Fic: T.L.C.
Since the subject of redecoration came up in madripoor_rose 's lastest post...XD
Title: T.L.C.
Author: Ivybramble
Fandom: CatTrick, Pipster
Rating: T
Summary: After a grueling week at the centre of a soul sucking bureaucracy, F.B.I. Agent James Jesse comes home to an extremely pleasant surprise.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no money.
There were days when Federal Bureaucracy of Investigation Agent James Jesse thought he had a fairly good idea of what exactly it was that pushed people that extra inch necessary for them to stop abstractly contemplating the wholesale destruction of their place of work and start buying the required parts to fashion the explosives. Nothing lethal, he wasn’t quite that far gone…but something sufficiently unpleasant and difficult to clean up. Silly Putty maybe…or multicoloured soap bubbles of the impossible to pop variety. It had been a long week. He’d looked into the mirror that morning and for a moment he’d had trouble recognizing the man staring back. Short, neat blonde hair severely slicked back, cold blue eyes with the tell tale smudges below that indicated one too many late nights at the office, visible frown lines on the forehead…and absolutely no trace of a smile. This was his reward for deciding to play for the good capes? Endless stacks of boring paperwork in a soul sucking bureaucracy surrounded by drones who actually liked the job, followed by an agonizingly slow commute back into walking distance of the apartment? And God help the mugger who tried to mess with him tonight. Ah but tomorrow, tomorrow was his. He was going to unplug the phone, pull the covers over his head and sleep until he felt like a human being again. He was also going to do something about the wretchedly upbeat elevator music. James kept his eyes on his shoes for the entire trip from the elevator down the hallway he could have sworn had tripled in length since he’d left the building that morning to the door of his apartment. They were black, sensible and depressingly normal. He mechanically turned the key, looked up and blinked.
Someone had completely redecorated his apartment. Actually it might have been fairer to say somebody had decorated his apartment, since he’d done precious little to the place himself other than to move his things into the provided storage spaces. The unremarkable furniture had been replaced with glossy, elegant pieces in a dark wood, the upholstery on the couches and chairs redone in brilliant alternating shades of cerulean blue and canary yellow. There were framed pictures on the wall and the small collection of knick knacks he’d kept over the years had been unpacked and spread tastefully around the room. The most startling change, however, was only just visible through the open door that led to the bedroom. The uncomfortable single had been replaced by a curtained, king-sized affair made up in royal purple and hunters green. Wrapping one hand around his trusty yo-yo, James Jesse crept across his unrecognizable living room and into the bedroom.
“Rough day at the office Tricky?” There was a gorgeous woman in a long purple gown with slits running up to mid thigh on both sides and a cascade of black curls spilling out from under a matching purple cowl topped with cat ears lounging seductively in the middle of the bed. Normally a man renowned for his loquacity it took James several moments to get enough moisture back in his suddenly dry mouth to reply.
“ME-OW.”
“This old thing?” The Catwoman cast a brief glance at her attire before dazzling white teeth flashed in a grin that was equal parts sultry and wicked. “So…what do you think of the apartment?”
“I’ll have you know that unauthorized furniture rearranging is considered a very serious offense,” he drawled in his best ‘Serious F.B.I. Agent Voice’ as he moved toward the bed, “Lord only knows what your machinations have done to the chi flow. I’m afraid I’m going to have to take you in.”
She rose gracefully to her knees, “Surely we can work out some sort of…arrangement?” One perfectly manicured hand closed around the end of his tie and yanked him closer for what would have surely been a breath taking kiss…if the stupid clip hadn’t detached. As it was, he was on his way to landing in an ungainly heap on the floor, when a pair of arms wrapping around his waist from behind arrested his fall. James tilted his head back onto his rescuer’s shoulder and grinned.
“Hullo Hartley. Fancy meeting you here.”
“Lady needed some help with the furniture.”
“Ah. Staying?” James batted his eyelashes up at his best friend.
“That would really depend on whether you intended that to come off as an inquiry or an invitation James,” Piper retorted bemusedly. James swiveled around in the other man’s arms so he could look him in the eye without getting a crick in his neck.
“Honestly Music Man? Bit of both, emphasis on option two.” The smile he received in response was tinged with enough wicked to make his pulse start racing.
“Well in that case…how fond are you of this shirt?” Slender musician’s fingers moved around to the front of him and tapped lightly against the top button of his dress shirt.
“Not. I took it to a place that wasn’t Gambi’s to have it cleaned, they shrunk it, and now the collar pinches. Why?” His answer was a simultaneous upgrade of the smile from wicked to feral and a sharp tug that sent buttons flying to all corners of the room. “Jesus,” he exhaled as Piper backed him up until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed and Selina reached around him to peel off his jacket and newly torn open shirt.
