Cherry Cordialities
Every so often, I must sign onto this account to assure myself that I remember its password, because saving passwords is for chumps who will get crushed underfoot when robots enact the New World Order. Once signed in, I might as well make a poasty-post, because it's fabled that I do that, every so often.
Now, I have a fine list of various topics I could expound upon, but I get the sneaking suspicion that all those topics are only interesting to me, and only interesting to me in that I would be interested in writing about them, but would read over them and quickly discover that even I'm not interested in them any more. So instead, I present you with a truncated, cherry-picked list of questions forwarded to me through the interstellarspacewebs. Don't worry, I've only taken out the really boring questions.
5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
>>>If the breakfast of Michael Phelps was so goddamn interesting, I can only conclude that my breakfast routine is JUST AS INTERESTING. So, the answer is, "AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE," because science shows that breakfast skippers are overwhelmingly fatties, or at high-risk for developing a lardass disease. We start with a single serving of Apple Cinnamon Cheerios (3/4ths of a cup, interestingly enough, is a serving. As a child, I would eat like, five servings and consider that part and parcel of the complete healthy breakfast), followed by an Egg McBluffin (whole wheat english muffin! skim-milk cheese! the bacon of CANADIANS!!! the egg of CHICKENS!!!). Around this time, I'll probably drink straight from my orange juice or milk cartons, because they're mine and it's not like I have company over wanting to drink my milk and orange juice. Why dirty a glass? Then I will eat a fruit, and lament my lack of breakfast vegetables, because it is my goal to eat a food pyramid for breakfast every morning.
9. What kind of car do you drive?
>>>To answer a different question, my car's name is Hector. Heck, for short.
10. Favorite sandwich?
>>>There are only two kinds of sandwiches in my world: deli meat sandwiches, and peanut butter sandwiches. The meat sandwiches are accompanied with cheeses, and vegetables from the black market. The peanut butter sandwiches are accompanied with bananas, or jelly, although sometimes the peanut butter is made of almonds.
11. What characteristic do you despise?
>>>HAHAHAHHAHAHA humanity.
12. Favorite item of clothing?
>>>My two pairs of Rocket Dog Joint Sneakers, which I plan on wearing until they disintegrate off of my feet. (To be clear, I wear other shoes. This isn't Michelangelo-style shoe-wearing; I just mean I will wear them, as they fall apart, until they reach a point where they will no longer stay on.) They are my shoe. And shoes are the most important thing, in case I need to run away; I can be naked, but as long as I have shoes on I feel that I, personally, will fare better than if I had on clothes but no shoes, since I don't have leathery hobbit feet.
15. Where would you retire to?
>>>It's a toss-up between the Appalachian Mountains (likely North Carolina), the cliffs of Howth in Ireland, the postcard-picturesque Zermatt in Switzerland, or an island in the Venetian lagoon.
17. Favorite sport to watch?
>>>Rugby, preferably in a language I can't understand, so as to better appreciate the bewildering onslaught of neverending violence and mayhem!
23. Pets?
>>>They will be given great names, like Sir Leodore, or Colonel Barkface.
27. What is your favorite candy?
>>>CANDY IS SATAN'S WORK. That said, 60-80% dark chocolate is good, but kinder bueno is equally magical.
28. What is your favorite flower?
>>>The flower of science and reason. Will someone consult their Victorian Flower Meaning handbooks, and tell me which flower stands for science and reason? Also, which flower stands for, "Though dinner was good last night and I found the movie moderately enjoyable, I think you're a jerk and we shouldn't see each other again, unless you want to buy me a size 7 tanzanite ring on multiple occasions, and if you agree to stop being such a man-whore; by the way, has the price of postage gone up?" Because I'm pretty sure there's one that says something like that, and I'd love to be able to say that to someone with a flower. It is likely they will respond with the flower of "What the hell?, we never even went to dinner together!"
29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
>>>Judgment Day. If it never happens, then hey, looks like it doesn't matter! But if it does happen, then I think this would be a big, fun thing to be proven wrong on. Theories would undoubtedly be modified.
31. What are you listening to right now?
>>>Endorphinmachine by Erobique, on a playlist of over 50 songs I've gotten for free from iTunes.
