Fanfic - Bad Taste
Bad Taste
Author: kanzeon_bosatsu aka Tykki
Beta-reading: Renehorn
Rating: PG
Characters: the Rogues
Pairing: mentioned Piper/Fury
Warnings: probably not politically correct. Oh, and Mark is OOC, but I've tried to make him younger.
Timeline: just after the Top's first death, I think. And the last paragraph - before the Blackest Night.
Summary: sometimes it's wrong to jump to conclusions. Oh, and you can earn a punch in a face regardless of your sexuality, if you deserve it ^^;
“When we needed family,
the Rogues were there for us”.
Trickster to Piper, ‘The Flash’ #178
"That kid’s at it again!" the Heat Wave announced, entering the Rogues' safehouse and sagging wearily in the nearest chair.
"What kid?" Captain Cold tensed, wondering if Kid Flash came out of his retirement.
"Which kid?" the Mirror Master asked gravely, thinking more along the lines, 'Why the hell do we have two underage Rogues and one more barely of age?'
It turned out he was right.
"The Piper", sighed the Heat Wave. "He's gone and hooked up with the Fury.”
"Piper and Fury dating?" asked the Weather Wizard excitedly. "Fury, like, in Earl Povich a.k.a. the Fury?" Piper's date history was once again a source of amazement for him.
"The same. Dating and working together.”
Cold groaned.
"I swear, Hartley's got a death wish. Where he keeps diggin' these jerks out?"
"Gay bars?" the Weather Wizard said, snickering.
"Is there a special one for jerks?"
"Is this a gay thing?" exclaimed the Mirror Master desperately. "It gotta be, 'cause the kid's smart in all other areas except for choosing his squeezes!"
Captain Boomerang, who was the only one left in the room not contributing to the conversation, finally put his dropped jaw back in place.
"Never'd take Fury for a pansy" he mumbled.
The Weather Wizard, for whom each new Piper's boyfriend was like, 'Wow, that one's gay too!?', nodded eagerly.
"Guess being big and bad like you, Digger, doesn't mean you're not gay", he noticed merrily.
"Hey!!"
"The question is", the Heat Wave cut them, "what do we do to the Fury?"
"Why should we?" Cold grumbled. "Let Hartley learn on his own mistakes."
"He don't."
"Well, yeah, that's too true", the Mirror Master thoughtfully nodded. "I could bet he'd knew better after the last time, but, if it's Fury now, it seems he really don't."
"Maybe he's just into jerks", added the Weather Wizard. He was enjoying the whole situation, mostly because he was only three years older than the Piper and sometimes got referred to as 'that kid' as well - but not right now.
"Shut it, Mark, you're a jerk yourself", Cold said, annoyed by his cheerful attitude. "And don't get any funny ideas.”
"Hey, I'm a ladies' man! And anyway, Digger's a bigger jerk! He must be Piper's type, if you ask me!"
"Me ladies' man alright!" Boomerang roared. "Hey, only last night I picked up that wench and..."
"Spare us the details", Cold was the one drinking with him last night. He’d tried to pick up the same girl but it hadn’t gone well. "And nobody’s asking you, Mark. Stop provoking Digger.” He thought for a moment, then added, “And don’t ever try to approach my sister, you hear that?”
Mark snorted. He knew for sure that, if Lisa Snart needed that, she could damn well ‘approach’ any man herself, but he wasn’t going to risk it and break this particular piece of news to Cold.
“So, back to the Piper”, the Heat Wave stubbornly continued. “That heist we planned for the next week? Could get tough without him. We need him to hypnotize those guards without tripping an alarm-“
“Stop trying to con me, Mick, you’re no Trickster”, warned Cold. “This has nothin’ to do with the heist. You’re just worried about the Piper.”
“Why not?” the Heat Wave shrugged. “He’s a good kid, never tried backstabbing us, always bailed us out when needed. Sure, he's got taste as bad as they come, I mean, look at these thugs, but he's barely nineteen. He'll outgrow this, just like his stupid socialist ideas."
"Mick and Piper, sitting on a tree...", the Weather Wizard sing-songed.
"Mark, you don't have to be gay to like Piper", said the Heat Wave impatiently. "Damn it, I just should've paid Fury a visit myself. Didn’t think that motto, 'Rogues stick together', was just for show.”
"Stop bitchin', Mick.”
"Actually, Len, I'm with Mick on this", the Mirror Master told Cold. "Good grief, Piper's last flame sucker-punched him after the heist and left for the coppers to find! Me and JJ were barely in time to break him from the precinct before they hauled him to prison!"
"To be fair, after that Piper hypnotized him into going to cops with all the loot and naked", reminded Mark.
"Yep, but still. And the kid's not a prison material yet, you know it, Len. Maybe in coupla years, but not yet."
"Don't you get all wussy on me too, Sam", Cold scowled.
"Sure thing, old chum, but it’s still a good point", the Mirror Master laughed. "C'mon, Len, if this was about JJ or Lisa, you'd be already suiting up!"
Cold moved his attention to uncharacteristically quiet Boomerang.
"What d'you think, Digger? Want to go and trash Piper's boyfriend?"
Boomer squirmed uncomfortably and opened his mouth to say something.
But the Weather Wizard was faster.
"Digger's afraid to say yes", he smirked knowingly. "'Cause then we'll know he wants Piper for himself.”
Boomerang went purple in face.
"Shut yer trap, will ya!" he yelled, jumping to his feet and bringing his fist on the table. Cards and poker chips went flying. "Ah'm not afraid of anyfin’! Trash Fury? Fine by me!"
"That settles it then. And shut up, you both", Cold ordered.