“Sure you’re going to be able to handle us both Tricky?” she purred in his ear before nipping the lobe. Turning just enough to claim the kiss his stupid tie had interrupted earlier, the Trickster wound one hand into silky dark curls while using the grip he had on Piper’s belt buckle with the other to drag him down to join them.
“Try me.”
It wasn’t until late afternoon of the next day that James Jesse finally deigned to open his eyes.
“Feeling better Tricky?” He rolled over onto one elbow to face his companion. At some point during the night Selina had obviously decided to discard the wig. Which didn’t make a lick of difference as far as he was concerned, she was still the most stunning woman he’d ever seen.
“Mmm hmm….fantastic actually.” Gotham’s most famous cat burglar grinned as she leaned in to steal a kiss.
“Good. You’d been looking a little ragged around the edges lately. We were concerned.”
“So you decided to fix it by redecorating my apartment and then seducing me?” The throaty chuckle he got in response was his favourite variation of her laugh.
“Actually the redecorating aspect didn’t come into play until we arrived. We had a few hours to kill before you were due back from the office and Polka Dots pointed out he’d be depressed too if he had to come home to a place that looked like that at the end of a rough day.” James rolled his eyes.
“Have you ever seen his place?”
“I’ll have you know that I resent that remark,” Piper broke in as he sidled back into the room, attempting with some difficulty to balance a tray that James would have sworn contained every ‘no stove required’ breakfast item known to man. “What?” he demanded as James lost the battle to limit himself to internal snickering. Selina didn’t even bother to try.
“Does Linda know you’re sporting her husband’s insignia on your boxers?” Piper rolled his eyes.
“Who do you think gave them to me in the first place?” Both eyebrows rose quizzically when James put his arm out to neatly block reentry to the bed.
“You and your comestibles are welcome in my bed Hart. The Flash shorts however…not so much.” This time the eyeroll was accompanied by a razzberry, then the tray was resting in his lap and Piper hooked his thumbs under the waistband of the boxers and let them drop.
“If you’re back to being bossy than you must be feeling better,” there was enough palpable relief under the sarcasm to take away any sting.
James grinned, shifting so the tray was balancing on his knees he wrapped one arm around Selina and patted the open space next to him invitingly with his free hand, “Stick around a bit after breakfast Music Man and I’ll show you just how much better.” It was good to be the Trickster.
Title: T.L.C.
Author: Ivybramble
Fandom: CatTrick, Pipster
Rating: T
Summary: After a grueling week at the centre of a soul sucking bureaucracy, F.B.I. Agent James Jesse comes home to an extremely pleasant surprise.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no money.
There were days when Federal Bureaucracy of Investigation Agent James Jesse thought he had a fairly good idea of what exactly it was that pushed people that extra inch necessary for them to stop abstractly contemplating the wholesale destruction of their place of work and start buying the required parts to fashion the explosives. Nothing lethal, he wasn’t quite that far gone…but something sufficiently unpleasant and difficult to clean up. Silly Putty maybe…or multicoloured soap bubbles of the impossible to pop variety. It had been a long week. He’d looked into the mirror that morning and for a moment he’d had trouble recognizing the man staring back. Short, neat blonde hair severely slicked back, cold blue eyes with the tell tale smudges below that indicated one too many late nights at the office, visible frown lines on the forehead…and absolutely no trace of a smile. This was his reward for deciding to play for the good capes? Endless stacks of boring paperwork in a soul sucking bureaucracy surrounded by drones who actually liked the job, followed by an agonizingly slow commute back into walking distance of the apartment? And God help the mugger who tried to mess with him tonight. Ah but tomorrow, tomorrow was his. He was going to unplug the phone, pull the covers over his head and sleep until he felt like a human being again. He was also going to do something about the wretchedly upbeat elevator music. James kept his eyes on his shoes for the entire trip from the elevator down the hallway he could have sworn had tripled in length since he’d left the building that morning to the door of his apartment. They were black, sensible and depressingly normal. He mechanically turned the key, looked up and blinked.
Someone had completely redecorated his apartment. Actually it might have been fairer to say somebody had decorated his apartment, since he’d done precious little to the place himself other than to move his things into the provided storage spaces. The unremarkable furniture had been replaced with glossy, elegant pieces in a dark wood, the upholstery on the couches and chairs redone in brilliant alternating shades of cerulean blue and canary yellow. There were framed pictures on the wall and the small collection of knick knacks he’d kept over the years had been unpacked and spread tastefully around the room. The most startling change, however, was only just visible through the open door that led to the bedroom. The uncomfortable single had been replaced by a curtained, king-sized affair made up in royal purple and hunters green. Wrapping one hand around his trusty yo-yo, James Jesse crept across his unrecognizable living room and into the bedroom.