32. What was the last thing you ate?
>>>Technically, yogurt with banana nut granola, preceded by two strawberries, preceded by a bowl of green seedless grapes, preceded by a slice of prosciutto e funghi pizza that I made. Sadly, this pizza was still not thin enough to obtain that unique lack of structural integrity so ubiquitous in the world of Italian pizza.
33. Do you wish on stars?
>>>Only if you're going to offer the proper burnt sacrifices when you pray for me.
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
>>>Let's consult the SIXTY-FOUR COLOR BOX that I got for free today from the Free Zone (which is a magical place in my apartment complex where free things appear all the time, like in some game). We'll go with...dandelion.
37. Favorite soft drink?
>>>Soft drinks are an abomination unto my sight.
38. Favorite restaurant?
>>>I am fond of the Refectory, and also this sushi place in Raleigh (that may be called Sushi Blues). For delicious but slightly-pricey hot sandwiches, Palermo's Deli can't much be beat. Chai's or P.F. Chang's are great for the pseudo-Asian tastes. And there's always Jimmy Johns, for when I especially want my mouth to burn the delicious burn of hot-pepper goodness.
40. What was your favorite toy as a child?
>>>My spectacular collection of Legos (slowly amassed small, $10 set by small, $10 set), my Hot Wheel cars, and my Barbies. Also, that damn little plastic orange cat, who advised me so badly in that Tic-Tac experiment.
41. Summer or winter?
>>>Both of these seasons suck to actually be in. One's too hot and the other's too cold. Stick to spring or fall.
44. Coffee or tea?
>>>If we're talking American coffee, then I'll take tea of almost any kind. But if we're talking delectable coffee, then you can keep the tea.
47. What is under your bed?
>>>Two pyrex dishes, a crock-pot, and twenty-four rolls of toilet paper (all items are in hiding. Or...they were.)
48. What did you do last night?
>>>Conquered the art of stir-fry.
49. What are you afraid of?
>>>Durham at night. Typically, I arm myself with a cheese grater.
51. How many keys on your key ring?
>>>Seven keys. Three go to two different vehicles. Three go to three different doors. One is for a mailbox. There's also a keybob, a screwdriver, and a liberated LED crank light.
Well, that was a weird question to end on.
Now, I have a fine list of various topics I could expound upon, but I get the sneaking suspicion that all those topics are only interesting to me, and only interesting to me in that I would be interested in writing about them, but would read over them and quickly discover that even I'm not interested in them any more. So instead, I present you with a truncated, cherry-picked list of questions forwarded to me through the interstellarspacewebs. Don't worry, I've only taken out the really boring questions.
5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
>>>If the breakfast of Michael Phelps was so goddamn interesting, I can only conclude that my breakfast routine is JUST AS INTERESTING. So, the answer is, "AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE," because science shows that breakfast skippers are overwhelmingly fatties, or at high-risk for developing a lardass disease. We start with a single serving of Apple Cinnamon Cheerios (3/4ths of a cup, interestingly enough, is a serving. As a child, I would eat like, five servings and consider that part and parcel of the complete healthy breakfast), followed by an Egg McBluffin (whole wheat english muffin! skim-milk cheese! the bacon of CANADIANS!!! the egg of CHICKENS!!!). Around this time, I'll probably drink straight from my orange juice or milk cartons, because they're mine and it's not like I have company over wanting to drink my milk and orange juice. Why dirty a glass? Then I will eat a fruit, and lament my lack of breakfast vegetables, because it is my goal to eat a food pyramid for breakfast every morning.
9. What kind of car do you drive?
>>>To answer a different question, my car's name is Hector. Heck, for short.
10. Favorite sandwich?
>>>There are only two kinds of sandwiches in my world: deli meat sandwiches, and peanut butter sandwiches. The meat sandwiches are accompanied with cheeses, and vegetables from the black market. The peanut butter sandwiches are accompanied with bananas, or jelly, although sometimes the peanut butter is made of almonds.
11. What characteristic do you despise?
>>>HAHAHAHHAHAHA humanity.
