Shameless self-promotion (of sorts)
May is almost over and I totally forgot to mention this until now. I am the Judge of the Month over at the Buffinator Awards. Kim and Kristine asked me a bunch of questions about BtVS and vidding and such, so if you're mildly curious or stalking me or just plain bored, head on over and check out my answers.
On an entirely unrelated note, I so need new icons. My current ones have been in use for a reeeeaaaaally long time and I've completely lost interest in them. I don't even need to shell out for the 50-icon upgrade; just want to replace these with better ones. Everyone on my flist has such fabulous icons. I am jealous. I'd like a really cool Anya icon, or two, or three. And a pretty W/T one. And a "Yay!" icon - you know, someone smiling or laughing or saying "Yay!", for when I make happy posts. And oooh, an angsty Wes one. Gotta have a Drusilla or Spike/Dru as well, because Dru = wicked pretty. Oh, and some vidding icons, kinda like sdwolfpup's. I actually had an idea for one and tried to make it, but alas, in the realm of graphics I am large with the suckage. I also want more Sports Night icons - although I kinda like the ones I have now. And a Brak icon! Yay Brak! And some Kids in the Hall icons. Maybe Bruce dressed as Cathy, or Mark dressed as the Chicken Lady. And Ab Fab, sweetie darling! And The Princess Bride! And I've been dying for an icon of Stewie from Family Guy saying "BLAST!" Maybe some political ones too, for those very rare times when my blathering wanders out of fannish or vidding territory and into current events. I need a new default icon too, like with my name on it or something. The one I have now is boring and sucks ass.
Hmm. Perhaps I do need that 50-icon upgrade after all.
I just realized I never wrote down my thoughts on the Angel finale. As expected, lots of people died. And as expected, I was upset. But not nearly as much as I thought I would be. Surprisingly, I'm kinda okay with Wesley kicking the bucket, even though he was probably the most fascinating character on the show for me (at least in terms of his relationship with Angel). The only thing that bugged me about it was the Wes/Fred shippyness right up to the end. He should have died in Angel's arms, not hers. (And I'm not even an A/W slasher - not in the sexual sense anyway.) The problem for me was that I just never "bought" the Wes/Fred romance and subsequent angst. Much like Angel/Cordy, it was a ship that I totally could have supported and loved, had the writers handled it correctly. But they didn't. With A/C, they took an easy, natural friendship that was slowly evolving into romance and abrubtly shoved it into a champions-and-destiny mold. With W/F, it was all too much too soon. The relationship sprang up out of nowhere at the end of "Smile Time". And within, what - 2 days? - Fred croaked and Wes went insane. And we're supposed to believe that a girlfriend who lasted one episode was his One Twu Wuv and that her death took away his entire reason for living. Sorry, I can't jump on that train. If they had started dating at the beginning of the season, it would be more plausible. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am totally on board with the concept that Wes has had so many horrible things happen in his life, and is such a completely different person from who he used to be, and has lost so much of his innocence and his faith and his self, that at this point death would be a sweet release. I get that. I just don't like that they're pinning his suicidal tendencies exclusively on the loss of Fred, and ignoring all the other relationships in his life and the rest of his extensive history and character development on the show. It feels like cheating, and it doesn't ring true for me. So, bleh.
I liked the very end. It was a perfect "fit" for this show. (Although I do wish the odds for Team Angel's survival hadn't been quite so bleak.) I love that each viewer gets to decide for themselves what happened in that alley. And now I am going to make a comparison between this episode and "The Gift" from BtVS. When "The Gift" first aired, some people said that Buffy's sacrifice was brave and beautiful and completely heroic, and some said she was taking the easy way out and basically committing suicide. I tend to agree with both sides. And I also believe that both are true about the AI gang's plan to take out the Black Thorn. It was a great thing to do, yes, but it also led to certain death, and I don't think any of them would have agreed to the plan if the past two years hadn't been so miserable for all of them. Angel lost Cordy, Fred, Connor in a way (although that was fixed by the finale). Gunn lost his trust in himself. Lorne lost his hope. Illyria lost her kingdom and her powers. Wes lost everything, poor dear: Fred, Lilah, Cordy, his sanity, his control, his trust in Angel (though that, too, was arguably restored by the end - the Wes/Angel stuff is quite complex, but I can't do it justice here). The group as a whole lost the mission - the most important thing! - as well as their link to TPTB. (I'm still not clear on where Angel's vision(s) came from or what exactly they showed him, so I'm ignoring that for now.) Spike is the exception; he was actually in a pretty good place in his unlife by the last ep, but it's totally in character for him to throw his hat into the ring anyway. "There's death, there's glory, and sod all else, right?" So yeah, they did a great thing by taking out this evil circle, and they went down fighting and it was grand and glorious, but I can't ignore that they were also weary and lost and ready to throw in the towel because, to paraphrase Willow, "this world's no fun anymore". Now, I should be clear that I don't think that's inherently a bad thing or that it in any way negates the good work that they accomplished. It's just kinda ... depressing.
