Fic: The Days Are Just Packed
Yeahhhhh this one took a while, due to a combination of job-loss depression and plot convolutions. Nevertheless, here is the next chapter of the Happyverse.
To remind, the Happyverse is an AU of mine, inspired by canon events but not closely following them. It picks up and explores the theme I toyed with in Nothing Left to Lose, of Piper and Trickster being a fulcrum on which the universe's balance of good and evil tips. Happyverse explores how things might have gone had the characters chosen the road not taken, and hooked up.
Previously in the Happyverse:
Ballroom Blitz
Kris Kringle
Hart and Soul
Winds of Change
Across a Crowded Room
Night Court
Little Arrows
Parental Controls
Past Tense
Neutral Territory
Camel's Back, pt 1
Camel's Back, pt 2
Night Court 2
Ch-ch-changes
.....Man that's a lot of fics o.O And here's another one ^_^
Title: The Days Are Just Packed
Author: Katzedecimal
Characters: Pipster, Kid Flash, Green Arrow
Rating: R for sappy Romance
Summary: When you stir the pot, things start to bubble to the surface.
Halloween. As a child, Hartley had never really been allowed to participate. The one time he and his sister had been allowed to try trick-or-treating, they had gone out with a bevy of armed body guards. It had been so un-fun, they'd gone home after only three blocks -- where every piece of candy they'd obtained had been confiscated and taken for testing.
As an adult, he'd given out candy and enjoyed the bit of fun of answering the door in his costume. A rare few ("Are you reeeeally the Pied Piper?") got a little demonstration, proving that yes, he really could make them dance for their candy. It was a cute trick for their treats and he took care not to frighten them. After all, it was all in fun.
And then there was Trickster.
He'd turned their house into a haunted house, for which Hartley had provided the scream soundtrack and sound effects. They'd peeled grapes for an hour and molded macaroni brains. They'd brewed buckets of fake blood and poured dozens of panes of sugar glass. They'd spent a fortune on candy - then directed them to the dentist two blocks down, who was giving away tooth care kits. For reasons Hartley did not understand, those seemed to be extremely popular among the kids.
Of which there was no shortage, now. They flocked to the house in droves. James had done this many times before - heck it was half of why he had bought this house! Then Hartley had joined in and the kids just loved the thrill of meeting the super-villains, the Pied Piper and the Trickster! ("Former super-villains - we've reformed", Hartley assured the parents.)
And they had. James was settling into his new job and was making money doing extra-special special effects for big-budget productions. In his spare time, he helped Hartley in crafting the musical instruments that were rapidly becoming known as the best. Hartley had also been appointed to the board of directors of the homeless shelter, so these days he was as busy as James. And both of them agreed, they had never been happier.
Which is why James was standing in a jeweller's shop in Central City, waiting his turn while a red-headed kid had a black pearl appraised.
"It's twelve o'clock - does Flash know where his sidekick is?"
"GAH!!!! Tri-- James! Hi! I didn't hear you come in."
James, who was floating about a foot off the floor, just grinned. "Where'd you get a pearl of great price?"
Wally grinned, "Why, are you looking to steal more?"
James clutched his hand over his heart theatrically, "Wally, my heart! You wound me! You know I've gone straight... soooooooo to speak." Wally laughed. "Just seems a little out of place, a lad like you with a pearl like that?"
"It's Garth's," Wally admitted, "He finds them. Roy told him they weren't worth much, but then Gambi only took two to pay off Garth's new costume."
"Oh yeah, that's fishy."
"Yeah, that's what we thought," said Wally, who missed the joke entirely, "So we thought maybe we should have a few appraised. But... now we're kinda wondering why Roy's taking Garth's 'trinkets' and telling him they're worthless?"
"Yeahhhhhhh he's not exactly hurting for cash," James said thoughtfully.
"No, he's not," Wally nodded. James knew most of the Titans' identities -- which meant that they were safe with him, because if the Trickster told you he knew one of your secrets, he had no plans to exploit it. It was the secrets he didn't tell you that you had to worry about. "What about you? What brings you here?"