12. Favorite item of clothing?
>>>My two pairs of Rocket Dog Joint Sneakers, which I plan on wearing until they disintegrate off of my feet. (To be clear, I wear other shoes. This isn't Michelangelo-style shoe-wearing; I just mean I will wear them, as they fall apart, until they reach a point where they will no longer stay on.) They are my shoe. And shoes are the most important thing, in case I need to run away; I can be naked, but as long as I have shoes on I feel that I, personally, will fare better than if I had on clothes but no shoes, since I don't have leathery hobbit feet.
15. Where would you retire to?
>>>It's a toss-up between the Appalachian Mountains (likely North Carolina), the cliffs of Howth in Ireland, the postcard-picturesque Zermatt in Switzerland, or an island in the Venetian lagoon.
17. Favorite sport to watch?
>>>Rugby, preferably in a language I can't understand, so as to better appreciate the bewildering onslaught of neverending violence and mayhem!
23. Pets?
>>>They will be given great names, like Sir Leodore, or Colonel Barkface.
27. What is your favorite candy?
>>>CANDY IS SATAN'S WORK. That said, 60-80% dark chocolate is good, but kinder bueno is equally magical.
28. What is your favorite flower?
>>>The flower of science and reason. Will someone consult their Victorian Flower Meaning handbooks, and tell me which flower stands for science and reason? Also, which flower stands for, "Though dinner was good last night and I found the movie moderately enjoyable, I think you're a jerk and we shouldn't see each other again, unless you want to buy me a size 7 tanzanite ring on multiple occasions, and if you agree to stop being such a man-whore; by the way, has the price of postage gone up?" Because I'm pretty sure there's one that says something like that, and I'd love to be able to say that to someone with a flower. It is likely they will respond with the flower of "What the hell?, we never even went to dinner together!"
29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
>>>Judgment Day. If it never happens, then hey, looks like it doesn't matter! But if it does happen, then I think this would be a big, fun thing to be proven wrong on. Theories would undoubtedly be modified.
31. What are you listening to right now?
>>>Endorphinmachine by Erobique, on a playlist of over 50 songs I've gotten for free from iTunes.
32. What was the last thing you ate?
>>>Technically, yogurt with banana nut granola, preceded by two strawberries, preceded by a bowl of green seedless grapes, preceded by a slice of prosciutto e funghi pizza that I made. Sadly, this pizza was still not thin enough to obtain that unique lack of structural integrity so ubiquitous in the world of Italian pizza.
33. Do you wish on stars?
>>>Only if you're going to offer the proper burnt sacrifices when you pray for me.
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
>>>Let's consult the SIXTY-FOUR COLOR BOX that I got for free today from the Free Zone (which is a magical place in my apartment complex where free things appear all the time, like in some game). We'll go with...dandelion.
37. Favorite soft drink?
>>>Soft drinks are an abomination unto my sight.
38. Favorite restaurant?
>>>I am fond of the Refectory, and also this sushi place in Raleigh (that may be called Sushi Blues). For delicious but slightly-pricey hot sandwiches, Palermo's Deli can't much be beat. Chai's or P.F. Chang's are great for the pseudo-Asian tastes. And there's always Jimmy Johns, for when I especially want my mouth to burn the delicious burn of hot-pepper goodness.
40. What was your favorite toy as a child?
>>>My spectacular collection of Legos (slowly amassed small, $10 set by small, $10 set), my Hot Wheel cars, and my Barbies. Also, that damn little plastic orange cat, who advised me so badly in that Tic-Tac experiment.
41. Summer or winter?
>>>Both of these seasons suck to actually be in. One's too hot and the other's too cold. Stick to spring or fall.
44. Coffee or tea?
>>>If we're talking American coffee, then I'll take tea of almost any kind. But if we're talking delectable coffee, then you can keep the tea.
47. What is under your bed?
>>>Two pyrex dishes, a crock-pot, and twenty-four rolls of toilet paper (all items are in hiding. Or...they were.)
48. What did you do last night?
>>>Conquered the art of stir-fry.
49. What are you afraid of?
>>>Durham at night. Typically, I arm myself with a cheese grater.
51. How many keys on your key ring?
>>>Seven keys. Three go to two different vehicles. Three go to three different doors. One is for a mailbox. There's also a keybob, a screwdriver, and a liberated LED crank light.
Well, that was a weird question to end on.