The Mirror's Reflection (3/10)
Title: The Mirror's Reflection
Rating: NC-15
Pairing/Characters: Jongkey, SHINee
Genre: fictional, HS, AU
Chapter Word Count: 3,687
Summary: Kibum, a junior in high school, hadn't known just because he irrationally feared his enemy, he had lost a part of himself that everyone else could see. He always thought people were staring at him in awe or jealousy. But Kibum finding the truth makes him realize it's definitely not the way he thought it was. That's where Jonghyun came in. Jonghyun, the senior and partner in his English class, turned out to be more than just a seat partner, but more like a best friend at first. And it turned out Jonghyun was the one. The one who could see the mirror's reflection, unlike Kibum.
Chapter 3: Everything
February
It was a weekend, and Jonghyun was over, once again, watching Kibum writing down lyrics he was in charge of to the song they both worked on. It was only three in the afternoon and both were very quiet today. Jonghyun seemed rather fidgety, debating if he should open his mouth to say 'Kibum, let's go somewhere'.
Kibum didn't want to break concentration with small talk, though. But he couldn't help to break after taking a glance of Jonghyun's face as he was scratching light tunes on the guitar in silence. After thirty seconds, Kibum would find his inspiration and start writing again
A light knock was heard from the open door as Kibum's mother came inside with a gentle smile, "Jonghyun, your mother said she couldn't reach you on your phone. She's on the line now and wants a word," she gestured out the door.
Jonghyun smiled at mention of his mother and sat down his baby. He told Kibum he'd be back in a moment and stepped out of his room, Kibum's mother following behind.
In the living room was the phone, he picked it up, expecting the phone-line's time to be counting, but instead nothing was there except the time of day.
"Jonghyun-ah," Kibum’s mother called right behind him, lowering the phone from his hand, "Your mother didn't call. Sorry. I just needed a disguise to talk to you while Kibum's in his zone."
With confusion clear on his face, he shook his head as if he understood.
She gestured for him to sit on the couch as she grabbed an old-looking black binder from the coffee table. She sat next to him and looked him straight in the eyes. He could see the seriousness in her eyes and knew that this subject was most likely something touchy.
"I'm going to share something with you that no one . . . specifically knows about my Bummie," she pursed her lips, a thumb about to open her binder, "You know my baby isn't . . . healthy looking."
Jonghyun stared at her and only nodded. Of course he noticed Kibum's rather unhealthy appearance. He didn't mind. Not even that first moment. The first moment was concern. While everyone else was just . . . He wasn't even sure of. But because of his attitude, it wasn't too good.
To Jonghyun, Kibum was very attractive. Attractive as in his type.
"I'm going to tell you why he's this way, Jonghyun-ah," she nodded thoughtfully, flipping her binder open.
There on the first page was Kibum as a normal baby in her arms. His eyes were crescents and his mouth was a tiny scrunch of a smile. Jonghyun couldn't help but to feel the little flutter in his heart.
The next page was different. The baby had seemed to grow larger in his facial features and fatter in body. Jonghyun thought it was adorable.
"Kibum was extremely mature and a very chubby child from baby to seven. It came from his dad's side and it was promised to go away as he got older," a few pages flipped, "I took him to the furniture store once, looking for drapes for his room. I thought 'Oh, Bummie never really saw himself in a mirror' and thought that maybe my baby would like to see what he looks like.
"I took him to the aisle and let him roam. But his eyes stayed on me," she lightly chuckled, "I had to almost force him to look at himself.
"When he looked . . . he started crying."
Jonghyun listened as he stared at the pages. Kibum's face never smiled. No trace of happiness.
"He . . . kept screaming that he was a monster or a monster ate him and he's stuck inside. That he wasn't a chubby baby, but something . . . I swore I'd never let him watch TV because he called himself a mutant. He screamed and screamed and cried. He pried at his skin to make it go away . . . My baby . . . it was awful, Jonghyun-ah," her brows furrowed, "I researched what was wrong-I found a phobia list. It turned out because of what Bummie saw, he became Eisoptrophobic-The fear of seeing his reflection in mirrors . . ." she fingered a picture labeled 'Kibum, age six' with the boy laying in his bed with an unknown woman next to him, "Bummie was seriously too mature in his brain for his age. He was so dead-set on him not being able to shed his . . . ugliness
"Bummie stopped eating when he was five. Neither his father nor I could get him to take in anything no matter how much we tried. And he opposed to having some stranger feed him. But we had to. If my baby didn't eat, he was going to die too young. So, we got a professional involved. He had to stay in the hospital for a bit just to determine how serious this problem was. But he didn't want to stay, so we didn't make him. A professional came to our home everyday to force feed Bummie. And he . . . hated it so much. He yelled and screamed at us for years. But, Jonghyun-ah, it was the only way!" She gave him the binder, unable to hold it any longer.