James smiled, "I'm here to pick up a ring."
Wally looked politely puzzled, "A ring? That's interesting. Is it for Piper? He's been looking for rings for a while now. We surfed eGad dozens of times."
"Is that so?" James smiled wider. Well well, great minds thinking alike again? The jeweller brought out a velvet box. James took it and inspected the contents. "Yes, that should do nicely."
"That's different," Wally said, "Think it's what he's looking for?"
James's smile took on a Trickster edge. "Oh yeah... Today's his lucky day." He snapped the box shut. "I gotta go now. Good to see you, kiddo, and thanks for the help!"
"Um... sure? Don't mention it..." Wally said, wondering what he did.
After paying for the ring, James pocketed the box and left the shop. As he walked, he pulled out his cell phone and pressed a speed-dial number. "Yeah... Jesse here... I found out where those jewels are coming from. Oh yeah? Well how 'bout that. Must be my lucky day."
* * * *
That was morning. Now it was nearly midnight, in the playground of the park near their house. They were chasing each other on the round-about, still in their costumes although James had taken off his mask. He pushed the round-about, running to get speed, then hopped on and kissed Hartley while the world span around them.
"Most fun Halloween ever," Hartley smiled, "It's never really been fun."
"It's supposed to be. Halloween is a time for tricksters and tomfoolery. I love it, it's my second favorite holiday. Seeing a little kid dressed as Batman receiving his candy with a gap-toothed smile? - It's special."
Hartley smirked, "Seeing the expressions on those teenagers when you started singing 'Flash is a prick' to the tune of 'Kyle's Mom is a Bitch'..."
"That's special too," James laughed.
"I still say some of those guys were too old to be trick-or-treating."
James scoffed, "No such thing! Never too old to put on a costume, pull tricks or give treats. Speaking of..."
"What, are you planning on covering me with candy and turning me into dessert again?" Hartley teased, then he saw the box James was offering him, "Oh.....!"
"It's not exactly the bronze ring on the merry-go-round but it's close enough, do you think?"
"wh..Wha...?" Hartley held the ring up to the moonlight. Not brass but gold, made to look like the spit valve from a brass instrument.
"Getting the bronze ring on the merry-go-round -- it's a symbol of lovers and more than a little luck," James explained, "The best part is it works like a regular spit valve so you can adjust it to whatever finger you want to put it on."
"Which one should I put it on?" Piper asked and was a bit surprised when James looked at the ground, mumbling and scratching his head. Hardly daring to hope, he asked, "...This one?"
James smiled brightly. Hartley slid the ring onto his left ring finger then threw his arms around James and snogged him to within an inch of his life. "It never works out this long or this well," James said breathlessly, "Even that thing at the bar, it may be me but not you. It never works out this well and I never cared about those things before, never had to. Never wanted to."
Hartley gazed at him with a mushy smile and cupped his cheek, "Oh, James.... Even though you drive me crazy, you make me so happy."
"It's shaped like a spit valve for all those times I make you spit-take with my antics," James grinned and kissed his lover soulfully. "One last thing..." he said, sobering, "I pulled a job. Your dowry's been paid, as it were."
Piper blinked, "Wh..what?"
"Your parents' launderers. The deeper bases of their money had of all the clichéd things of Italian mob ties. I know where your tally was; I took from them enough, stopping one of that crowd's more illicit markets. It was partly for a 'friend of a friend.'" James took Hartley's hands in his and cupped them to his chest, "Your weird debt thing to your parents is paid -- Stop living your life in spite of them and do what you want to be doing for yourself. I want to see you happy."
"James... You didn't have to get involved like that..."
James ignored that. "Wow, this was way easier than I thought! I'm almost expecting some idiot like Digger to run out and say 'No you can't have him, I love him, he's mine!' or something."
Hartley laughed, "No, I don't think so."
"No secret stormy rendez-vous with Mark I need to worry about?" James says with mock concern.
"Oh god no! Mark's cute but so not my type."