“Rough day at the office Tricky?” There was a gorgeous woman in a long purple gown with slits running up to mid thigh on both sides and a cascade of black curls spilling out from under a matching purple cowl topped with cat ears lounging seductively in the middle of the bed. Normally a man renowned for his loquacity it took James several moments to get enough moisture back in his suddenly dry mouth to reply.
“ME-OW.”
“This old thing?” The Catwoman cast a brief glance at her attire before dazzling white teeth flashed in a grin that was equal parts sultry and wicked. “So…what do you think of the apartment?”
“I’ll have you know that unauthorized furniture rearranging is considered a very serious offense,” he drawled in his best ‘Serious F.B.I. Agent Voice’ as he moved toward the bed, “Lord only knows what your machinations have done to the chi flow. I’m afraid I’m going to have to take you in.”
She rose gracefully to her knees, “Surely we can work out some sort of…arrangement?” One perfectly manicured hand closed around the end of his tie and yanked him closer for what would have surely been a breath taking kiss…if the stupid clip hadn’t detached. As it was, he was on his way to landing in an ungainly heap on the floor, when a pair of arms wrapping around his waist from behind arrested his fall. James tilted his head back onto his rescuer’s shoulder and grinned.
“Hullo Hartley. Fancy meeting you here.”
“Lady needed some help with the furniture.”
“Ah. Staying?” James batted his eyelashes up at his best friend.
“That would really depend on whether you intended that to come off as an inquiry or an invitation James,” Piper retorted bemusedly. James swiveled around in the other man’s arms so he could look him in the eye without getting a crick in his neck.
“Honestly Music Man? Bit of both, emphasis on option two.” The smile he received in response was tinged with enough wicked to make his pulse start racing.
“Well in that case…how fond are you of this shirt?” Slender musician’s fingers moved around to the front of him and tapped lightly against the top button of his dress shirt.
“Not. I took it to a place that wasn’t Gambi’s to have it cleaned, they shrunk it, and now the collar pinches. Why?” His answer was a simultaneous upgrade of the smile from wicked to feral and a sharp tug that sent buttons flying to all corners of the room. “Jesus,” he exhaled as Piper backed him up until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed and Selina reached around him to peel off his jacket and newly torn open shirt.
“Sure you’re going to be able to handle us both Tricky?” she purred in his ear before nipping the lobe. Turning just enough to claim the kiss his stupid tie had interrupted earlier, the Trickster wound one hand into silky dark curls while using the grip he had on Piper’s belt buckle with the other to drag him down to join them.
“Try me.”
It wasn’t until late afternoon of the next day that James Jesse finally deigned to open his eyes.
“Feeling better Tricky?” He rolled over onto one elbow to face his companion. At some point during the night Selina had obviously decided to discard the wig. Which didn’t make a lick of difference as far as he was concerned, she was still the most stunning woman he’d ever seen.
“Mmm hmm….fantastic actually.” Gotham’s most famous cat burglar grinned as she leaned in to steal a kiss.
“Good. You’d been looking a little ragged around the edges lately. We were concerned.”
“So you decided to fix it by redecorating my apartment and then seducing me?” The throaty chuckle he got in response was his favourite variation of her laugh.
“Actually the redecorating aspect didn’t come into play until we arrived. We had a few hours to kill before you were due back from the office and Polka Dots pointed out he’d be depressed too if he had to come home to a place that looked like that at the end of a rough day.” James rolled his eyes.
“Have you ever seen his place?”
“I’ll have you know that I resent that remark,” Piper broke in as he sidled back into the room, attempting with some difficulty to balance a tray that James would have sworn contained every ‘no stove required’ breakfast item known to man. “What?” he demanded as James lost the battle to limit himself to internal snickering. Selina didn’t even bother to try.
“Does Linda know you’re sporting her husband’s insignia on your boxers?” Piper rolled his eyes.
“Who do you think gave them to me in the first place?” Both eyebrows rose quizzically when James put his arm out to neatly block reentry to the bed.
“You and your comestibles are welcome in my bed Hart. The Flash shorts however…not so much.” This time the eyeroll was accompanied by a razzberry, then the tray was resting in his lap and Piper hooked his thumbs under the waistband of the boxers and let them drop.
“If you’re back to being bossy than you must be feeling better,” there was enough palpable relief under the sarcasm to take away any sting.
James grinned, shifting so the tray was balancing on his knees he wrapped one arm around Selina and patted the open space next to him invitingly with his free hand, “Stick around a bit after breakfast Music Man and I’ll show you just how much better.” It was good to be the Trickster.