Jonghyun stared at her as the touchy subject was let loose. It had to be the first time she told; the redness in her eyes told it all. He watched as her fingers traced the lower rims of her eyes, hiding her face.
So, Kibum is really sick, Jonghyun's thought could be heard. His finger pressed on the page as he knew what he wanted to do.
To help.
"After years, the toddler professionals stopped coming due to age. The thing is . . . my baby took it as retirement from eating. We couldn't force him again and completely opposed to help. He ran away or locked his door and screamed when we brought in another professional. We . . . I, as a bad parent, stopped it all. I let Kibummie have his way. The older he got, the more of a liar he became. He said he'd eaten at school and whatever, but I know he isn't. He never has and I know you know it. He's told you he ate too much during class, hasn't he?"
Only a nod was offered.
"Exactly."
Her hands pulled her hair back and looked at Jonghyun in the eyes, "Jonghyun-ah," she called for him, hope on her face as her hand found his muscle arm, "Ever since you've come over, Bummie is eating. He's so much happier and he's just . . . eating. But . . . it's only when you come over. You found it odd that I offered you to stay over so often, right? Right. But . . . I just needed my baby to start all over again the right way, and you've done that for me. I used you selfishly, and I'm sorry, but, you're the only hope I have left."
Jonghyun looked from the book and at Kibum's mother back and forth until he settled his sight on her. The sorrow in her eyes literally tore him up. He didn't think it was . . . this bad.
"I know it's not my place to say, but my baby likes you lot, Jonghyun-ah," she stared, "And you're basically the only thing he'll succumb to. Jonghyun-ah . . . Do you like my baby as much as he . . .” she lowered her voice, “Wishes you would?"
His puppy eyes widened and silently stuttered with his words until he could just make out his nod.
Finally, she smiled and patted his arm, "Good. Let him know. Then . . . You can really save my baby, Jonghyun-ah."
She took the book and put it away, telling him he should return to Kibum, who must be so curious by now.
As Jonghyun walked off, he could hear, "Thank you," behind him.
Kibum saw Jonghyun return and his face lit up. He was finally finished, "Jjongie! I finally finished the chorus! 'Love forever and last forever, even if I put in my whole heart, you are something I can't grab, but I still like you, and I still really love you. . . Love needs to go on like this.' Ah, finally!"
Jonghyun smiled as Kibum recited the finally finished part of the lyrics and shook his head, "It took you ten minutes to-"
quot;AN HOUR!"
quot;Okay, an-Really?"
Kibum scrunched his mouth and narrowed his eyes, "Shut up,dino."
Jonghyun instantly groaned as he picked up his guitar, putting it in the case, "You've seriously been talking to Onew and Minho again, haven't you?"
"No . . ."
Jonghyun raised an eyebrow.
"Maybe . . ."
He groaned again.
Kibum chuckled in amusement and put down the paper, eying as to why the guitar was being put back, "What're you doing?"
Jonghyun finally smiled at him and pulling the case over his shoulder, which was now clothed in a winter jacket, "Get your jacket. We're going out."
Kibum, thoroughly lost, got up and grabbed his coat. As he zipped, Jonghyun took his hand and sped them out of the house.
It was cold and Kibum didn't want to be outside, at the moment. His jacket wasn't fully on!
Jonghyun drove out of the neighborhood and Kibum was getting more suspicious as the route seemed to be leading them to school.
"Jjong?"
The older one chuckled as he pulled into the school's empty parking lot. Without a word, he got his guitar from the back and got out of the car. Without waiting for anything, Kibum got out and shut the door, still not understanding.
Jonghyun laughed and grabbed Kibum's hand, running to the back.
Kibum was trying to put the pieces together and he would've in an instant. But right now, he was being so rushed that his thoughts were all in a pot and each idea was jumbling with another and it turned up to be a train-wreck mess of confusion.
Jonghyun finally stopped running and Kibum realized they were at the track's bleachers.
Odd. It's winter-it's freezing-And Jonghyun brings him out here?
"What're you doing?" Kibum repeats.
His smile silenced Kibum as he jerked his head to sit down as he did on the first seat. With brows furrowed, Kibum sat next to him, sort of at distance due to him bringing out his guitar.
Jonghyun sniffed and got himself comfortable in front of Kibum and gave him another toothy smile, "Well, I had no other way to say this-this being our fourth or fifth-ish, month."
Kibum's eyes widened as his brain finally came up to pace with his words.
Oh god. Oh my god. Holy crap.
Jonghyun closed his eyes and gripped his pick. Softly, the strings strummed together in a pretty chord. Kibum watched as the puppy bit his bottom lip and rocked a little.
He reiterated the same part over and over again, a smile trying to escape his bitten lips.
Kibum's mouth opened and stared at what he was listening to. It sounded completely passionate and full of feeling. Not that any of Jonghyun's pieces weren't before, but this . . . this was something so . . . different. He watched his fingers lightly crawl up his baby's neck and the pick gently brush against her vocal chords. The delicate sounds were loud enough in this silent area and Kibum's ears were ringing.
