"Figuring IT Out", A GLEE Fan Fiction
A/N: I've NEVER written anything like this before. I've never written about this topic before, so I'm kind of nervous that I didn't do it justice. I wrote this for a prompt, so it it was written rather quickly and hasn't been proofed or Beta'd. That being said, I hope that I did the prompt some justice. Please leave a comment, if you can… Thanks!
Also, this site was extremely helpful to me while writing this fic and I think that it will be helpful to you while reading it.
http://asexualadolescence.wordpress.com/relevant-terms/
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Figuring ‘IT’ Out
"You and Brittany have a..." Mike lowered his voice, hoping that the other people in the thinning-out crowds of students wouldn't hear him and that his voice wouldn't echo off the tiles. "Sexual relationship, right?"
"Wha--?" Artie asked, surprised to hear the words out of the he usually quiet, reserved, and polite Asian's mouth.
"I mean, you and Brittany have a sexual relationship, right?" Mike asked.
"I'm not sure if that's something that I want to answer, because if I say it, then all of Glee club will know." Artie answered, ever the honest person.
"I mean, how do you know that you're like... attracted to someone?"
"I'm not sure if I'm the best person to ask about that- maybe Puck, or Kurt, or Tina, why aren't you asking Tina?" Artie questioned back. "She's your girlfriend... Right?"
"Can you... feel... anything?" Mike asked, hoping that he wouldn't offend Artie, because he knew how much being a paraplegic affected Artie and he didn't want to invade his friend's space. It was impolite.
Artie looked away, pretending to be distracted by a sign on a bulletin board. At first, I thought that I might have been paralyzed... down there..." Artie admitted. "But then, I started feeling... an itch... But a small one... I started doing research, because by then Puck and Santana had banged half the class. In my research, I discovered a website called AVEN, or Asexual Visibility and Education Network."
"Wait." Mike stated softly. "I don't mean to interrupt." He paused. "Sorry." he added quickly.
"Don't worry about it."
"What's asexual?"
"It means that you don't experience sexual attraction." Artie explained.
"To anyone?" Mike questioned.
"Well, 'Demi-Sexuals' experience attraction once they are in a committed, romantic relationship and 'Gray- A's' experience some attraction, and like all sexuality, it's fluid, and on a scale, but they can identify a lot with asexuals."
"What about you. You said that you didn't start feeling," Mike lowered his voice, "Stuff down there until later, right?"
"Let me finish my story." Artie said. "I thought that I was asexual, but then I found that I might have been Gray- A, then DemiSexual, but then I realized that I was sexual, but just kind of a late bloomer. I started seeing girls everywhere, in the movies, on the internet, and that was when I confirmed that I'm a straight, sexual, male."
"And you were a late bloomer, right..." Mike drew on. "So maybe I am, too..."
"What?" Artie asked, not picking up all that Mike had said, as he spoke too quickly and too quietly.
"I don't think that I've ever been sexually attracted to anyone." Mike mumbled quietly.
"Okay." Artie accepted the answer simply and that surprised Mike. "I'm not going to ask you if just haven't met the right person yet, because sexuality is up for the individual to figure out." Artie rambled to himself.
Artie didn't want to pressure Mike into anything, because Artie knew that it had been a struggle for him to figure things out, so he hoped that Mike would ask him. If not, Artie would bring it up, but he didn't want to.
"Would you help me?"
"How?" Artie asked.
"Um... I don't know... It was a dumb question." Mike looked down at his shoes. "I should really get to dance..." Mike turned around. "Thanks for--"
"STOP." Artie commanded.
"Would you like to go to Spencer's and maybe try a toy or two of mine or watch some porn?" Artie asked.
Mike's usually pale cheeks flushed. "Maybe."
"After school?" Artie asked.
Mike nodded.
--
Walking past the hats and the clothing, Mike looked around the store. His eyes glanced over a shirt with female body parts on it and Mike blushed and looked away.
Mike's heart pounded. He hoped that no one he knew would see him walk in.
His mom had 'eyes' or 'friends' everywhere.
"Mike!" Artie called, and Mike ducked his head, hoping that no one would see hi,. He sunk into his hoodie.
"They're in the back." Artie explained. "Come on!"
Mike's head continued to spin. Maybe it was because of the incense. He coughed and followed Artie.