When they suited up and started for the Fury's apartment, the Heat Wave told the Mirror Master quietly:
"Thanks for the help back there."
"Hey, no sweat", Sam grinned. "I figur'd, with you and Len at each other's throats, he'd argue about anything you’ve got to say. But the Rogues should look after each other, you’re right. A pity JJ’s still in Hollywood, or we’d have the whole team on this."
Earl Povich never saw it coming. One moment he was walking back home after a couple of drinks, the next - beaten to a pulp in the nearest alley by a bunch of fellow costumed criminals. Only they clearly didn't feel that fellowship at the moment.
"An' don’tcha ever come near Piper again, ya hear it, ya scum!" Boomerang yelled, fully in the heat of the moment.
"What are you, his big brother or something?" the Fury snarled, being, well, furious about the brawl's objective.
"Or sumfin'!" Digger was blissfully unaware of the impression he was giving Earl. Mark noticed, though, and snickered.
"Piper's a big kid and he can choose for hisself!" the Fury jerked his chin up defiantly. "What, he stopped hanging with you guys? Guess he finally caught on what a buncha losers you are!"
The Mirror Master looked at him almost pityingly.
"Geez, punk, you've just bought yourself a lotta trouble", he murmured, making way for the group's leader. And Len Snart was toying with the cold gun that had given him his motif
"So, you think the Rogues are losers, don'tcha, Earl?" Captain Cold asked dangerously. "Maybe, you also think you'd fare better than us? Strange, 'cause it seems to me you can't do nothing without Piper's help. And Hartley's still a Rogue, I’m telling you."
"I can fare better than you anytime, you old-timer!" Earl was still trying to puff his chest, and even the Weather Wizard winced, thinking that the Fury really didn't know when to quit.
"Well, you can give it a shot", Cold said, in a surprisingly pleasant tone. Then he raised his gun. "When you come around, I mean."
The Fury paled. So far the Rogues used only fists and feet, and until this moment he hoped the weapons were all for decoration. He heard Cold kept using his gun in a non-lethal way, but it was still disconcerting to find yourself on its wrong side.
"Going to freeze me, are you, pops?" Nevertheless, he kept eyeballing Cold.
"Nah", Len shook his head. "A cheap punk like you ain't worth it."
Then he brought his gun to the side of Earl's face. The Fury went down like a sack of potatoes.
And that was it.
"Got a problem, Mick?" Cold challenged, wondering if the Heat Wave wanted to make a finishing blow himself.
"Me? Nope, Len", Mick smiled. "I'm good."
In the end things turned out better than expected. The Fury's injured pride caused him to try and pull a job alone, and ultimately he was caught and sentenced. So in a week the Pied Piper was boyfriend-free and drinking in the Rogues' safehouse, mildly surprised by the fact that, for a change, Cold wasn't telling him to shove personal chatter where the sun didn't shine.
Boy, was that suspicious...
"I heard on the grapevine", the Piper began slowly, sipping his beer, "that a few days before he was caught Earl had received a beating from someone".
Digger shifted uneasily and earned a strange look from the Piper.
"So what, Hartley?" the Heat Wave asked.
"So I was thinking..."
"That's never a good sign", the Weather Wizard murmured.
"I was thinking", the Piper continued, "that, maybe, that had happened because of, uh, our relationship?.."
Captain Boomerang had the worst poker face ever. Especially after a couple of beers.
The Piper raised an eyebrow.
"I don't suppose you want to tell me something, Digger?"
And then the Weather Wizard did it.
"Only maybe that he's got a thing for you, Pipes", he said in a exaggeratedly serious tone.
"Shut up, Mark!!" Digger yelled. "Ah'm no damn poof! An' if the Fury was, well, he was askin' for it!"
The Piper went white.
"You... you did it!" he jumped to his feet and looked around wildly. "The whole lot of you? You - you gay bashers!"
As the door slammed after him, Cold said, irritated:
"Well done, you morons."
"What?!" Boomerang, still red in face, demanded.
"Nothing, except for this little heist the day after tomorrow", the Mirror Master reminded. "In which we still need the Piper's music."
"I don't care how you do it, but you two go after him and convince him to come back", Len told Digger and Mark. "Or it will be up to you to hypnotize the guards."
"Hey, why me?” the Weather Wizard protested. “It was Digger’s fault!”
“Just go, before we decided to sew up your smartass mouth, kiddo”, Sam told him and reached for the next beer.
“Stupid brat”, Cold grumbled, accepting a bottle from the Mirror Master.
“You mean, Piper or Mark?” the Heat Wave asked.
“Piper. And that’ll teach you, Mick, to mind yer own business. Hope you happy with the ‘thanks’ he gave you just now. …What the hell are you smirkin’ at?”
“Just thinking, what if Piper go and hook up with another jerk after that?” the Heat Wave explained. “And will we have to do this all over again?”
Cold groaned.
“Mick, what did I say about mindin’ yer own business?”
“Isn’t there a boy who could catch the Piper’s eye and wouldn’t require a beating?” the Mirror Master sighed. “I’m really not lookin’ forward to makin’ this a tradition.”
“Well then, let’s hope the kid will stay outta trouble for a while…” Mick smirked again. “Gay bashers, are we?”
“Yeah… yeah, we are”, Len clinked his beer with Mick’s and smirked, too.
“Amen to that”, Sam nodded in agreement, joining them.
It will take Piper the whole set of three Crises to look back at the past objectively.
But by that time Sam will be dead, Digger dead, and back, and dead again, JJ and Lisa dead too, and Mick too far gone, and the Rogues won’t be nearly the same as they were in their early years.
And the time for any realizations to be useful will be long past.
23.11.2010