Kibum swayed as he clasped his mitten hands together, bringing them up over his heart. It was melting. Truly melting.
When the music got quiet, Jonghyun took a deep breath in.
Kibum's mouth nearly dropped as he realized he was going to sing.
His lips,
Eyes,
His beauty to mesmerize,
His walk to me every day,
It's literally driving me out of sane.
The watcher stared as the voice melded into the instruments notes flawlessly. It plunged an arrow in Kibum's heart and he felt dizzy in this cold just listening. The affection and feelings in his voice were paining Kibum. He wanted to reach out, to hold him, to do something. But this music . . . he selfishly couldn't stop it.
His high pitched voice and his laugh,
I can't stop myself from holding back,
Is this the price for seeing?
The price I'm willing to pay?
Kibum was ready to cry. This song was about him, for sure. And no other song would ever have the same lyric or the same melody. It was his for keep. It was his to listen to over and over. Just knowing Jonghyun had to have worked on this blew his mind out of the water. With the lyric, his voice, and his baby combined, he's got a celebrity in front of him who's confessing wholeheartedly
Selfishness can compare to the feeling,
I do everything just to make you smile,
But everyday of being with you make me feel less... shame.
Kibum's hands clutched together as this big suspense built
Mr. Kim Ki . . . Bum,
The light that I need ... to live this life,
When you’re low and sad, I'll . . . be there with my arms ready to hold . . . you,
Be . . . fore you know it, my . . . body will be-
Protecting you from day to day,
If you say you love me and let me,
Love may be a weakness to others,
But love will . . . not be your burden.
He repeated the last of the music once more.
"I will love . . . you," Jonghyun’s face slightly scrunched up as if in embarrassment.
With the final stroke, everything stopped but the wind.
Jonghyun slowly opened his eyes with an aura of hope. Immediately, he put down the guitar and scooted close to Kibum quickly, his hands pulling to just below his eyes with gentle strokes of his thumbs, "Bummie, why are you crying?"
Kibum had realized there really was moisture in his eyes. They didn't even blur Jonghyun's appearance, and thank goodness they hadn't. His face was so close to his and he liked it too much for friendship.
He sniffled, finally taking in he was crying and put his mittens over Jonghyun's hands, trying to catch the tears overtop of the hands. He blinked multiple times in less than ten seconds and finally uttered out a short and quiet sob.
The song was just so beautiful and meaningful that it was killing Kibum's heart. Jonghyun confessed to him. Really confessed to him; no joke. He was so happy. So happy that happy wasn't even close to the word nor any word in the dictionary could put it.
"Bummie," Jonghyun gently chuckled as the younger's face blanked out like an adorable child, "Kibummie, why are you crying?"
Kibum awkwardly huffed out a short laugh and held on to Jonghyun's hands against his face, looking up at him
How beautiful his face truly was. Glowing of color. His eyes so large and so innocent in dark brown. Puppy. He remembers why he calls him a puppy.
His hands, so warm and so soft for a man. He expected the warmth, but not the soft; something more rugged.
"Jonghyun," he stared at him, voice cracking, "Jonghyun, you really made that?"
The older cracked a smile and let himself get closer, "Of course. I . . . hope it was okay. I mean, I thought it was pretty bad-"
Kibum clearly stopped listening once he spoke and hugged him, burying his face in his neck. He clutched on to Jonghyun as he was on the edge of screaming his joy. How he seemed to fit so perfectly in Jonghyun's arms so naturally was beyond him, but really, he could care less. He's in his arms now and that's all that mattered.
He felt so good to be embraced by him. His muscles surrounding his skinny figure, hiding him from anyone else. True ease.
Kibum's lips trembled as he felt Jonghyun's lips pecking at his neck softly and clutched him even tighter. He felt his exhale on his neck and Kibum instantly closed his eyes.
He loved love.
Jonghyun's love.
It was everything.
Even above his heavy jacket, he could feel Jonghyun's hands slid down to his hips, pressuring them to hold him in place.
"Kibummie, I seriously can't get you out of my mind and I have no intention to try. I swear," he breathed into the freaking younger's ear before kissing it, "I want something, and I’m willing to be selfish for it. I want . . .”
Kibum chuckled as he pulled back. There was so much excitement and hope in Jonghyun's eyes that everything hurt to just separate from him. His hands pulled to his neck and wanted to lean in.
. . . But he didn't know how to approach it.
He's never done this before . . .
He so badly wanted to full on out kiss his puppy on the lips with more than all he had to give, but he just didn't know how.
Jonghyun stared into his wide eyes, his hands finding their way to his shoulders. He blinked slowly and watched the frozen Kibum until he finally spoke, "Kibum . . . Can I . . . Kiss . . . Y-you?"
The boy's mind took a dizzying three-sixty as he heard what came out of Jonghyun's mouth. He really asked him. He really asked to kiss him. To make it official. To seal the deal
"Y-yes."
