Have it be real for you in your life, as the kid says in the clip.
Got all thirteen episodes of God, The Devil, and Bob. I thought my interlibrary loan this week was gonna be another in the Lucifer graphic novel series, but it was that TV show, which some of you might have seen clips of last month here or on You Tube looking for that god and devil show. That's how I found God The Devil, and Bob by accident. It's so fun. I was very glad to get an email from Bruce. I can't believe i didn't think of just googling him. Found a likely job webaddress in a likely location and then saw one of their newsletters online,and there was a picture of the one and only Brucey. Having fun with the lucky folks he works with there.
Feeling ; bettier in the last week or ten days than I have in a while, totally like myself again, so whatever was going on after mid-february, maybe really was stress, overdoing it on the cardioglide (aka the scrogger), etc. It almost has to be just delayed reactions to stress, because other than a few scary days towards the end of february/begin of march, i've been so happy and feeling great since the good checkup in December, and taking good care of myself for most of the last few years. Plus I was having too many things going on for it to be anything but my body worrying about psychological stuff. Otherwise i'd have been dead by now or having other symptoms, or have gotten worse or something. Instead of way way bettier. Thank you to all who expressed concern and let me talk it out/type it out a little bit, that did help. A couple of people even inquired about my well-being, people who i wouldn't have expected to give a damn, and that made me feel good. And now we have some fresh springy weather this week to further exhilarate us. Of course there's always a slight downside to anything, and this morning in research park i got the first whiff of manure i've smelled since before winter. I don't know why, because there must be lots of places out in the country by here, and at the UW livestock research thingy over by wrrk, where they have animals poopin' year round. Maybe they're just outdoors more now. Rach took some great pics of the buffalos at the zoo last weekend, and reported the steaming piles they were producing, scaring away the most annoying zoo patrons, for which our code-phrase is "screaming baby airlines," which i think is what radio personality stephanie williams calls it when people's out of control brats are making the animals (and the adult humans) nervous. So perhaps i just notice the manure smell more in the warmer months because it is more smelly in the warmer months. Instead of freezing on the ground, it wafts bettyward. Last night I had to explain to some little coworkers about odors. I took over a call for a little second shifter who was leaving, and it was so stenchy in that cube that i had to stand up and get a chair from the neighboring cube, during the call. And the touchscreen was beyond fingerprinty, it was grimy. See, I understood why little St B took me over there, she knows i like to do call takeovers for a change of pace lets' say, and I read somewhere that half the people don't even smell body odor so she might not have noticed it. It also was more noticable after he got up and walked away. So i was telling her and someone else that only fifty percent of people smell body odor, and and of that fifty percent half think it smells good. So even though me, and little Paul at work, thought that everyone minded it, really only about one out of four mind it. Which sounds unbelievable I know, but it would explain why certain people at a former job, the relay hell job (still a breath of fresh air after the reen), didn't even notice how bad a certain operator smelled. One of the mildly stinky operators there also worked at where i now work, and they told me he got "released" for not cleaning up. ANd they thought that was extreme odor. Nothing like the guy i was thinking of, who was so beyond stanky, he would hover around the supe desk and they would act like everything was normal. And i would be holding my breath if i had to even walk past there.. I couldn't believe they didn't take action, because they were so nitpicky about so many things. But it is possible many people didn't notice it. Or didn't mind it. Anyway as to the outdoors, in the last few days out here on the west side, we've gone from just smelling the mud, a welcome sensory accompaniment to feeling the warmth of the thaw, to just not needing as many layers of clothing and smelling the manure...