"No quickies with the Flash?"
Piper laughed outright, "Me and Flash???? Ewwwwwwwww!!!"
James swung them around on the round-about again then nibbled Hartley's ear and teased, "Just letting you know I don't wanna catch you slipping into the Flash's pants even if we're going herooooooh um 'social activists'?"
"Forget it forget it forget it, not even if you paid me. Flash??? Gah, no way man, besides there'd be no room for me, his buttplug is too big."
James howled with laughter and kissed Hartley with everything he had.
* * * *
Hartley jerked awake. He pulled out the earplugs that he wore to keep every little thing from disturbing his sleep, and listened intently, wondering what had wakened him.
"I don't want to go, please, you know what they are..."
Hartley looked around. James...
"If I go to their caravan I swear- I'm not going to come back... you can just... just..."
Another night terror, Hartley thought. James had them occasionally, intense nightmares without the usual dreamlocks that kept a person from acting them out. James talked in his sleep and the pictures painted by his dreams were disturbing.
"...but I thought you were- okay so you aren't ? whaat oh god the caravan what is happening? but I thought that was repaired?"
Hartley bit off a yelp, smacked by a thrashing arm. He pulled it down and stroked James soothingly, listening to the wails of Italian mixed with English, reflecting James's confused state.
"ahh god it hurts it's too heavy - I know we'll all fall if we don't detach but.. I know I'm I'm so sorry. stop- stop it I don't want to hear you please I'm trying I'm trying... they're flying shoes.. I don't have super strength... my arm ahhh!!!"
He was trying to save them, Hartley thought. He stroked James's hair and his lover's eyes abruptly snapped open.
"I can't.... please they... they're still...hhhuuuuwhat?" James gasped for breath and swallowed several times.
Hartley's hand was warm and soft on his fingers. "You okay?" he asked very softly.
James panted a few more times, confused, "i-they weren't good people but I tried until it hurt.."
"I know," Hartley said gently, squeezing James's fingers.
"...the caravan- they were already well over, I flew out tried to pull them up, they wouldn't leave their car..."
And if they had, you probably could have carried them to safety, Hartley thought. James did mention 'drunken caravan driving' -- it's possible they just didn't register how bad the situation was. But he said nothing, only reached out to stroke his lover's cheek.
James swallowed, more coherent now. "You're good, right? Were you sleeping?"
Hartley nodded, "I'm alright."
"Diiiiiid I wake you up? What time is it?"
"It's a little after four AM. I'm okay, I woke up because you needed me."
"Yeah... I do."
* * * *
Oliver Queen was not having a good day. Between the protesters, the arguments in city council, the transit strike, the press conference and the coffee machine on the blink, he was ready to start bonking heads. Then the urinal wouldn't flush. This day can't possibly get any worse, he thought as he opened the door to his office.
There was a man in a gaudy striped costume, blue cloak and pixie shoes perched on his desk, playing with a yo-yo. I really gotta stop saying that, it's just issuing a challenge. He sternly resisted the urge to facepalm and asked, "What are you doing here? Flash stop returning your calls?"
The clownish man grinned widely, "He did. When he heard I had given my heart to another, he was so overcome with grief, he no longer speaks to me."
Oliver snorted, "So, what, are you looking to relocate your villainy to Star City?"
"Mr. Queen, please," Trickster pouted, "Haven't you heard? I've reformed, I've given up my thieving ways. Maybe I could go on a lecture circuit?"
"What? Do? You? Want?"
"You and your kid, you protected Piper's little sister," Trickster replied, flipping the yo-yo, "You helped Piper, so now I help you. The FBI are looking deeper into your connections with Ozzie Rathaway."
"I don't have any connections to Osgood Rathaway," Oliver grated.
"That you know about," Trickster said.
"Osgood Rathaway is a thug in a suit," Oliver snapped, "The man's morals make Luthor look like a humanitarian. And his son is abetting him!"
Vzzz vzzz vzzz went the yo-yo. "You've seen his son in action. Does he seem the type who would knowingly finance crap like that?"