Jonghyun didn't even hesitate as he closed his eyes and slowly slid forward to reach Kibum.
As soon as warmth pounced on Kibum's lips, he realized that this was really happening.
Jonghyun was being shy. He didn't move; just let his lips press upon him. Kibum closed his eyes slowly as his arms surrounded the puppy's neck and pulled him closer to his face in want. He liked it. He liked it a lot.
There wasn't just energy building up inside Kibum as Jonghyun daringly pushed against him, but there was something that he could quite name crawling up his throat. It was good, nonetheless, but he felt he could throw it up and all over without giving a shit. It was so . . Euphoric.
There.
That's the word.
Just a simple kiss. And it was euphoric.
And please, Kibum would internally beg don't pull away from me.
Jonghyun's hands slowly slid up to take hold of Kibum's face and pulled away, his dark and puppy eyes with the flashiest glint of bliss.
The boy didn't stop blinking, feeling a little disappointment due to the half-finished-first-kiss. Really, he wasn't done. He hadn't even gotten to pour out everything . . .
"Kibummie," Jonghyun whispered with a smile, "I love you. More than I do the guitar."
He let out a breathy chuckle and moved his hands through his hair, "I love you more than I love myself, pups."
And with that, Kibum decided to pull him back in for the rest of their kiss. He pushed himself closer and closer and let everything come flying out against Jonghyun. It may have been overwhelming to the poor puppy, but he felt arms surround him and crush him close as a response.
He moved his lips, even opened them slightly at times, to show that he really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really loved Jonghyun after a four month period. It's felt like such a damn miracle.
Jonghyun breathed on his lips and it drove Kibum on edge of literally combusting of exhilaration to no end. Let him fly. Give him his goddamn wings and let him soar.
Kibum swore he could faint to how moist the other pair of lips even in this awfully cold weather, where his were most likely chapped.
Oh, so perfect.
Hands held his shoulder from behind as Kibum sighed, literally almost continuing his crying. A man-a good man. A song. A fantastic pair of lips.
Nothing could possibly be missing.
The feelings that had been so strong had lightened up as Kibum pulled away with a starry-gaze at Jonghyun, hoping he wasn't a horrible kisser.
His face said it all.
"Kibummie," he breathed, hugging him closely and speaking on his neck, "I'm gonna be there for you. I'm gonna be here. Please, stop crying."
And Kibum felt the wetness on his cheeks as he buried his face at the crook of the neck, body shaking in such joy and relief. His Jonghyun was willing to love him and even comfort him for the stupidest and happiest things. That's all he needs. He'll leave his stuck-up ego behind. He'll let it crash and become a much softer person.
All because of Jonghyun.
"J-Jonghyun," he finally gasped as his body gave a violent shake, "... T-thank you."
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.
"Stop crying," He laughed and rubbed the heavily clothed back, "Stop crying, Kibummie."
"The song is so beautiful . . . A-and you," he shook his head, "You're so . . . amazingly perfect that this is too . . . I don't even know. I don't want to let go of you, Kim Jonghyun."
Jonghyun forcefully pulled back and wiped the tears, cupping his face in his hands, "You are absolutely perfect, Kibum. Everything. I'm not going to let you stop holding me," he smiled and pecked his forehead, nose, cheeks, all the way to his lips, "Never let go. Ever."
Kibum nodded and let a watery smile slip in as Jonghyun pecked him again and so deeply looked into his eyes.
"H-hey, Jonghyun?”
"Yeah?"
"C-can . . . you play it again?"
Jonghyun bit his bottom lips with a smile and pulled back, grabbing his guitar, already strumming,
"Only if it'll earn me another kiss."
----Note~----
'Evening.
I said yesterday I might update again, and so here I am... updating. xD
I really felt like I left off on an incomplete chapter, so I'm adding this one, and you'll have to wait for Tuesday now. c:
How was this one?
Fluffily cliche much? xD
This is one of my favorite chapters, tbh. It's so far from reality, but that's what's so good about being dreamy.
Dear god, I SWEAR I'm not a mushy person. OTL
Just to make this clear, I realized in my past notes, I sound really unconfident and attention-seeking for my writing. Like, dear lord, I don't mean to sound that way. I'm always confident about my writing or else I wouldn't post it. I just hope people like it even though I really don't need readers; just as long as I get to post my writing.
So, this is what I meant in the last chapter about the months. A certain even happens in a designated month, if you can now see. And this fic goes pretty fast; technically I wouldn't call it a fic but more of a series of oneshots.
Off topic.
Has anyone seen Rain Sound or Mine? AREN'T THEY SO GOOD? LIKE. ASDFGHFDSADFGHFDSA.
I BOUGHT RAIN SOUND. NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR MINE. >.>
No more rambling on, now.
To Livejournal. HAPPY DOUBLE UPDATE? Idek.
