i'm sick of This shit!
Alright. this makes 7 times in the past month this shit has happened.
i make plans. i get excited about plans. plans fall through.
i start to wonder. is it me? what the hell is wrong with me that makes people NOT want to hang out with me. am i "That friend" who no one really likes to be around? I never got this impression from myself...but 7 times in 30 days seems to be a bit much.
sure not all things are able to go through. no one is always free all the time. people work blah blah blah.
yet skipping out on plans hours before their supposed to go down isn't exactly kosher in my book. i know i was raised to give at least a day or 2 notice of cancellation.
what my friends need to realize is that i get so excited about hanging out with them and when it doesn't happen, it hurts. deep.
i always come to the conclusion that it's not me, it's them. and then i'm usually mad at them for a day or 2 afterwards. then i usually let up.
but there are some repeat offenders.
and it's just getting worse.
i'm' starting to just not care anymore.
well not right now. right now i'm pissed. right now i care. right now i'm miserable because i thought both people me and the other person were wicked psyched about seeing each other.
but apparently i was the only one. and it wasn't THAT important to the other. the other doesn't know that i was telling everyone how i was going to see him and how excited i was. the other doesn't know how much it hurt me to see that he didn't want to hang out.
it would be fine if i was seeing this person every day. but it's been 3 months since i saw him. not to mention i have/ had a crush on him.
whatever.
i'm not sure where i stand on this anymore.
i took the day off tomorrow to go see him. and if i don't, then i'm probably going to sit on my ass all day and be miserable.
yes i tell myself not to let it ruin my day. but during the day i think, "I could be with someone i care about right now...but i'm not."
o well. poor mike. alone again.
whatever.................