The silence drew out, tense and thick, disturbed only by the yo-yo. "...No," Oliver admitted finally, "No, he didn't. He struck me as surprisingly honest, for a super-villain."
"Good," Trickster smiled, "'Cause he doesn't know. Just like you. We never want to look too deeply when it's our own families, even when we suspect."
He walked the dog and the buzzing of the yo-yo cut through the leaden silence like a saw. "Just what are you saying, Trickster?"
"His grades haven't been so good lately and he's been sleeping a lot. Despite the allowance you give him, he kept asking for money, until recently when he stopped. And he's been real aggressive lately. It's starting to look bad on Green Arrow... isn't it." Oliver stared hard then looked away. "He started stealing from the stash of jewels that Aqualad keeps to trade for currency."
Oliver looked away again, "..... I see."
"Figure you were better learning about it from the man in stripes than the Men In Black." Trickster looped the yo-yo into a rocking-cradle. "Sonic yo-yo. Distorts sound waves, disrupts electronics. One of the many advantages to having a sonics genius for a fiancé."
My office is bugged, Oliver realised. He wiped a hand down his face, smoothing down his beard. "I see. Thank you. Yes, I... would not have liked to have learned about this the... other way."
Trickster smiled again. He snapped the yo-yo up and put it in Oliver's hand, then reached into a pocket and took out a small card. "There's another reason why I'm here."
Oliver read it and smirked, "I noticed the word 'fiancé.' Very well, 'Mr. Ricardo', since I owe you a favour anyways. Do you have a date and time in mind?"
* * * *
It was late in the evening and the music was seeping through. Hartley lay on sofa, cuddling his man and his rats, stroking their furry bellies and singing to them softly -- the man, as well as the rats. The phone rang and he looked up, then scowled when he saw the caller ID. "What do you want?" he snapped, irritated to have his cozy we-time disturbed, "No, it isn't any way to greet my mother, it's the way to greet you, now what do you want? Yessss and? So? .... So? ...... And your point would be what? .....Well consider it your dowry payment for me. ... You heard me. Yes, I'm fully aware of what 'dowry' means, it means I'm not your problem anymore!"
James grinned then leeeeeaned over to nom on Hartley's neck.
"Yes yes yes, I know. I KNOW! So what does this tell us? God you are thick. It's no wonder I'm so stupid, I get it from you. It means my boyfriend asked me to marry him!! ...Well then we'll just have to go to Amsterdam, won't we. Or maybe Canada."
"Actually there's a place here in America that'll marry us," James said around Hartley's ear.
"Yes. Yeah, that would be him," Hartley jerked the phone away as his mother audibly shrieked, "Hartley, you can't marry a super-villain!?!"
"Social activists now that his debt is through with you," James replied cheerily.
Hartley grinned at him. "Yes that was my boyfriend.. fiancé now, I guess. No." He rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh, "No, Mother, he's not a murderer, get real, as if I'd ever have anything to do with a murderer. No. No. Yeah. Yeah, he does... " Piper's voice and expression grew softer and more puzzled, "Yeah... no, he's really sweet to me... No.. He's an awesome cook. No..." His fingers slipped into James's hair with a tender expression, "No.. Yeah, we've fought a few times, it's alright... No... No, he likes my rats, he dressed them up in little costumes for Halloween... Yeah! No... ............. really? You'd want to....? oh..kay.... I mean, we haven't set a date yet, obviously... um... Thanks... Right........ Sure, put her on...."
James looked up from twirling his tongue around Hartley's nipple. "What's up?"
"She asked if you made me happy," Piper said, baffled, "She asked if you treated me well... James, she never says things like that, never. She's never expressed any interest in my personal life."
"Maybe she realized this is one of the only times that she's going to get to say this and not feel like scum for it," James said seriously.