See you Tuesday, or talk to me on tumblr. c:
~FlaMinhoe/Piplupz
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Rating: NC-15
Pairing/Characters: Jongkey, SHINee
Genre: fictional, HS, AU
Chapter Word Count: 3,687
Summary: Kibum, a junior in high school, hadn't known just because he irrationally feared his enemy, he had lost a part of himself that everyone else could see. He always thought people were staring at him in awe or jealousy. But Kibum finding the truth makes him realize it's definitely not the way he thought it was. That's where Jonghyun came in. Jonghyun, the senior and partner in his English class, turned out to be more than just a seat partner, but more like a best friend at first. And it turned out Jonghyun was the one. The one who could see the mirror's reflection, unlike Kibum.
Chapter 3: Everything
February
It was a weekend, and Jonghyun was over, once again, watching Kibum writing down lyrics he was in charge of to the song they both worked on. It was only three in the afternoon and both were very quiet today. Jonghyun seemed rather fidgety, debating if he should open his mouth to say 'Kibum, let's go somewhere'.
Kibum didn't want to break concentration with small talk, though. But he couldn't help to break after taking a glance of Jonghyun's face as he was scratching light tunes on the guitar in silence. After thirty seconds, Kibum would find his inspiration and start writing again
A light knock was heard from the open door as Kibum's mother came inside with a gentle smile, "Jonghyun, your mother said she couldn't reach you on your phone. She's on the line now and wants a word," she gestured out the door.
Jonghyun smiled at mention of his mother and sat down his baby. He told Kibum he'd be back in a moment and stepped out of his room, Kibum's mother following behind.
In the living room was the phone, he picked it up, expecting the phone-line's time to be counting, but instead nothing was there except the time of day.
"Jonghyun-ah," Kibum’s mother called right behind him, lowering the phone from his hand, "Your mother didn't call. Sorry. I just needed a disguise to talk to you while Kibum's in his zone."
With confusion clear on his face, he shook his head as if he understood.
She gestured for him to sit on the couch as she grabbed an old-looking black binder from the coffee table. She sat next to him and looked him straight in the eyes. He could see the seriousness in her eyes and knew that this subject was most likely something touchy.
"I'm going to share something with you that no one . . . specifically knows about my Bummie," she pursed her lips, a thumb about to open her binder, "You know my baby isn't . . . healthy looking."
Jonghyun stared at her and only nodded. Of course he noticed Kibum's rather unhealthy appearance. He didn't mind. Not even that first moment. The first moment was concern. While everyone else was just . . . He wasn't even sure of. But because of his attitude, it wasn't too good.
To Jonghyun, Kibum was very attractive. Attractive as in his type.
"I'm going to tell you why he's this way, Jonghyun-ah," she nodded thoughtfully, flipping her binder open.
There on the first page was Kibum as a normal baby in her arms. His eyes were crescents and his mouth was a tiny scrunch of a smile. Jonghyun couldn't help but to feel the little flutter in his heart.
The next page was different. The baby had seemed to grow larger in his facial features and fatter in body. Jonghyun thought it was adorable.
"Kibum was extremely mature and a very chubby child from baby to seven. It came from his dad's side and it was promised to go away as he got older," a few pages flipped, "I took him to the furniture store once, looking for drapes for his room. I thought 'Oh, Bummie never really saw himself in a mirror' and thought that maybe my baby would like to see what he looks like.
"I took him to the aisle and let him roam. But his eyes stayed on me," she lightly chuckled, "I had to almost force him to look at himself.
"When he looked . . . he started crying."
Jonghyun listened as he stared at the pages. Kibum's face never smiled. No trace of happiness.
"He . . . kept screaming that he was a monster or a monster ate him and he's stuck inside. That he wasn't a chubby baby, but something . . . I swore I'd never let him watch TV because he called himself a mutant. He screamed and screamed and cried. He pried at his skin to make it go away . . . My baby . . . it was awful, Jonghyun-ah," her brows furrowed, "I researched what was wrong-I found a phobia list. It turned out because of what Bummie saw, he became Eisoptrophobic-The fear of seeing his reflection in mirrors . . ." she fingered a picture labeled 'Kibum, age six' with the boy laying in his bed with an unknown woman next to him, "Bummie was seriously too mature in his brain for his age. He was so dead-set on him not being able to shed his . . . ugliness
"Bummie stopped eating when he was five. Neither his father nor I could get him to take in anything no matter how much we tried. And he opposed to having some stranger feed him. But we had to. If my baby didn't eat, he was going to die too young. So, we got a professional involved. He had to stay in the hospital for a bit just to determine how serious this problem was. But he didn't want to stay, so we didn't make him. A professional came to our home everyday to force feed Bummie. And he . . . hated it so much. He yelled and screamed at us for years. But, Jonghyun-ah, it was the only way!" She gave him the binder, unable to hold it any longer.
Jonghyun stared at her as the touchy subject was let loose. It had to be the first time she told; the redness in her eyes told it all. He watched as her fingers traced the lower rims of her eyes, hiding her face.