Anyway This new editing format for LJ is interesting. What M/V i should talk about today. I sent Shakti Gawain's creative visualizations cd to Joey, because we had been having fun discussions about that over the internets. Joey is a great fella who used to work with me at the second relay plant i was at, a.k.a. relay purgatory. We had a really cool training class there, except for a couple of people who weren't as fun as the rest of us. Joey was definitely one of the fun cool people there. I was disappointed i didnt' get his contact info while we were both still there, but then i had the good fortune of running into him in the coop almost two years ago. Good thing too, because i havent been to the coop at all since i moved out here to the west side where they still believe in things. (Just kidding, they don't believe in nothin out here). I am gonna share some other meditative techniques with ya Joey, i just started with the Shakti one because it's a great overall introductory thing and it's varied. It consists of several sections where Shakti (who sounds like Roz on Frazier), explains how to ground yourself before visualizing, different ways of visualizing, affirmations, and stuff like that. It's very easy and she tells you that you dont' have to do anything to make it happen, which i assume she means as a way of staying relaxed while listening to the recording and mellowing out. I am, like most people, a little suspicious of thinking affirmations by themselves do anything, but it is certainly true, as Shirley points out in her recordings where she talks about manifesting, that once you get a really clear picture of your goals, you can't help but do actions and make choices in your life that bring you closer to your goals. I don't know if it's true that you can't help but do that, but certainly we're a lot more likely to get what we want if we know exactly what it is that we do want. That can be difficult, but it is also a lot of fun if you get into the spirit of it. ANd it can be somewhat a separate mental process from just relaxing and letting yourself not sabotage good decisions and opportunities. So i was just thinking of putting a nice lady's prosperity visualization tool clip on here, which is just about getting prosperous thoughts in your head (at least i think that's what she means), but that will be for another day, now that I'm thinking about this guy and his what do you want video.
This you could use as a tool for making up your own visualizations about your goals, or you can do as i often do and just enjoy his voice and mannerisms. He used to have a hypnosis video that was good but now it's a private video, and i believe he sells custom made hypnosis recordings, so if you like him, you can look up pokerwithoutcards on you tube. I don't know where he's from or his name or anything, but i have the feeling some of you will like the experience of his video.
Obviously he's younger and more casual than most people who give advice about this kind of stuff, or something. Maybe that makes him accessible to people who wouldn't normally want to learn about the kinds of things he talks about in his videos, or that might just be my perception based on fifteen years of not expecting people who talk about such topics to be anything like him. I wish i'd had the internet and this guy's videos during the 90s, when i was not understanding some of the concepts he discusses(most of which seem so obvious now), but he probably was just a child in the nineties? Can't tell. I can't even tell what region that manner of speech is from. I don't know what it is i like so much about him, except he is sort of reminiscent of a vague composite of some interesting esoteric-but-earthy folks i knew in my hometown when i was as young as this guy appears to be. In fact, I think he might have something in common with certain people that i never really did get to know but maybe met at parties or at school a few times. I will have to ask Julipuli if there is a name for that because I think she'll know. I'll be likely to post more about a similar phenomenon in Madison, of seeing people i feel like i sort of know, or might enjoy knowing but dont know at all, except its different and hard to verbalize. In Madison they are always people, so far, that I don't know, and may never know, but not by choice or impossibility, just by totally fine happenstance. It's unusual in that i feel alretty some familiarity and also no urgency to exchange contact info or try to see them again or get to know them at the moment i see them in the store, on the bus, in passing, etc. And i feel like they feel that too. This sounds crazy unless you know that i am very outgoing, already know lots of people, and i meet lots of people all the time, and have an easy time trying to further interaction if i choose to do so, and also that it is very rare for me to pick up on that kind of vibe from someone. It fascinates me that i don't know what these people have in common with each other or me, but on the rare occasions that i have encountered them in my life i don't feel like i need to do anything about it, and in fact i rarely think about those rare occasions. I guess that' s a big part of the fascination is that i give it very little thought, until i encounter another person (such as this video guy) who evokes a similar response. The experiences can be a few months or years apart and i'm like oh, yeah that experience. How strange that i don't know them, but feel like i should, but feel like i will whenever i should, or I already do in some other realm maybe? Or i will or i did know them in some other way? If i was someone who has trouble getting to know people it would just sound like i was overinterpreting, but that's the thing, i don't have any trouble striking up conversation or giving people my contact info or asking for theirs, it just never seems important to do that when this happens. And it's so rare, that if i was a more isolated person i would probably look for whoever those people are in crowds or something, but it's not like that because i seem to forget about it until it happens again. Which is one of the many things that makes them different from seeing someone that you recognize an attraction to, and either it is or isn't feasible to do something about it. In these instances it's a much different sensation than being physically attracted, or thinking they'd be a fun friend (although there's nothing wrong with them, it's just that it's not that kind of experience) . Maybe that's part of why i don't notice the experiences in between times, because i'm not isolated enough in this lifetime. Also it's not like you can look for a certain set of features, they can be any gender or age or hair color. I think it's usually white folks, within 20 years younger or 20 years older than me, of roughly similar socioeconomic status to me,usually dark hairded, but i