Have No Choice

[pipsdixiechick]

Just need to vent, not trying to sound needy or sorry for myself or anything. It's just that, boy, going thru a divorce - particularly one like I have gone thru - is one experience that I never want to have again. And one big reason is, it seems like a lot of my friends and family seem to either avoid me like the plague or make me feel insignificant altogether. It's like they believe I am cursed after what I went through, and God forbid, if I make any kind of contact with them, I may ruin their happiness or their good luck. Phone calls that I try to put through either are ignored or not returned. When I say something, I seem to get belittled for saying it. My own family seem to feel they were obligated to take me in, but yet I still feel like an outsider and not really included in any kind of activities going on (especially my sister, who likes to go out and doesn't include me. I could use that right now, as I don't really know anyone too well as of now.) It even feels like plans I have made with people are being put aside, possibly because of such risks. Which makes me sad, because this is the time when I really need that comraderie.

After much consideration, I don't think I will be around familiar settings online much anymore. I will make sure to send out my VERY belated Christmas cards (okay, V-Day now), as I have said I would. It's just that, right now, I am starting to see where I stand, and need to accept the role of loner, as I am on my own completely. Hopefully, I will be good again in the next few months. I just want everyone to know that I am not cursed, I am not a failure, and I am not destined to become a sad old maid. I won't let it happen.