Fic: More Sonic Than You (Pied Piper, Doctor Who)
Title: More Sonic Than You
Rating: G
Word Count: 1299
Characters: Piper, the Doctor
Fandom: DC Comics, Doctor Who
Summary: Piper just wanted a quiet night in his cell. But when a handsome stranger suddenly appears … well …
Notes: This one’s been living in my head for ages. There may yet be more to come.
He heard it before it appeared, of course. Iron Heights was quiet at nights. An odd, utterly distant sound trembled in his implants before resolving into a grinding, scraping sound that peaked with the appearance of … what the hell was a police box when it was at home?
Piper sat warily on the hard bed and watched. He liked his nice, quiet cell, even if it was in Iron Heights. There weren’t superheroes or supervillains or psychopathic weirdoes in purple robes. He could sit and listen to the music in his head and not have to worry about terrifyingly huge powers that he could have sworn he had never had before.
There was something in the box, he mused. It hummed idly, a susurration that rose and fell very gently. Some sort of machine then. He relaxed. It sounded friendly, as odd as that seemed. He was, however, startled when the door opened and a man stuck his head out. Must have been cramped in there, Piper thought.
‘Excuse me,’ the man said, ‘you haven’t seen a Crumple-Horned Snorkack, have you? About so high,’ he waved a hand at the level of his navel, ‘covered in blue hair, rather squashed-looking horn on the front end, probably leaving a trail of pink dribble?’
Piper blinked. ‘Um, no. Not much traffic through here, to be honest.’
The man seemed to notice their surroundings, gazing around with apparent interest. ‘Ah. I see. To be honest, I don’t usually end up in a prison cell until I’ve been on a planet at least five minutes. I think this is a new record for me. I’m the Doctor, by the way. Nice to meet you.’ He held out a hand.
Piper stared for a moment before shaking the proffered hand quickly. ‘Piper,’ he replied.
‘Just Piper?’
‘Just the Doctor?’
Was he flirting with the man barely seconds after he - how had that thing appeared anyway? - apparated or whatever into his secluded little cell? God, he must be desperate. The Doctor seemed a bit skinny for his usual, though the suit was a nice touch. No need for him to throw himself at the first man through the door (all right, not technically through the door) not in a guard’s uniform.
The Doctor grinned, showing a lot of teeth. ‘Oh, I like you. Want to hunt Snorkack with me?’
‘We’re locked in a cell.’ Piper felt the need to point this out.
‘Oh, that’s never bothered me before.’ The Doctor pulled out a slim device from his pocket and aimed it casually over his shoulder. ‘Well, not usually for long.’ A short buzz (the frequency of which Piper immediately memorised) and the lock clicked open. The Doctor raised an eyebrow at Piper, clearly expecting him to be impressed.
‘A sonic lockpick?’ Piper drawled. ‘Not bad.’
‘It’s a sonic screwdriver, actually,’ the Doctor said, tucking it away a tad sniffily and heading for the door. ‘And what do you mean “not bad”?’
Piper followed. It beat sitting on his ass in a cell and besides, this was the most conversation he’d had in months. ‘I’ve seen better when it comes to sonics.’
‘Better?’
‘It wasn’t exactly tuneful, was it? Quick buzz and that’s it? Nothing wrong with a nice melody.’
They were heading down the darkened corridor now, Piper hurrying to keep up with the Doctor’s long strides. Somehow he wasn’t worrying about any of the guards catching him out of his cell. He was planning on going back, after all, and it wasn’t as if he’d been reluctant on going in in the first place. This was just an excursion. And he was curious about the man’s sonic toy as well.
‘Ah hah!’ exclaimed the Doctor, dropping to his knees on the floor.
From the thoughts suddenly running through his mind, Piper knew he really needed to get laid soon.
The Doctor was wiping something off the floor with his fingers. It looked pink and gooey. The Doctor examined it, sniffed it and then-
‘You’re not going to …’ Piper began, but it was too late.
‘That’ll be our Snorkack,’ the Doctor announced proudly. ‘Tastes kind of … Swedish. Meatballs and pre-packed furniture, kind of thing.’
Piper, whose Swedish knowledge began and ended with a rather rippling man named Sven, shrugged.
‘It went this way!’ The Doctor took off again, faster this time.
Piper shrugged and went after him. The man was clearly bonkers and someone had to keep an eye on him.
They came to a halt somewhere in the prison laundry. It was dark and quiet in there, silent piles of sheets and empty washing machines the only witnesses. There was something moving in there though; Piper could hear it snuffling away at the back.
‘Over there,’ he whispered, pointing.
The Doctor looked surprised but followed his direction. Soon they could just about make out blue fur hidden among a heap of dirty sheets. It moved as the creature rooted among the linen, tugging at the sheets around it.
A big, silly grin formed across the Doctor’s face. ‘Oh, you beauty,’ he muttered.
