(no subject)
My mom commented several times that I was much changed this visit- not sulky/pouty/irritable, and a pleasure to be with.
It is a grief of mind to me that I have blown my Christian testimony with my family and friends who do not know the Lord; my past behavior has not shown them that being a Christian means anything- in fact, I was more miserable than they were so how could I possibly show them the joy that should have been mine? I have begun to pray that God will be merciful and allow me another chance to show His love to others. God used the last few months as a period of chastisement, I firmly believe, to show me that it was time to stop being a gossipy, fault-finding, lying person who brought shame to the name of Christ. How could I claim to be a Christian and show less love and kindness that those who don't know Him as Saviour? Even if you did not see it as so, I knew it was there, and at the very least I was a hypocrite.
I must ask your forgiveness, my friends, for making the name of Christ a mockery in your eyes. I have done nothing to show the love of Christ in my life- in fact, you might already have concluded that there is nothing to Christianity because of me. I weep to think that may very well have been the case. Please forgive me, and allow me another opportunity to show you that He is a great Saviour.
I have made this entry public, but disallowed comments because the post does not require them. My life has touched many people, but I fear it touched you in the wrong way, and I am more sorry than words can possibly convey. I have changed my whole face and demeanor at work as well, and allow my coworkers to really see what Christ can do in a life.
I love you all.
It is a grief of mind to me that I have blown my Christian testimony with my family and friends who do not know the Lord; my past behavior has not shown them that being a Christian means anything- in fact, I was more miserable than they were so how could I possibly show them the joy that should have been mine? I have begun to pray that God will be merciful and allow me another chance to show His love to others. God used the last few months as a period of chastisement, I firmly believe, to show me that it was time to stop being a gossipy, fault-finding, lying person who brought shame to the name of Christ. How could I claim to be a Christian and show less love and kindness that those who don't know Him as Saviour? Even if you did not see it as so, I knew it was there, and at the very least I was a hypocrite.
I must ask your forgiveness, my friends, for making the name of Christ a mockery in your eyes. I have done nothing to show the love of Christ in my life- in fact, you might already have concluded that there is nothing to Christianity because of me. I weep to think that may very well have been the case. Please forgive me, and allow me another opportunity to show you that He is a great Saviour.
I have made this entry public, but disallowed comments because the post does not require them. My life has touched many people, but I fear it touched you in the wrong way, and I am more sorry than words can possibly convey. I have changed my whole face and demeanor at work as well, and allow my coworkers to really see what Christ can do in a life.
I love you all.