wouldn't say it's limited to those categories at all, just the only times i can remember it happening, off hand tha'ts what i'm seeing. As with any way i could verbalize the experience, it's going to make it sounds like i have something in common with them, or they do with each other, but all i can tell you is i have a very strong sense that that is NOT what's up. Commonality or recognition of similarity is not the experience, it's so different than that. In person, when the other person sees me too, they seem to have the same type of experience i do. Like they know me, or think they should , but it's not exaclty recognition, and we are sort of glad to see each other but there is no need to make sure that we interact more, although it is a sort of intense and pleasant experience. So, i don't have any idea if the guy in the video here is one of those people, because it's slightly different each time i experience what i'm trying to describe here, and it's always in person before not someone i see on a screen, but not interaction either, other than mutual looks and calm nods. (and totally not like when another gay person or hipster or just other friendly outgoing person nods and smiles at me because we are the only people who are nice in the room or the bus or anything like that--- i can tell the difference and this is not that. That kind of thing is a relief, and might lead to getting to know each other, or just having a pleasantly surprising good time somewhere, and that happens plenty. It's also not anything like flirting, although that would be an almost as rare experience for me to have happen, it's not that either.) Those who don't know me would probably assume i just haven't interacted with people much, but those who know me will know that it's unusual, both for me to have an experience that i can't really put into words, that seems sort of significant, but also i don't' try to do anything about it, or even think about it much at all. Those four aspects make it quite odd, given the way my mind and personality seem to work. It would be fun to see if Julipuli has experienced that or has heard of something similar. Others might know what that is like too, and are welcome to say. The explanation is so long because it's so hard to describe, but if you carefully read it, and rule out all the She's-been-living-under-a-rock/she's-insane interpretations, and really get how it's different from other types of interaction, and barely is an interaction, you'll know what i mean. Now, the guy in the video is different because, like lots of personalities on youtube, it's pretty much impossible to tell how one might perceive them in other contexts, like if you talked to them at a party or you saw them riding the bus, or worked with them, or whatever. But his personality is appealing to me, so he'll be on my LJ clips a few times this month. And I do expect he will attain the goals he mentions there, and I'm glad. So he may not fit in to the phenomenon i describe above, but i hope if anyone has had that happen or knows what i mean, they will say.
Feeling ; bettier in the last week or ten days than I have in a while, totally like myself again, so whatever was going on after mid-february, maybe really was stress, overdoing it on the cardioglide (aka the scrogger), etc. It almost has to be just delayed reactions to stress, because other than a few scary days towards the end of february/begin of march, i've been so happy and feeling great since the good checkup in December, and taking good care of myself for most of the last few years. Plus I was having too many things going on for it to be anything but my body worrying about psychological stuff. Otherwise i'd have been dead by now or having other symptoms, or have gotten worse or something. Instead of way way bettier. Thank you to all who expressed concern and let me talk it out/type it out a little bit, that did help. A couple of people even inquired about my well-being, people who i wouldn't have expected to give a damn, and that made me feel good. And now we have some fresh springy weather this week to further exhilarate us. Of course there's always a slight downside to anything, and this morning in research park i got the first whiff of manure i've smelled since before winter. I don't know why, because there must be lots of places out in the country by here, and at the UW livestock research thingy over by wrrk, where they have animals poopin' year round. Maybe they're just outdoors more now. Rach took some great pics of the buffalos at the zoo last weekend, and reported the steaming piles they were producing, scaring away the most annoying zoo patrons, for which our code-phrase is "screaming baby airlines," which i think is what radio personality stephanie williams calls it when people's out of control brats are making the animals (and the adult humans) nervous. So perhaps i just notice the manure smell more in the warmer months because it is more smelly in the warmer months. Instead of freezing on the ground, it wafts bettyward. Last night I had to explain to some little coworkers about odors. I took over a call for a little second shifter who was leaving, and it was so stenchy in that cube that i had to stand up and get a chair from the neighboring cube, during the call. And the touchscreen was beyond fingerprinty, it was grimy. See, I understood why little St B took me over there, she knows i like to do call takeovers for a change of pace lets' say, and I read somewhere that half the people don't even smell body odor so she might not have noticed it. It also was more noticable after he got up and walked away. So i was telling her and someone else that only fifty percent of people smell body odor, and and of that fifty percent half think it smells good. So even though me, and little Paul at work, thought that everyone minded it, really only about one out of four mind it. Which sounds unbelievable I know, but it would explain why certain people at a former job, the relay hell job (still a breath of fresh air after the reen), didn't even notice how bad a certain operator smelled. One of the mildly stinky operators there also worked at where i now work, and they told me he got "released" for not cleaning up. ANd they thought that was extreme odor. Nothing like the guy i was thinking of, who was so beyond stanky, he would hover around the supe desk and they would act like everything was normal. And i would be holding my breath if i had to even walk past there.. I couldn't believe they didn't take action, because they were so nitpicky about so many things. But it is possible many people didn't notice it. Or didn't mind it. Anyway as to the outdoors, in the last few days out here on the west side, we've gone from just smelling the mud, a welcome sensory accompaniment to feeling the warmth of the thaw, to just not needing as many layers of clothing and smelling the manure...