The Snorkack froze before bolting right under the sheets and hiding beneath a trolley. Tiny eyes peered out at them over a long horn.
‘Drat.’ The Doctor looked crestfallen. ‘Now how’re we going to coax it out?’
It was Piper’s turn to grin. ‘I don’t suppose you’ve got any sort of musical instrument on you, have you?’ he asked.
To his amazement the Doctor, after only a few seconds’ searching through pockets, drew out a small recorder.
‘Just an old thing,’ the Doctor shrugged, ‘I was fooling around with it earlier. Something I used to play a long time ago. I say ‘I’ - I was quite a different man then. But that’s a long story. A very long one.’ He watched curiously as Piper fiddled with the instrument a little before raising it to his lips. ‘Something of a snake charmer, are we?’
‘Something,’ Piper said smugly, before beginning to play.
It only took a few bars before the Snorkack’s head crept out from its hidey-hole, and not much longer before it was fully out and nuzzling Piper’s knee.
‘Do you think you can persuade it to follow us back to the TARDIS?’ the Doctor asked softly.
Piper raised a questioning eyebrow as he continued to play.
‘My blue box,’ the Doctor clarified. Piper nodded. ‘Let’s go then.’
The Snorkack followed them quite docilely back to the cell, enthralled by Piper’s tunes. It dribbled a bit on his trousers and Piper sincerely hoped that would wash off, not for any care of the prison-issue outfit but because he’d already heard all the jokes without bright pink stains on his clothing. The Doctor unlocked the door of his blue box - the TARDIS - and leant against the side, giving Piper a look that he could only interpret as inviting.
‘Want to come? That Snorkack’s taken quite a shine to you.’
‘Where to?’ There were a lot of places Piper didn’t want to go to, people he didn’t want to see.
‘Anywhere. And I mean anywhere. And anytime too. There’s a whole universe out there.’
Piper only gave it a moment’s thought. Away from everything sounded like a damn good idea. ‘Hell, why not?’
The Doctor’s grin was the widest Piper had yet seen it. ‘Fantastic! You going to love it, I swear.’
Piper did his best not to let his expectations rise too much. ‘I’d better.’ And he’d better hold back on the flirting, he scolded himself. ‘Where to first?’
‘England. There’s a young lady I promised the Snorkack to…’
Piper followed him through the door. The last sound in the prison cell was his voice as the door swung shut.
‘Man, that’s some interior decorator you’ve got working for you…’
To Be Continued???
Rating: G
Word Count: 1299
Characters: Piper, the Doctor
Fandom: DC Comics, Doctor Who
Summary: Piper just wanted a quiet night in his cell. But when a handsome stranger suddenly appears … well …
Notes: This one’s been living in my head for ages. There may yet be more to come.
He heard it before it appeared, of course. Iron Heights was quiet at nights. An odd, utterly distant sound trembled in his implants before resolving into a grinding, scraping sound that peaked with the appearance of … what the hell was a police box when it was at home?
Piper sat warily on the hard bed and watched. He liked his nice, quiet cell, even if it was in Iron Heights. There weren’t superheroes or supervillains or psychopathic weirdoes in purple robes. He could sit and listen to the music in his head and not have to worry about terrifyingly huge powers that he could have sworn he had never had before.
There was something in the box, he mused. It hummed idly, a susurration that rose and fell very gently. Some sort of machine then. He relaxed. It sounded friendly, as odd as that seemed. He was, however, startled when the door opened and a man stuck his head out. Must have been cramped in there, Piper thought.
‘Excuse me,’ the man said, ‘you haven’t seen a Crumple-Horned Snorkack, have you? About so high,’ he waved a hand at the level of his navel, ‘covered in blue hair, rather squashed-looking horn on the front end, probably leaving a trail of pink dribble?’
Piper blinked. ‘Um, no. Not much traffic through here, to be honest.’
The man seemed to notice their surroundings, gazing around with apparent interest. ‘Ah. I see. To be honest, I don’t usually end up in a prison cell until I’ve been on a planet at least five minutes. I think this is a new record for me. I’m the Doctor, by the way. Nice to meet you.’ He held out a hand.
Piper stared for a moment before shaking the proffered hand quickly. ‘Piper,’ he replied.
‘Just Piper?’
‘Just the Doctor?’
Was he flirting with the man barely seconds after he - how had that thing appeared anyway? - apparated or whatever into his secluded little cell? God, he must be desperate. The Doctor seemed a bit skinny for his usual, though the suit was a nice touch. No need for him to throw himself at the first man through the door (all right, not technically through the door) not in a guard’s uniform.
The Doctor grinned, showing a lot of teeth. ‘Oh, I like you. Want to hunt Snorkack with me?’
‘We’re locked in a cell.’ Piper felt the need to point this out.