"This," Artie pointed to a toy, "Is a..."
"WhatifTinawalksin?!" Mike mumbled.
"What?" Artie asked.
"This is Tina's favorite store!" Mike freaked out.
"I know."
"As I was saying," Artie pulled a toy off of a hook and the entire rack jingled.
Mike flinched. He had never seen a toy before. He thought that it was weird and gross. Sure, he was staring at it, but it was because he had never seen one before.
"I'm going to..." Mike back up, "Meet you out front." Mike dashed from the back of the store, towards the front.
As Mike was exiting, he nearly crashed into Tina.
"Mike! What are you doing here?!" Tina asked.
"I'm..." Mike paused to look for the words.
"He's helping me pick out a new hat," Artie dropped in smoothly.
"Yepp. Bro code." Mike added in, then rushed to the exit that lead into the mall.
--
A week later, Mike sat on a chair next to Artie, starring at a computer screen in Artie's bedroom.
"Since you freaked out at Spencer's, I think that we'll start with..."
Mike held his breathing.
"Fan fiction..."
"What?" Mike released his breath. "Like Livejournal? 'Cause my cousin moderates a Super Junior fan fiction and those Elf's freak me out."
"Soft porn fan fiction!" Artie exclaimed.
"Oh. Uhh... okay? What kind?"
"Show Choir fan fiction?!"
"How do you even know about fan fiction?" Mike asked.
"Uhh... Tina." Artie explained.
Mike nodded. "'Course."
"Hey, dude, Tina totally."
"I know, I know... chill!"
"Do you want to read it?" Artie asked, moving his wheel chair over so that Mike could see the screen.
"O... kay..."
A half an hour later, both boys were into the fan fiction.
"So let me get this straight. Hawk hooked up with Kara who is really Kart, but they made him a girl in this fan fiction?!"
"You didn't even notice that the fan fiction had some soft porn?" Artie asked.
Mike shrugged. "I skipped over it." he admitted.
--
Mike went home that night and opened the internet. His mom wouldn't be home from the store for another hour, his little sister was at after school care, and his dad was away on business, so he had the media room to himself for a while.
He couldn't remember the site that Artie had told him about... Avon? Avenues? What was it called? He gave up and Googled 'Asexual'. A few links down, he found the site. AVEN. He clicked on it then opened the message boards.
He looked around. Then closed the site. He couldn't do it.
He exited out of the window, then cleared his history. He couldn't be asexual.
--
"Next up... porn." Artie announced.
Mike's eyes widened.
"I don't."
"You said that you wanted to try watching some.
"I know, but..."
"Come on."
"Artie pressed 'play' and the video began.
Less than two minutes later, Mike rolled his eyes up so that he didn't have to watch, but he looked like he was.
"I gotta go... to the bathroom..." Mike got up and rushed out of the room.
Ten minutes later, he walked back into Artie's room.
"So... did you feel anything?" Artie asked.
"Besides for nausea?" Mike asked back.
--
Two weeks later, Mike got back from Football and Glee practice and she showered. The thought of sex hadn't crossed his mind in the past two weeks. He realized that it never did, and the more that he thought about it, it was on his mind a million times less than everyone else he knew. Sure, he went on dates with Tina, and they kissed, but he didn't think about it. He realized that he was finally, maybe, getting used to the idea of an intimate relationship. Maybe. Not really.
He couldn't help it.
He opened the internet browser and typed 'AVEN' into Google.
He clicked on the link, opened the message board, entered the forums, started a new topic, and began to tell his story... partially... he left out details.
--
Two days later, Mike opened up AVEN. He opened the message board and was surprised to see that several people had responded.
He was frustrated, though, to see how many people said, 'But it's up for you to decide for sure."
It frustrated him.
Why couldn't he just be turned on and sleep with every girl that he knew, like Puck?!
--
"You gotta tell Tina, Dude." Artie told Mike, as they walked into Glee club.
"Tell me what?" Tina asked, as she fixed the giant black bow that she had tied around he head.
"Uh... Nothing." Mike said, as Artie gave him a look.
--
Friday, Mike took Tina out to Dim Sum.
They shared a plate like they usually did, and Tina took a sip of Diet Coke.
"Uh... Tina?"
"What's wrong Mike? Do you not like me?" Tina asked.
"No, it's not that..." Mike trailed off.