So, Kibum is really sick, Jonghyun's thought could be heard. His finger pressed on the page as he knew what he wanted to do.
To help.
"After years, the toddler professionals stopped coming due to age. The thing is . . . my baby took it as retirement from eating. We couldn't force him again and completely opposed to help. He ran away or locked his door and screamed when we brought in another professional. We . . . I, as a bad parent, stopped it all. I let Kibummie have his way. The older he got, the more of a liar he became. He said he'd eaten at school and whatever, but I know he isn't. He never has and I know you know it. He's told you he ate too much during class, hasn't he?"
Only a nod was offered.
"Exactly."
Her hands pulled her hair back and looked at Jonghyun in the eyes, "Jonghyun-ah," she called for him, hope on her face as her hand found his muscle arm, "Ever since you've come over, Bummie is eating. He's so much happier and he's just . . . eating. But . . . it's only when you come over. You found it odd that I offered you to stay over so often, right? Right. But . . . I just needed my baby to start all over again the right way, and you've done that for me. I used you selfishly, and I'm sorry, but, you're the only hope I have left."
Jonghyun looked from the book and at Kibum's mother back and forth until he settled his sight on her. The sorrow in her eyes literally tore him up. He didn't think it was . . . this bad.
"I know it's not my place to say, but my baby likes you lot, Jonghyun-ah," she stared, "And you're basically the only thing he'll succumb to. Jonghyun-ah . . . Do you like my baby as much as he . . .” she lowered her voice, “Wishes you would?"
His puppy eyes widened and silently stuttered with his words until he could just make out his nod.
Finally, she smiled and patted his arm, "Good. Let him know. Then . . . You can really save my baby, Jonghyun-ah."
She took the book and put it away, telling him he should return to Kibum, who must be so curious by now.
As Jonghyun walked off, he could hear, "Thank you," behind him.
Kibum saw Jonghyun return and his face lit up. He was finally finished, "Jjongie! I finally finished the chorus! 'Love forever and last forever, even if I put in my whole heart, you are something I can't grab, but I still like you, and I still really love you. . . Love needs to go on like this.' Ah, finally!"
Jonghyun smiled as Kibum recited the finally finished part of the lyrics and shook his head, "It took you ten minutes to-"
quot;AN HOUR!"
quot;Okay, an-Really?"
Kibum scrunched his mouth and narrowed his eyes, "Shut up,dino."
Jonghyun instantly groaned as he picked up his guitar, putting it in the case, "You've seriously been talking to Onew and Minho again, haven't you?"
"No . . ."
Jonghyun raised an eyebrow.
"Maybe . . ."
He groaned again.
Kibum chuckled in amusement and put down the paper, eying as to why the guitar was being put back, "What're you doing?"
Jonghyun finally smiled at him and pulling the case over his shoulder, which was now clothed in a winter jacket, "Get your jacket. We're going out."
Kibum, thoroughly lost, got up and grabbed his coat. As he zipped, Jonghyun took his hand and sped them out of the house.
It was cold and Kibum didn't want to be outside, at the moment. His jacket wasn't fully on!
Jonghyun drove out of the neighborhood and Kibum was getting more suspicious as the route seemed to be leading them to school.
"Jjong?"
The older one chuckled as he pulled into the school's empty parking lot. Without a word, he got his guitar from the back and got out of the car. Without waiting for anything, Kibum got out and shut the door, still not understanding.
Jonghyun laughed and grabbed Kibum's hand, running to the back.
Kibum was trying to put the pieces together and he would've in an instant. But right now, he was being so rushed that his thoughts were all in a pot and each idea was jumbling with another and it turned up to be a train-wreck mess of confusion.
Jonghyun finally stopped running and Kibum realized they were at the track's bleachers.
Odd. It's winter-it's freezing-And Jonghyun brings him out here?
"What're you doing?" Kibum repeats.
His smile silenced Kibum as he jerked his head to sit down as he did on the first seat. With brows furrowed, Kibum sat next to him, sort of at distance due to him bringing out his guitar.
Jonghyun sniffed and got himself comfortable in front of Kibum and gave him another toothy smile, "Well, I had no other way to say this-this being our fourth or fifth-ish, month."
Kibum's eyes widened as his brain finally came up to pace with his words.
Oh god. Oh my god. Holy crap.
Jonghyun closed his eyes and gripped his pick. Softly, the strings strummed together in a pretty chord. Kibum watched as the puppy bit his bottom lip and rocked a little.
He reiterated the same part over and over again, a smile trying to escape his bitten lips.
Kibum's mouth opened and stared at what he was listening to. It sounded completely passionate and full of feeling. Not that any of Jonghyun's pieces weren't before, but this . . . this was something so . . . different. He watched his fingers lightly crawl up his baby's neck and the pick gently brush against her vocal chords. The delicate sounds were loud enough in this silent area and Kibum's ears were ringing.