"She wants to help us plan our H'lo?" Piper pulled the phone back at an ear-splitting squeal of "Hartleeeeeeeey!!!!!" He laughed, "Hi Jerrie! ..I'm fine, sweetie, how are you? Yeah? Yeah... Did Mommy tell you? I'm going to get married. Yeah! You remember James?" Hartley pulled the phone away from his ear again, the loud squeal very audible. "Yeah, I am." He laughed, "No, sweetie, no dress, but I will have a nice suit. Mm-hmm. That's right. Aww, thanks, sweetie... Yup.. Let me talk to Mommy again, okay? Don't hang up, okay, Jerrie? Okay. I love you too. Okay, sweetie.. Let me talk to Mommy again, okay, don't hang--*" Piper rolled his eyes and shook his head with a grin. The phone rang again. "H'lo? yeahhhhh well.. She's Jerrie..."
James had stopped to laugh loudly. Damn he liked Piper's little sister, the girl was adorable. He leaned his head in the hollow of Hartley's neck, feeling the man's pulse against his cheek.
"Mm-hmm.. Yeah... Yup. Yeah, when I have the exact date and time... yeah... Yeah, okay... WHOOPS!!! Oh god, Jerrie must've blabbed.. yeahhhhhh maybe... " Piper's face changed abruptly as a male voice barked out the phone speaker, "..... Nice to hear from you too, Dad."
"Hi Dad!" Tricks chimed in, grinning.
"Mmmmmm, no, I believe the word you're looking for is 'fiancé.' Nooooooooo. No. No. No. NO. Well not everyone is as stuck-up as you are."
James could see Hartley tensing and moved to massage his lover's shoulders reassuringly.
"Well if the way my life has been turning lately is any indication, it would seem that God does not agree with you. No. No. Look, if you're going to behave like this, then you're not invited, simple. Mom can make up her own mind. She's got legs, y'know...." He smirked and signed 'I know she spreads 'em enough' to James, who grinned widely. "And you think I care why? Yeahhhh no. No. NO!" Then Hartley went sheet white and cold with rage as the phone slammed down at the other end.
"What happened?"
Hartley was trembling, trying to control tears. When he could speak, his voice was weak and shakey, "....he said he hopes I die of AIDS." He turned and curled up against his lover, burying his face into the fur of Trickster's chest. James loves him, James wants him, James, who wants to spend the rest of his life together with him... His breath hitched into quiet sobs.
James held him close and began to sing a lullaby in Italian.
* * * *
The phone rang and the familiar answering machine message played. "Hartley? It's Mother." Even to herself, Rachel's voice sounded upset and unsteady. "I... Don't let your father ruin your special moment. I'm happy for you and I will be there to see your wedding, whether Osgood likes it or not. Just... just let me know, okay? Please? I love you, Hartley..."
She broke off at a click. After a long pause, a voice with a slight Italian accent said, "He's asleep."
"Oh... James, right? Hello.. "
"Hi. Your husband's lucky my fiancé doesn't want me villaining anymore because I totally could for a stunt like that."
"..... right now I wouldn't blame you if you did," Rachel said, "I'm... I don't know what to say. I can assure you, I do not share Osgood's opinion."
"Good to know. I know this tailor, really good, was wondering whether we could get him to do up Jerrie as our flower girl?"
"What? Oh... er,yes... she'd be delighted, but... it.... won't be legally recognised, will it?"
"I have a house in Star City."
Rachel blinked, "Oh!" She thought about that for a moment then her voice took on a note of determination, "Well in any case, we will certainly be there, if you want us to."
"Sure, hell of a lot more fun if the two of us aren't the only lawbreakers at the party."
There was a shocked silence, then Rachel's voice was harder, "Are you implying something, Mr. James?"
"Am I now- Call it courtesy. The FBI are watching you and your husband, be careful. Piper would look like a kicked puppy if you got arrested."
"W-what?"
"Parts of your house are bugged, like Ozzie's office. A call to anywhere but this house and every word you say is being heard by Big Brother."
"But... why? What for?" Rachel sounded mystified.
"If you don't know, dear, don't ask your husband but look at your checkbooks. Old money is hardly ever clean but you may notice some more blood on your bills than you'd imagined."