Anyway This new editing format for LJ is interesting. What M/V i should talk about today. I sent Shakti Gawain's creative visualizations cd to Joey, because we had been having fun discussions about that over the internets. Joey is a great fella who used to work with me at the second relay plant i was at, a.k.a. relay purgatory. We had a really cool training class there, except for a couple of people who weren't as fun as the rest of us. Joey was definitely one of the fun cool people there. I was disappointed i didnt' get his contact info while we were both still there, but then i had the good fortune of running into him in the coop almost two years ago. Good thing too, because i havent been to the coop at all since i moved out here to the west side where they still believe in things. (Just kidding, they don't believe in nothin out here). I am gonna share some other meditative techniques with ya Joey, i just started with the Shakti one because it's a great overall introductory thing and it's varied. It consists of several sections where Shakti (who sounds like Roz on Frazier), explains how to ground yourself before visualizing, different ways of visualizing, affirmations, and stuff like that. It's very easy and she tells you that you dont' have to do anything to make it happen, which i assume she means as a way of staying relaxed while listening to the recording and mellowing out. I am, like most people, a little suspicious of thinking affirmations by themselves do anything, but it is certainly true, as Shirley points out in her recordings where she talks about manifesting, that once you get a really clear picture of your goals, you can't help but do actions and make choices in your life that bring you closer to your goals. I don't know if it's true that you can't help but do that, but certainly we're a lot more likely to get what we want if we know exactly what it is that we do want. That can be difficult, but it is also a lot of fun if you get into the spirit of it. ANd it can be somewhat a separate mental process from just relaxing and letting yourself not sabotage good decisions and opportunities. So i was just thinking of putting a nice lady's prosperity visualization tool clip on here, which is just about getting prosperous thoughts in your head (at least i think that's what she means), but that will be for another day, now that I'm thinking about this guy and his what do you want video.
This you could use as a tool for making up your own visualizations about your goals, or you can do as i often do and just enjoy his voice and mannerisms. He used to have a hypnosis video that was good but now it's a private video, and i believe he sells custom made hypnosis recordings, so if you like him, you can look up pokerwithoutcards on you tube. I don't know where he's from or his name or anything, but i have the feeling some of you will like the experience of his video.