Kibum swayed as he clasped his mitten hands together, bringing them up over his heart. It was melting. Truly melting.
When the music got quiet, Jonghyun took a deep breath in.
Kibum's mouth nearly dropped as he realized he was going to sing.
His lips,
Eyes,
His beauty to mesmerize,
His walk to me every day,
It's literally driving me out of sane.
The watcher stared as the voice melded into the instruments notes flawlessly. It plunged an arrow in Kibum's heart and he felt dizzy in this cold just listening. The affection and feelings in his voice were paining Kibum. He wanted to reach out, to hold him, to do something. But this music . . . he selfishly couldn't stop it.
His high pitched voice and his laugh,
I can't stop myself from holding back,
Is this the price for seeing?
The price I'm willing to pay?
Kibum was ready to cry. This song was about him, for sure. And no other song would ever have the same lyric or the same melody. It was his for keep. It was his to listen to over and over. Just knowing Jonghyun had to have worked on this blew his mind out of the water. With the lyric, his voice, and his baby combined, he's got a celebrity in front of him who's confessing wholeheartedly
Selfishness can compare to the feeling,
I do everything just to make you smile,
But everyday of being with you make me feel less... shame.
Kibum's hands clutched together as this big suspense built
Mr. Kim Ki . . . Bum,
The light that I need ... to live this life,
When you’re low and sad, I'll . . . be there with my arms ready to hold . . . you,
Be . . . fore you know it, my . . . body will be-
Protecting you from day to day,
If you say you love me and let me,
Love may be a weakness to others,
But love will . . . not be your burden.
He repeated the last of the music once more.
"I will love . . . you," Jonghyun’s face slightly scrunched up as if in embarrassment.
With the final stroke, everything stopped but the wind.
Jonghyun slowly opened his eyes with an aura of hope. Immediately, he put down the guitar and scooted close to Kibum quickly, his hands pulling to just below his eyes with gentle strokes of his thumbs, "Bummie, why are you crying?"
Kibum had realized there really was moisture in his eyes. They didn't even blur Jonghyun's appearance, and thank goodness they hadn't. His face was so close to his and he liked it too much for friendship.
He sniffled, finally taking in he was crying and put his mittens over Jonghyun's hands, trying to catch the tears overtop of the hands. He blinked multiple times in less than ten seconds and finally uttered out a short and quiet sob.
The song was just so beautiful and meaningful that it was killing Kibum's heart. Jonghyun confessed to him. Really confessed to him; no joke. He was so happy. So happy that happy wasn't even close to the word nor any word in the dictionary could put it.
"Bummie," Jonghyun gently chuckled as the younger's face blanked out like an adorable child, "Kibummie, why are you crying?"
Kibum awkwardly huffed out a short laugh and held on to Jonghyun's hands against his face, looking up at him
How beautiful his face truly was. Glowing of color. His eyes so large and so innocent in dark brown. Puppy. He remembers why he calls him a puppy.
His hands, so warm and so soft for a man. He expected the warmth, but not the soft; something more rugged.
"Jonghyun," he stared at him, voice cracking, "Jonghyun, you really made that?"
The older cracked a smile and let himself get closer, "Of course. I . . . hope it was okay. I mean, I thought it was pretty bad-"
Kibum clearly stopped listening once he spoke and hugged him, burying his face in his neck. He clutched on to Jonghyun as he was on the edge of screaming his joy. How he seemed to fit so perfectly in Jonghyun's arms so naturally was beyond him, but really, he could care less. He's in his arms now and that's all that mattered.
He felt so good to be embraced by him. His muscles surrounding his skinny figure, hiding him from anyone else. True ease.
Kibum's lips trembled as he felt Jonghyun's lips pecking at his neck softly and clutched him even tighter. He felt his exhale on his neck and Kibum instantly closed his eyes.
He loved love.
Jonghyun's love.
It was everything.
Even above his heavy jacket, he could feel Jonghyun's hands slid down to his hips, pressuring them to hold him in place.
"Kibummie, I seriously can't get you out of my mind and I have no intention to try. I swear," he breathed into the freaking younger's ear before kissing it, "I want something, and I’m willing to be selfish for it. I want . . .”
Kibum chuckled as he pulled back. There was so much excitement and hope in Jonghyun's eyes that everything hurt to just separate from him. His hands pulled to his neck and wanted to lean in.
. . . But he didn't know how to approach it.
He's never done this before . . .
He so badly wanted to full on out kiss his puppy on the lips with more than all he had to give, but he just didn't know how.
Jonghyun stared into his wide eyes, his hands finding their way to his shoulders. He blinked slowly and watched the frozen Kibum until he finally spoke, "Kibum . . . Can I . . . Kiss . . . Y-you?"
The boy's mind took a dizzying three-sixty as he heard what came out of Jonghyun's mouth. He really asked him. He really asked to kiss him. To make it official. To seal the deal
"Y-yes."