"Then what is it?" Tina pleaded for an answer. "You've been distant for weeks and every time that I try to kiss you, you move away. Are you not... Happy?"
"No!" Mike exclaimed. "Yes..." he paused and let out a frustrated groan. "I don't know..."
Tina tossed down 10 dollars and stood up. She held out her hand. Mike looked at it and took it.
Mike tossed down some cash and followed Tina out onto the street.
The two began to walk, their fingers entwined. "Mike, what is it?" she paused. "You can talk to me... It's not that long ago that I didn't have things figured out... I still don't."
Mike's ears perked at Tina's words.
"Tina... I don't think that I ever want to have sex." He stated.
"Ever?" she asked.
Mike nodded his head.
"I don't understand. How could someone not want to have sex?"
Mike shrugged. "I guess I don't."
"I mean, I like guys. And sometimes girls... I think… I guess I'm bi..." she trailed off.
"And I guess I'm asexual."
--
"I mean, are you okay with not having sex- at least for now?" Mike asked his girlfriend.
"It'll be kind of hard, sure, but I'll do it for you." Tina took Mike's hand.
There was a moment of awkward silence.
"Are you still okay with kissing?" Tina asked, hesitating.
Mike took a moment to pause. He had been thinking about his answer, but he didn't know how he expected it to come out. "Yes... Asian kiss?" he asked.
He leaned forward and Tina leaned forward and they pecked each other's lips.
--
"Did you know that some asexuals don't mind having sex?" Mike asked. "I mean, some are okay if it's a friend, other's don't mind either way, and some have had sex for years until they realized that they didn't feel anything."
"Whoa." Tina looked up from the Glee costume that she was putting together.
"Yeah."
"I don't mean to rush you, but do you know where you stand?" Tina asked.
Mike shrugged.
"I'm still figuring it out as I go." he replied honestly. "I know that I'm a romantic, hetero- romantic, Ace. I'm still not definitively sure."
Tina took Mike's hand. "I don't want to push you to do any more than you're comfortable with, even though I have, um, needs. But I'm on some of the boards for friends, family members, and partners of asexuals, so I want to be with you... Okay?"
Mike looked up and smiled warmly. He couldn’t have asked for a more supportive girlfriend.
"Thanks... Asian kiss?"
A/N: So… uhhh… How do you think that this turn out? Thanks for reading!"Fi
Also, this site was extremely helpful to me while writing this fic and I think that it will be helpful to you while reading it.
http://asexualadolescence.wordpress.com/relevant-terms/
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Figuring ‘IT’ Out
"You and Brittany have a..." Mike lowered his voice, hoping that the other people in the thinning-out crowds of students wouldn't hear him and that his voice wouldn't echo off the tiles. "Sexual relationship, right?"
"Wha--?" Artie asked, surprised to hear the words out of the he usually quiet, reserved, and polite Asian's mouth.
"I mean, you and Brittany have a sexual relationship, right?" Mike asked.
"I'm not sure if that's something that I want to answer, because if I say it, then all of Glee club will know." Artie answered, ever the honest person.
"I mean, how do you know that you're like... attracted to someone?"
"I'm not sure if I'm the best person to ask about that- maybe Puck, or Kurt, or Tina, why aren't you asking Tina?" Artie questioned back. "She's your girlfriend... Right?"
"Can you... feel... anything?" Mike asked, hoping that he wouldn't offend Artie, because he knew how much being a paraplegic affected Artie and he didn't want to invade his friend's space. It was impolite.
Artie looked away, pretending to be distracted by a sign on a bulletin board. At first, I thought that I might have been paralyzed... down there..." Artie admitted. "But then, I started feeling... an itch... But a small one... I started doing research, because by then Puck and Santana had banged half the class. In my research, I discovered a website called AVEN, or Asexual Visibility and Education Network."
"Wait." Mike stated softly. "I don't mean to interrupt." He paused. "Sorry." he added quickly.
"Don't worry about it."
"What's asexual?"
"It means that you don't experience sexual attraction." Artie explained.
"To anyone?" Mike questioned.
"Well, 'Demi-Sexuals' experience attraction once they are in a committed, romantic relationship and 'Gray- A's' experience some attraction, and like all sexuality, it's fluid, and on a scale, but they can identify a lot with asexuals."