Click to viewObviously he's younger and more casual than most people who give advice about this kind of stuff, or something. Maybe that makes him accessible to people who wouldn't normally want to learn about the kinds of things he talks about in his videos, or that might just be my perception based on fifteen years of not expecting people who talk about such topics to be anything like him. I wish i'd had the internet and this guy's videos during the 90s, when i was not understanding some of the concepts he discusses(most of which seem so obvious now), but he probably was just a child in the nineties? Can't tell. I can't even tell what region that manner of speech is from. I don't know what it is i like so much about him, except he is sort of reminiscent of a vague composite of some interesting esoteric-but-earthy folks i knew in my hometown when i was as young as this guy appears to be. In fact, I think he might have something in common with certain people that i never really did get to know but maybe met at parties or at school a few times. I will have to ask Julipuli if there is a name for that because I think she'll know. I'll be likely to post more about a similar phenomenon in Madison, of seeing people i feel like i sort of know, or might enjoy knowing but dont know at all, except its different and hard to verbalize. In Madison they are always people, so far, that I don't know, and may never know, but not by choice or impossibility, just by totally fine happenstance. It's unusual in that i feel alretty some familiarity and also no urgency to exchange contact info or try to see them again or get to know them at the moment i see them in the store, on the bus, in passing, etc. And i feel like they feel that too. This sounds crazy unless you know that i am very outgoing, already know lots of people, and i meet lots of people all the time, and have an easy time trying to further interaction if i choose to do so, and also that it is very rare for me to pick up on that kind of vibe from someone. It fascinates me that i don't know what these people have in common with each other or me, but on the rare occasions that i have encountered them in my life i don't feel like i need to do anything about it, and in fact i rarely think about those rare occasions. I guess that' s a big part of the fascination is that i give it very little thought, until i encounter another person (such as this video guy) who evokes a similar response. The experiences can be a few months or years apart and i'm like oh, yeah that experience. How strange that i don't know them, but feel like i should, but feel like i will whenever i should, or I already do in some other realm maybe? Or i will or i did know them in some other way? If i was someone who has trouble getting to know people it would just sound like i was overinterpreting, but that's the thing, i don't have any trouble striking up conversation or giving people my contact info or asking for theirs, it just never seems important to do that when this happens. And it's so rare, that if i was a more isolated person i would probably look for whoever those people are in crowds or something, but it's not like that because i seem to forget about it until it happens again. Which is one of the many things that makes them different from seeing someone that you recognize an attraction to, and either it is or isn't feasible to do something about it. In these instances it's a much different sensation than being physically attracted, or thinking they'd be a fun friend (although there's nothing wrong with them, it's just that it's not that kind of experience) . Maybe that's part of why i don't notice the experiences in between times, because i'm not isolated enough in this lifetime. Also it's not like you can look for a certain set of features, they can be any gender or age or hair color. I think it's usually white folks, within 20 years younger or 20 years older than me, of roughly similar socioeconomic status to me,usually dark hairded, but i wouldn't say it's limited to those categories at all, just the only times i can remember it happening, off hand tha'ts what i'm seeing. As with any way i could verbalize the experience, it's going to make it sounds like i have something in common with them, or they do with each other, but all i can tell you is i have a very strong sense that that is NOT what's up. Commonality or recognition of similarity is not the experience, it's so different than that. In person, when the other person sees me too, they seem to have the same type of experience i do. Like they know me, or think they should , but it's not exaclty recognition, and we are sort of glad to see each other but there is no need to make sure that we interact more, although it is a sort of intense and pleasant experience. So, i don't have any idea if the guy in the video here is one of those people, because it's slightly different each time i experience what i'm trying to describe here, and it's always in person before not someone i see on a screen, but not interaction either, other than mutual looks and calm nods. (and totally not like when another gay person or hipster or just other friendly outgoing person nods and smiles at me because we are the only people who are nice in the room or the bus or anything like that--- i can tell the difference and this is not that. That kind of thing is a relief, and might lead to getting to know each other, or just having a pleasantly surprising good time somewhere, and that happens plenty. It's also not anything like flirting, although that would be an almost as rare experience for me to have happen, it's not that either.) Those who don't know me would probably assume i just haven't interacted with people much, but those who know me will know that it's unusual, both for me to have an experience that i can't really put into words, that seems sort of significant, but also i don't' try to do anything about it, or even think about it much at all. Those four aspects make it quite odd, given the way my mind and personality seem to work. It would be fun to see if Julipuli has experienced that or has heard of something similar. Others might know what that is like too, and are welcome to say. The explanation is so long because it's so hard to describe, but if you carefully read it, and rule out all the She's-been-living-under-a-rock/she's-insane interpretations, and really get how it's different from other types of interaction, and barely is an interaction, you'll know what i mean. Now, the guy in the video is different because, like lots of personalities on youtube, it's pretty much impossible to tell how one might perceive them in other contexts, like if you talked to them at a party or you saw them riding the bus, or worked with them, or whatever. But his personality is appealing to me, so he'll be on my LJ clips a few times this month. And I do expect he will attain the goals he mentions there, and I'm glad. So he may not fit in to the phenomenon i describe above, but i hope if anyone has had that happen or knows what i mean, they will say.