I also think that the comparison extends to the entire Season 5 of Buffy vs. Season 5 of Angel. BtVS S5 was all about setting up Buffy's happy "family", both blood-related and not, and then stripping everything away from her so that at the end, that death wish that Spike alluded to in FFL was strong enough to help her do what she needed to do. Buffy says in "Spiral", "It just keeps coming. Glory ... Riley ... Tara ... Mom." She also loses her ability to love ("Intervention"), her sanity - briefly (TWOTW), her clarity ("The Gift": "I loved [Angel] so much. But I knew ... what was right. I don't have that anymore."), and her will to fight ("The Gift" again: "If Dawn dies, I'm done with it. I'm quitting."). When that portal opens, she not only has to jump, she wants to jump. I see Angel S5 in much the same way, only expanded to all the characters instead of just the title one. They all lose so much, and have so much taken away from them, and grow further and further from each other over the course of the year, that they end up signing on to Angel's plan not in spite of the risk to their lives, but because of it. (I would've put specific examples and quotes there as well, but I'm not nearly as familiar with this show; I've only seen each S5 episode once.) It is slightly different in that Angel's suicide mission was offensive, whereas Buffy's was defensive. Angel's crew didn't have to take out the Black Thorn. But it was a job that someone, somewhere, would have needed to carry out at some point. I can't see the AI gang of Seasons 1, 2, or even 3 being able to shoulder this burden. They were still too optimistic, too hopeful, too full of life. The gang had to be dragged into Tha PIT of DESPAAAAAIR! and beaten down beyond recovery in order to be ready for it. So in a sense, I'm glad that all the bad things that have happened to them turned out to be worth something. I'm glad that they were able to take the pain and anguish and all-around suckiness that comes with fighting the good fight, and make it work for them in the end.
Lorne. Oh, poor Lorne. His story was the saddest part, IMO. I know he can never go back to who he used to be, but I hope he can move on from this and find happiness once again. Lorne was always a creature of joy and light and music and laughter; he can't live in the harsh and murky grey like the rest of them. And quite frankly, I wouldn't expect him to, and would have been disappointed if he did. So I understand his decision. But oh geez, my heart aches for him.
Trying to think of other things to say. Yay Connor! and Yay Anne! I had no idea either of those two would show up; that was a nice surprise. I'm feeling somewhat torn; a few months ago I was quite pissed off with the show and was ready to dismiss Seasons 4 and 5 as a bad dream, but the ending kicked ass, so now I have to go back and reevaluate. Also, I am dying to find out what would have happened in Season 6 if the show hadn't been canned.
Wow, that was much much longer than I intended.
On an entirely unrelated note, I so need new icons. My current ones have been in use for a reeeeaaaaally long time and I've completely lost interest in them. I don't even need to shell out for the 50-icon upgrade; just want to replace these with better ones. Everyone on my flist has such fabulous icons. I am jealous. I'd like a really cool Anya icon, or two, or three. And a pretty W/T one. And a "Yay!" icon - you know, someone smiling or laughing or saying "Yay!", for when I make happy posts. And oooh, an angsty Wes one. Gotta have a Drusilla or Spike/Dru as well, because Dru = wicked pretty. Oh, and some vidding icons, kinda like sdwolfpup's. I actually had an idea for one and tried to make it, but alas, in the realm of graphics I am large with the suckage. I also want more Sports Night icons - although I kinda like the ones I have now. And a Brak icon! Yay Brak! And some Kids in the Hall icons. Maybe Bruce dressed as Cathy, or Mark dressed as the Chicken Lady. And Ab Fab, sweetie darling! And The Princess Bride! And I've been dying for an icon of Stewie from Family Guy saying "BLAST!" Maybe some political ones too, for those very rare times when my blathering wanders out of fannish or vidding territory and into current events. I need a new default icon too, like with my name on it or something. The one I have now is boring and sucks ass.
Hmm. Perhaps I do need that 50-icon upgrade after all.
I just realized I never wrote down my thoughts on the Angel finale. As expected, lots of people died. And as expected, I was upset. But not nearly as much as I thought I would be. Surprisingly, I'm kinda okay with Wesley kicking the bucket, even though he was probably the most fascinating character on the show for me (at least in terms of his relationship with Angel). The only thing that bugged me about it was the Wes/Fred shippyness right up to the end. He should have died in Angel's arms, not hers. (And I'm not even an A/W slasher - not in the sexual sense anyway.) The problem for me was that I just never "bought" the Wes/Fred romance and subsequent angst. Much like Angel/Cordy, it was a ship that I totally could have supported and loved, had the writers handled it correctly. But they didn't. With A/C, they took an easy, natural friendship that was slowly evolving into romance and abrubtly shoved it into a champions-and-destiny mold. With W/F, it was all too much too soon. The relationship sprang up out of nowhere at the end of "Smile Time". And within, what - 2 days? - Fred croaked and Wes went insane. And we're supposed to believe that a girlfriend who lasted one episode was his One Twu Wuv and that her death took away his entire reason for living. Sorry, I can't jump on that train. If they had started dating at the beginning of the season, it would be more plausible. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am totally on board with the concept that Wes has had so many horrible things happen in his life, and is such a completely different person from who he used to be, and has lost so much of his innocence and his faith and his self, that at this point death would be a sweet release. I get that. I just don't like that they're pinning his suicidal tendencies exclusively on the loss of Fred, and ignoring all the other relationships in his life and the rest of his extensive history and character development on the show. It feels like cheating, and it doesn't ring true for me. So, bleh.