"What about you. You said that you didn't start feeling," Mike lowered his voice, "Stuff down there until later, right?"
"Let me finish my story." Artie said. "I thought that I was asexual, but then I found that I might have been Gray- A, then DemiSexual, but then I realized that I was sexual, but just kind of a late bloomer. I started seeing girls everywhere, in the movies, on the internet, and that was when I confirmed that I'm a straight, sexual, male."
"And you were a late bloomer, right..." Mike drew on. "So maybe I am, too..."
"What?" Artie asked, not picking up all that Mike had said, as he spoke too quickly and too quietly.
"I don't think that I've ever been sexually attracted to anyone." Mike mumbled quietly.
"Okay." Artie accepted the answer simply and that surprised Mike. "I'm not going to ask you if just haven't met the right person yet, because sexuality is up for the individual to figure out." Artie rambled to himself.
Artie didn't want to pressure Mike into anything, because Artie knew that it had been a struggle for him to figure things out, so he hoped that Mike would ask him. If not, Artie would bring it up, but he didn't want to.
"Would you help me?"
"How?" Artie asked.
"Um... I don't know... It was a dumb question." Mike looked down at his shoes. "I should really get to dance..." Mike turned around. "Thanks for--"
"STOP." Artie commanded.
"Would you like to go to Spencer's and maybe try a toy or two of mine or watch some porn?" Artie asked.
Mike's usually pale cheeks flushed. "Maybe."
"After school?" Artie asked.
Mike nodded.
--
Walking past the hats and the clothing, Mike looked around the store. His eyes glanced over a shirt with female body parts on it and Mike blushed and looked away.
Mike's heart pounded. He hoped that no one he knew would see him walk in.
His mom had 'eyes' or 'friends' everywhere.
"Mike!" Artie called, and Mike ducked his head, hoping that no one would see hi,. He sunk into his hoodie.
"They're in the back." Artie explained. "Come on!"
Mike's head continued to spin. Maybe it was because of the incense. He coughed and followed Artie.
"This," Artie pointed to a toy, "Is a..."
"WhatifTinawalksin?!" Mike mumbled.
"What?" Artie asked.
"This is Tina's favorite store!" Mike freaked out.
"I know."
"As I was saying," Artie pulled a toy off of a hook and the entire rack jingled.
Mike flinched. He had never seen a toy before. He thought that it was weird and gross. Sure, he was staring at it, but it was because he had never seen one before.
"I'm going to..." Mike back up, "Meet you out front." Mike dashed from the back of the store, towards the front.
As Mike was exiting, he nearly crashed into Tina.
"Mike! What are you doing here?!" Tina asked.
"I'm..." Mike paused to look for the words.
"He's helping me pick out a new hat," Artie dropped in smoothly.
"Yepp. Bro code." Mike added in, then rushed to the exit that lead into the mall.
--
A week later, Mike sat on a chair next to Artie, starring at a computer screen in Artie's bedroom.
"Since you freaked out at Spencer's, I think that we'll start with..."
Mike held his breathing.
"Fan fiction..."
"What?" Mike released his breath. "Like Livejournal? 'Cause my cousin moderates a Super Junior fan fiction and those Elf's freak me out."
"Soft porn fan fiction!" Artie exclaimed.
"Oh. Uhh... okay? What kind?"
"Show Choir fan fiction?!"
"How do you even know about fan fiction?" Mike asked.
"Uhh... Tina." Artie explained.
Mike nodded. "'Course."
"Hey, dude, Tina totally."
"I know, I know... chill!"
"Do you want to read it?" Artie asked, moving his wheel chair over so that Mike could see the screen.
"O... kay..."
A half an hour later, both boys were into the fan fiction.
"So let me get this straight. Hawk hooked up with Kara who is really Kart, but they made him a girl in this fan fiction?!"
"You didn't even notice that the fan fiction had some soft porn?" Artie asked.
Mike shrugged. "I skipped over it." he admitted.
--
Mike went home that night and opened the internet. His mom wouldn't be home from the store for another hour, his little sister was at after school care, and his dad was away on business, so he had the media room to himself for a while.
He couldn't remember the site that Artie had told him about... Avon? Avenues? What was it called? He gave up and Googled 'Asexual'. A few links down, he found the site. AVEN. He clicked on it then opened the message boards.
He looked around. Then closed the site. He couldn't do it.
