Belated Prompt
Title: Pumpkin
Characters: Piper, Irey West, Trickster
Rating: PG-ish
A/N: picks up after my other prompt, skanky costumes
Piper excused himself from the kitchen to try giving James another call. The line of Trickster-Lanterns on his driveway really was pretty worrying. He'd thought about throwing up a sound field to keep squirrels and neighbor kids away from them on the off chance they'd been left by the less benign of the two Tricksters (although he was pretty sure Axel hadn't figured out where he lived).
Irey contented herself playing with the rats and trying out variations on her new costume. Then Piper came back into the kitchen and let out a sigh of relief. "They're from James and he says they're safe."
"Did he apologize for being a dope and scaring the bejeezus out of you?"
"Kind of. He mocked me soundly for being so paranoid. That's almost the same thing to him."
"Well, you were kinda being paranoid..."
"It's mostly his fault I'm paranoid!" Piper snapped, then realized who he was snapping at, but luckily Irey didn't look offended.
"Don't take this the wrong way Uncle Piper, but when you talk about Trickster you guys kinda sound like you're married. Like, you could totally sit in on Mommy and Auntie Iris' bitch fests about Daddy and Uncle Barry."
The sad part was, he actually already did. And he wasn't even getting sex out of the deal.
"Well he said the Trickster-Lanterns were an invitation and I'd have noticed if I'd paid more attention to them, instead of thinking they were bomb threats. He's on his way over to kidnap me for some sort of Halloween shenanigans."
"Okay, I guess I'll head home and show Mom and Dad my new costume then. Thanks for the help." Irey ran up to him and gave him a hug before taking off.
A few minutes later Piper was sitting on his driveway eating one of the fruit leathers that had been stuffed into a Trickster-Lantern. James strolled up the driveway and cheerfully waved at him.
"So what's the invitation? I'm not being paranoid now, and I still don't see it."
"You know how you're always saying you wish the capes would notice you're not a villain anymore?" James asked. Piper nodded. It had been quite a few years, and other than Wally and a few of his friends, everyone seemed to expect him to revert any minute. "Well, I got us a job helping the Justice League this Halloween. Pretty sweet, huh?"
"Getting us to take one of their menial tasks off their hands when they're busy is hardly an accomplishment. Wally has had me up to do tech repairs on the WatchTower before." Providing free tech support didn't count as being an honorary Justice Leaguer in Piper's eyes.
"No, no, I had assurances! Gotham City is very busy on Halloween and they always need the help. Real help."
Piper still looked suspicious, but he accepted James' invitation to go to Gotham and help the Bats out.
And wasted Halloween in a freezing cold pumpkin patch that the Scarecrow never visited. If he'd had Sally's little rant from It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown memorized he would have recited it.
No, he wouldn't have. That would have made the idiot sitting next to him happy.
"This is so not worth it without sex," Piper mumbled.
"What was that Hartley?"
"Nothing, nothing."