I liked the very end. It was a perfect "fit" for this show. (Although I do wish the odds for Team Angel's survival hadn't been quite so bleak.) I love that each viewer gets to decide for themselves what happened in that alley. And now I am going to make a comparison between this episode and "The Gift" from BtVS. When "The Gift" first aired, some people said that Buffy's sacrifice was brave and beautiful and completely heroic, and some said she was taking the easy way out and basically committing suicide. I tend to agree with both sides. And I also believe that both are true about the AI gang's plan to take out the Black Thorn. It was a great thing to do, yes, but it also led to certain death, and I don't think any of them would have agreed to the plan if the past two years hadn't been so miserable for all of them. Angel lost Cordy, Fred, Connor in a way (although that was fixed by the finale). Gunn lost his trust in himself. Lorne lost his hope. Illyria lost her kingdom and her powers. Wes lost everything, poor dear: Fred, Lilah, Cordy, his sanity, his control, his trust in Angel (though that, too, was arguably restored by the end - the Wes/Angel stuff is quite complex, but I can't do it justice here). The group as a whole lost the mission - the most important thing! - as well as their link to TPTB. (I'm still not clear on where Angel's vision(s) came from or what exactly they showed him, so I'm ignoring that for now.) Spike is the exception; he was actually in a pretty good place in his unlife by the last ep, but it's totally in character for him to throw his hat into the ring anyway. "There's death, there's glory, and sod all else, right?" So yeah, they did a great thing by taking out this evil circle, and they went down fighting and it was grand and glorious, but I can't ignore that they were also weary and lost and ready to throw in the towel because, to paraphrase Willow, "this world's no fun anymore". Now, I should be clear that I don't think that's inherently a bad thing or that it in any way negates the good work that they accomplished. It's just kinda ... depressing.
I also think that the comparison extends to the entire Season 5 of Buffy vs. Season 5 of Angel. BtVS S5 was all about setting up Buffy's happy "family", both blood-related and not, and then stripping everything away from her so that at the end, that death wish that Spike alluded to in FFL was strong enough to help her do what she needed to do. Buffy says in "Spiral", "It just keeps coming. Glory ... Riley ... Tara ... Mom." She also loses her ability to love ("Intervention"), her sanity - briefly (TWOTW), her clarity ("The Gift": "I loved [Angel] so much. But I knew ... what was right. I don't have that anymore."), and her will to fight ("The Gift" again: "If Dawn dies, I'm done with it. I'm quitting."). When that portal opens, she not only has to jump, she wants to jump. I see Angel S5 in much the same way, only expanded to all the characters instead of just the title one. They all lose so much, and have so much taken away from them, and grow further and further from each other over the course of the year, that they end up signing on to Angel's plan not in spite of the risk to their lives, but because of it. (I would've put specific examples and quotes there as well, but I'm not nearly as familiar with this show; I've only seen each S5 episode once.) It is slightly different in that Angel's suicide mission was offensive, whereas Buffy's was defensive. Angel's crew didn't have to take out the Black Thorn. But it was a job that someone, somewhere, would have needed to carry out at some point. I can't see the AI gang of Seasons 1, 2, or even 3 being able to shoulder this burden. They were still too optimistic, too hopeful, too full of life. The gang had to be dragged into Tha PIT of DESPAAAAAIR! and beaten down beyond recovery in order to be ready for it. So in a sense, I'm glad that all the bad things that have happened to them turned out to be worth something. I'm glad that they were able to take the pain and anguish and all-around suckiness that comes with fighting the good fight, and make it work for them in the end.
Lorne. Oh, poor Lorne. His story was the saddest part, IMO. I know he can never go back to who he used to be, but I hope he can move on from this and find happiness once again. Lorne was always a creature of joy and light and music and laughter; he can't live in the harsh and murky grey like the rest of them. And quite frankly, I wouldn't expect him to, and would have been disappointed if he did. So I understand his decision. But oh geez, my heart aches for him.
Trying to think of other things to say. Yay Connor! and Yay Anne! I had no idea either of those two would show up; that was a nice surprise. I'm feeling somewhat torn; a few months ago I was quite pissed off with the show and was ready to dismiss Seasons 4 and 5 as a bad dream, but the ending kicked ass, so now I have to go back and reevaluate. Also, I am dying to find out what would have happened in Season 6 if the show hadn't been canned.
Wow, that was much much longer than I intended.