‘Oh, that’s never bothered me before.’ The Doctor pulled out a slim device from his pocket and aimed it casually over his shoulder. ‘Well, not usually for long.’ A short buzz (the frequency of which Piper immediately memorised) and the lock clicked open. The Doctor raised an eyebrow at Piper, clearly expecting him to be impressed.
‘A sonic lockpick?’ Piper drawled. ‘Not bad.’
‘It’s a sonic screwdriver, actually,’ the Doctor said, tucking it away a tad sniffily and heading for the door. ‘And what do you mean “not bad”?’
Piper followed. It beat sitting on his ass in a cell and besides, this was the most conversation he’d had in months. ‘I’ve seen better when it comes to sonics.’
‘Better?’
‘It wasn’t exactly tuneful, was it? Quick buzz and that’s it? Nothing wrong with a nice melody.’
They were heading down the darkened corridor now, Piper hurrying to keep up with the Doctor’s long strides. Somehow he wasn’t worrying about any of the guards catching him out of his cell. He was planning on going back, after all, and it wasn’t as if he’d been reluctant on going in in the first place. This was just an excursion. And he was curious about the man’s sonic toy as well.
‘Ah hah!’ exclaimed the Doctor, dropping to his knees on the floor.
From the thoughts suddenly running through his mind, Piper knew he really needed to get laid soon.
The Doctor was wiping something off the floor with his fingers. It looked pink and gooey. The Doctor examined it, sniffed it and then-
‘You’re not going to …’ Piper began, but it was too late.
‘That’ll be our Snorkack,’ the Doctor announced proudly. ‘Tastes kind of … Swedish. Meatballs and pre-packed furniture, kind of thing.’
Piper, whose Swedish knowledge began and ended with a rather rippling man named Sven, shrugged.
‘It went this way!’ The Doctor took off again, faster this time.
Piper shrugged and went after him. The man was clearly bonkers and someone had to keep an eye on him.
They came to a halt somewhere in the prison laundry. It was dark and quiet in there, silent piles of sheets and empty washing machines the only witnesses. There was something moving in there though; Piper could hear it snuffling away at the back.
‘Over there,’ he whispered, pointing.
The Doctor looked surprised but followed his direction. Soon they could just about make out blue fur hidden among a heap of dirty sheets. It moved as the creature rooted among the linen, tugging at the sheets around it.
A big, silly grin formed across the Doctor’s face. ‘Oh, you beauty,’ he muttered.
The Snorkack froze before bolting right under the sheets and hiding beneath a trolley. Tiny eyes peered out at them over a long horn.
‘Drat.’ The Doctor looked crestfallen. ‘Now how’re we going to coax it out?’
It was Piper’s turn to grin. ‘I don’t suppose you’ve got any sort of musical instrument on you, have you?’ he asked.
To his amazement the Doctor, after only a few seconds’ searching through pockets, drew out a small recorder.
‘Just an old thing,’ the Doctor shrugged, ‘I was fooling around with it earlier. Something I used to play a long time ago. I say ‘I’ - I was quite a different man then. But that’s a long story. A very long one.’ He watched curiously as Piper fiddled with the instrument a little before raising it to his lips. ‘Something of a snake charmer, are we?’
‘Something,’ Piper said smugly, before beginning to play.
It only took a few bars before the Snorkack’s head crept out from its hidey-hole, and not much longer before it was fully out and nuzzling Piper’s knee.
‘Do you think you can persuade it to follow us back to the TARDIS?’ the Doctor asked softly.
Piper raised a questioning eyebrow as he continued to play.
‘My blue box,’ the Doctor clarified. Piper nodded. ‘Let’s go then.’
The Snorkack followed them quite docilely back to the cell, enthralled by Piper’s tunes. It dribbled a bit on his trousers and Piper sincerely hoped that would wash off, not for any care of the prison-issue outfit but because he’d already heard all the jokes without bright pink stains on his clothing. The Doctor unlocked the door of his blue box - the TARDIS - and leant against the side, giving Piper a look that he could only interpret as inviting.
‘Want to come? That Snorkack’s taken quite a shine to you.’
‘Where to?’ There were a lot of places Piper didn’t want to go to, people he didn’t want to see.
‘Anywhere. And I mean anywhere. And anytime too. There’s a whole universe out there.’
Piper only gave it a moment’s thought. Away from everything sounded like a damn good idea. ‘Hell, why not?’
The Doctor’s grin was the widest Piper had yet seen it. ‘Fantastic! You going to love it, I swear.’
Piper did his best not to let his expectations rise too much. ‘I’d better.’ And he’d better hold back on the flirting, he scolded himself. ‘Where to first?’
‘England. There’s a young lady I promised the Snorkack to…’
Piper followed him through the door. The last sound in the prison cell was his voice as the door swung shut.
‘Man, that’s some interior decorator you’ve got working for you…’
To Be Continued???