Jonghyun didn't even hesitate as he closed his eyes and slowly slid forward to reach Kibum.
As soon as warmth pounced on Kibum's lips, he realized that this was really happening.
Jonghyun was being shy. He didn't move; just let his lips press upon him. Kibum closed his eyes slowly as his arms surrounded the puppy's neck and pulled him closer to his face in want. He liked it. He liked it a lot.
There wasn't just energy building up inside Kibum as Jonghyun daringly pushed against him, but there was something that he could quite name crawling up his throat. It was good, nonetheless, but he felt he could throw it up and all over without giving a shit. It was so . . Euphoric.
There.
That's the word.
Just a simple kiss. And it was euphoric.
And please, Kibum would internally beg don't pull away from me.
Jonghyun's hands slowly slid up to take hold of Kibum's face and pulled away, his dark and puppy eyes with the flashiest glint of bliss.
The boy didn't stop blinking, feeling a little disappointment due to the half-finished-first-kiss. Really, he wasn't done. He hadn't even gotten to pour out everything . . .
"Kibummie," Jonghyun whispered with a smile, "I love you. More than I do the guitar."
He let out a breathy chuckle and moved his hands through his hair, "I love you more than I love myself, pups."
And with that, Kibum decided to pull him back in for the rest of their kiss. He pushed himself closer and closer and let everything come flying out against Jonghyun. It may have been overwhelming to the poor puppy, but he felt arms surround him and crush him close as a response.
He moved his lips, even opened them slightly at times, to show that he really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really loved Jonghyun after a four month period. It's felt like such a damn miracle.
Jonghyun breathed on his lips and it drove Kibum on edge of literally combusting of exhilaration to no end. Let him fly. Give him his goddamn wings and let him soar.
Kibum swore he could faint to how moist the other pair of lips even in this awfully cold weather, where his were most likely chapped.
Oh, so perfect.
Hands held his shoulder from behind as Kibum sighed, literally almost continuing his crying. A man-a good man. A song. A fantastic pair of lips.
Nothing could possibly be missing.
The feelings that had been so strong had lightened up as Kibum pulled away with a starry-gaze at Jonghyun, hoping he wasn't a horrible kisser.
His face said it all.
"Kibummie," he breathed, hugging him closely and speaking on his neck, "I'm gonna be there for you. I'm gonna be here. Please, stop crying."
And Kibum felt the wetness on his cheeks as he buried his face at the crook of the neck, body shaking in such joy and relief. His Jonghyun was willing to love him and even comfort him for the stupidest and happiest things. That's all he needs. He'll leave his stuck-up ego behind. He'll let it crash and become a much softer person.
All because of Jonghyun.
"J-Jonghyun," he finally gasped as his body gave a violent shake, "... T-thank you."
Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.
"Stop crying," He laughed and rubbed the heavily clothed back, "Stop crying, Kibummie."
"The song is so beautiful . . . A-and you," he shook his head, "You're so . . . amazingly perfect that this is too . . . I don't even know. I don't want to let go of you, Kim Jonghyun."
Jonghyun forcefully pulled back and wiped the tears, cupping his face in his hands, "You are absolutely perfect, Kibum. Everything. I'm not going to let you stop holding me," he smiled and pecked his forehead, nose, cheeks, all the way to his lips, "Never let go. Ever."
Kibum nodded and let a watery smile slip in as Jonghyun pecked him again and so deeply looked into his eyes.
"H-hey, Jonghyun?”
"Yeah?"
"C-can . . . you play it again?"
Jonghyun bit his bottom lips with a smile and pulled back, grabbing his guitar, already strumming,
"Only if it'll earn me another kiss."
----Note~----
'Evening.
I said yesterday I might update again, and so here I am... updating. xD
I really felt like I left off on an incomplete chapter, so I'm adding this one, and you'll have to wait for Tuesday now. c:
How was this one?
Fluffily cliche much? xD
This is one of my favorite chapters, tbh. It's so far from reality, but that's what's so good about being dreamy.
Dear god, I SWEAR I'm not a mushy person. OTL
Just to make this clear, I realized in my past notes, I sound really unconfident and attention-seeking for my writing. Like, dear lord, I don't mean to sound that way. I'm always confident about my writing or else I wouldn't post it. I just hope people like it even though I really don't need readers; just as long as I get to post my writing.
So, this is what I meant in the last chapter about the months. A certain even happens in a designated month, if you can now see. And this fic goes pretty fast; technically I wouldn't call it a fic but more of a series of oneshots.
Off topic.
Has anyone seen Rain Sound or Mine? AREN'T THEY SO GOOD? LIKE. ASDFGHFDSADFGHFDSA.
I BOUGHT RAIN SOUND. NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR MINE. >.>
No more rambling on, now.
To Livejournal. HAPPY DOUBLE UPDATE? Idek.
See you Tuesday, or talk to me on tumblr. c:
~FlaMinhoe/Piplupz
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