Fic: in the gaps, in-between words... 1/?
Title: In The Gaps, In-between Words (part 1/?)
Author: pippin1983
Pairing: Charles / Erik
Word Count: 816
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Author’s Note: My knowledge of X-Men is purely Movie-verse, I know nothing concerning the comics and only very little concerning the cartoons, so be kind. The title is taken from Maximo Park’s song “Girls Who Play Guitars”. Thanks to the marvelous mondays_eyes for her wonderful job as my beta-reader! crossposted at pippin1983 , oceanfic_815 , pippin1983 , and my own journal mondays_eyes
-1-
Charles Xavier hastened away from the outer grounds. As he walked, he nearly ran over Raven, who was doing her sit-ups on the lawn outside the front door. He stumbled into Hank and Alex, coming upstairs from the atomic bunker where they’d just tested another “Havok”-suit. These minor incidents didn’t deter Charles. He didn’t stop in his tracks until he’d reached his sanctuary, the library - and had locked the door behind him. He was shivering all over when he finally slumped into his easy chair. Only when he lifted his trembling hand to wipe off the cold sweat forming on his forehead did he realize that he was still holding the gun. Stupid, arrogant, egocentric bastard! Thinking he could deflect the bullet! Sure, he might actually have been able to, but Charles wouldn’t take that chance, not that close to his friend's skull. What in God’s name had Erik been thinking?
It seemed quite a strange question for a telepath to ask, but he’d promised Erik to stay out of his head. However, it was so very hard to do at times.
Back on their recruiting trip, for instance. Charles would have loved to know if, in that strip club where they’d found Angel, Erik had felt this strange (sexual?) tension between them, too; And he would also have liked to know what Erik had been thinking, when he was grinning wickedly after that other mutant they’d wanted to recruit had told them to “go fuck themselves”. And what might Erik have made of Charles’s refusing to share hotel rooms on their trip? - Charles had been scared that in such close proximity he wouldn’t be able to keep his mind from accidently sending fractions of dreams to Erik that definitely weren’t for the other man to see.
Angrily, he flung the gun towards the large wooden door, hoping that he’d secured it so it wouldn’t go off on landing. (He had.)
What if he had taken the risk of shared hotel rooms and had (accidentally!) sent those snapshots that he was afraid of the other man seeing? Would Erik then have understood why he’d just refused to fire that bullet at him? Charles gasped when another thought hit him. Would Erik even still be here today if he had known? Wouldn’t he have left their group? No, no, no, Charles, you’ve done right by hiding it from him.
Charles would much rather have Erik nknowing but still around than knowing and leaving in disgust. Charles? Are you alright? Are you in there?
At first Charles didn’t realize what he was hearing. It wasn’t of Alex, Sean and Raven’s chatter, wondering what was wrong with the professor, which he’d overheard moments ago. It wasn’t Hank, telling the kids that even the professor was only a man andIt wasn’t Hank, telling the kids that even the professor was only a man and allowed his moments. Can you hear me Charles?
And it wasn’t said aloud either - not that he’d actually heard the others, he’d only been able to overhear them thanks to his gift. But this was someone he’d never thought would open his mind to him this freely, actively reaching for Charles with his thoughts.
Erik?
Charles. May I come in?
Yes, just let me -
He was about to get up when he heard the key turn by itself. Why had he even bothered to close the door, if Erik could open it effortlessly anyway?
No need to bother, my friend.
Entering the library, Erik flicked two of his fingers out and made the gun levitate up into his hand. He casually shoved it between his back and his waistband.
“I need to apologize, Erik, I shouldn’t have…”
Erik sat down in the easy chair opposite Charles. No, Charles, no. It isn’t you who has to apologize.
Charles looked at Erik in wonder.
I was stupid to ask you to shoot at me.
“Erik, what is… I ean I… why don’t you…?”
Speak aloud?
Charles wasn’t able to say anything, he was too amazed at the fact that Erik would readily communicate with him through telepathy. He’d been afraid of this, of Charles’s gift, ever since Charles had first saved him from drowning and now he was using it calmly. Charles could do nothing more but nod.
Because I trust you, Charles. I… I never trusted anyone, not since the War, the camp… Schmidt - or Shaw… Not one single person. But I do trust you, Charles. That’s why I’d asked you to pull the trigger.
But… Charles swallowed hard. He could never have wished for as much from Erik. Not with all he knew about him. He didn’t know what he had done to deserve so much. How do I deserve that? He thought at Erik.
Charles… Just stop questioning, please?
If Charles were not a man of his word, he could of course have dug into Erik’s mind, looking for the reasons. But he was a man to his word.