Aug 01, 2010 13:39
It occurred to me recently that most people don't have memories that work like mine, and that I am rather an anomaly. Flashbacks edge into my head throughout the day, bringing me happy, embarrassing, disquieting, even rather mundane memories. This is the reason why I sometimes smile at myself, seemingly for no good reason at all, or get unhinged and unnerved out of the blue. This is why at times I am bursting with emotion, bursting with things to say and lamentations to unleash and regret to verbalize, and why I sometimes let little bits of it spill out, let traces of events be analyzed and scrutinized by others. This is no comfortable state of mind, but I also realize that the desire to expunge all the negativity must be balanced by the belief that life is beautiful not because it is perfect, but because it is a constant struggle to let the good thrive despite the bad.