He exited out of the window, then cleared his history. He couldn't be asexual.
--
"Next up... porn." Artie announced.
Mike's eyes widened.
"I don't."
"You said that you wanted to try watching some.
"I know, but..."
"Come on."
"Artie pressed 'play' and the video began.
Less than two minutes later, Mike rolled his eyes up so that he didn't have to watch, but he looked like he was.
"I gotta go... to the bathroom..." Mike got up and rushed out of the room.
Ten minutes later, he walked back into Artie's room.
"So... did you feel anything?" Artie asked.
"Besides for nausea?" Mike asked back.
--
Two weeks later, Mike got back from Football and Glee practice and she showered. The thought of sex hadn't crossed his mind in the past two weeks. He realized that it never did, and the more that he thought about it, it was on his mind a million times less than everyone else he knew. Sure, he went on dates with Tina, and they kissed, but he didn't think about it. He realized that he was finally, maybe, getting used to the idea of an intimate relationship. Maybe. Not really.
He couldn't help it.
He opened the internet browser and typed 'AVEN' into Google.
He clicked on the link, opened the message board, entered the forums, started a new topic, and began to tell his story... partially... he left out details.
--
Two days later, Mike opened up AVEN. He opened the message board and was surprised to see that several people had responded.
He was frustrated, though, to see how many people said, 'But it's up for you to decide for sure."
It frustrated him.
Why couldn't he just be turned on and sleep with every girl that he knew, like Puck?!
--
"You gotta tell Tina, Dude." Artie told Mike, as they walked into Glee club.
"Tell me what?" Tina asked, as she fixed the giant black bow that she had tied around he head.
"Uh... Nothing." Mike said, as Artie gave him a look.
--
Friday, Mike took Tina out to Dim Sum.
They shared a plate like they usually did, and Tina took a sip of Diet Coke.
"Uh... Tina?"
"What's wrong Mike? Do you not like me?" Tina asked.
"No, it's not that..." Mike trailed off.
"Then what is it?" Tina pleaded for an answer. "You've been distant for weeks and every time that I try to kiss you, you move away. Are you not... Happy?"
"No!" Mike exclaimed. "Yes..." he paused and let out a frustrated groan. "I don't know..."
Tina tossed down 10 dollars and stood up. She held out her hand. Mike looked at it and took it.
Mike tossed down some cash and followed Tina out onto the street.
The two began to walk, their fingers entwined. "Mike, what is it?" she paused. "You can talk to me... It's not that long ago that I didn't have things figured out... I still don't."
Mike's ears perked at Tina's words.
"Tina... I don't think that I ever want to have sex." He stated.
"Ever?" she asked.
Mike nodded his head.
"I don't understand. How could someone not want to have sex?"
Mike shrugged. "I guess I don't."
"I mean, I like guys. And sometimes girls... I think… I guess I'm bi..." she trailed off.
"And I guess I'm asexual."
--
"I mean, are you okay with not having sex- at least for now?" Mike asked his girlfriend.
"It'll be kind of hard, sure, but I'll do it for you." Tina took Mike's hand.
There was a moment of awkward silence.
"Are you still okay with kissing?" Tina asked, hesitating.
Mike took a moment to pause. He had been thinking about his answer, but he didn't know how he expected it to come out. "Yes... Asian kiss?" he asked.
He leaned forward and Tina leaned forward and they pecked each other's lips.
--
"Did you know that some asexuals don't mind having sex?" Mike asked. "I mean, some are okay if it's a friend, other's don't mind either way, and some have had sex for years until they realized that they didn't feel anything."
"Whoa." Tina looked up from the Glee costume that she was putting together.
"Yeah."
"I don't mean to rush you, but do you know where you stand?" Tina asked.
Mike shrugged.
"I'm still figuring it out as I go." he replied honestly. "I know that I'm a romantic, hetero- romantic, Ace. I'm still not definitively sure."
Tina took Mike's hand. "I don't want to push you to do any more than you're comfortable with, even though I have, um, needs. But I'm on some of the boards for friends, family members, and partners of asexuals, so I want to be with you... Okay?"
Mike looked up and smiled warmly. He couldn’t have asked for a more supportive girlfriend.
"Thanks... Asian kiss?"
A/N: So… uhhh… How do you think that this turn out? Thanks for reading!"Fi