Rachel was silent for some time. She'd have rejected it outright but lately Osgood had been acting... not so good. "....I see."
"Watch yourself, watch your kid. I watch Piper now."
".......................thank you."
"On the positive, anything interesting?"
"......... I'm starting to see what Hartley means about Osgood."
"Wonderful. Always good to see someone through another's eyes, and Hartley has such pretty eyes. You're a doll, sleep well, Piper is stirring and needs hugs."
"James... thank you for taking care of my son. He seems happy."
"He is. Good night."
To remind, the Happyverse is an AU of mine, inspired by canon events but not closely following them. It picks up and explores the theme I toyed with in Nothing Left to Lose, of Piper and Trickster being a fulcrum on which the universe's balance of good and evil tips. Happyverse explores how things might have gone had the characters chosen the road not taken, and hooked up.
Previously in the Happyverse:
Ballroom Blitz
Kris Kringle
Hart and Soul
Winds of Change
Across a Crowded Room
Night Court
Little Arrows
Parental Controls
Past Tense
Neutral Territory
Camel's Back, pt 1
Camel's Back, pt 2
Night Court 2
Ch-ch-changes
.....Man that's a lot of fics o.O And here's another one ^_^
Title: The Days Are Just Packed
Author: Katzedecimal
Characters: Pipster, Kid Flash, Green Arrow
Rating: R for sappy Romance
Summary: When you stir the pot, things start to bubble to the surface.
Halloween. As a child, Hartley had never really been allowed to participate. The one time he and his sister had been allowed to try trick-or-treating, they had gone out with a bevy of armed body guards. It had been so un-fun, they'd gone home after only three blocks -- where every piece of candy they'd obtained had been confiscated and taken for testing.
As an adult, he'd given out candy and enjoyed the bit of fun of answering the door in his costume. A rare few ("Are you reeeeally the Pied Piper?") got a little demonstration, proving that yes, he really could make them dance for their candy. It was a cute trick for their treats and he took care not to frighten them. After all, it was all in fun.
And then there was Trickster.
He'd turned their house into a haunted house, for which Hartley had provided the scream soundtrack and sound effects. They'd peeled grapes for an hour and molded macaroni brains. They'd brewed buckets of fake blood and poured dozens of panes of sugar glass. They'd spent a fortune on candy - then directed them to the dentist two blocks down, who was giving away tooth care kits. For reasons Hartley did not understand, those seemed to be extremely popular among the kids.
Of which there was no shortage, now. They flocked to the house in droves. James had done this many times before - heck it was half of why he had bought this house! Then Hartley had joined in and the kids just loved the thrill of meeting the super-villains, the Pied Piper and the Trickster! ("Former super-villains - we've reformed", Hartley assured the parents.)
And they had. James was settling into his new job and was making money doing extra-special special effects for big-budget productions. In his spare time, he helped Hartley in crafting the musical instruments that were rapidly becoming known as the best. Hartley had also been appointed to the board of directors of the homeless shelter, so these days he was as busy as James. And both of them agreed, they had never been happier.
Which is why James was standing in a jeweller's shop in Central City, waiting his turn while a red-headed kid had a black pearl appraised.
"It's twelve o'clock - does Flash know where his sidekick is?"
"GAH!!!! Tri-- James! Hi! I didn't hear you come in."
James, who was floating about a foot off the floor, just grinned. "Where'd you get a pearl of great price?"
Wally grinned, "Why, are you looking to steal more?"
James clutched his hand over his heart theatrically, "Wally, my heart! You wound me! You know I've gone straight... soooooooo to speak." Wally laughed. "Just seems a little out of place, a lad like you with a pearl like that?"
"It's Garth's," Wally admitted, "He finds them. Roy told him they weren't worth much, but then Gambi only took two to pay off Garth's new costume."
"Oh yeah, that's fishy."
"Yeah, that's what we thought," said Wally, who missed the joke entirely, "So we thought maybe we should have a few appraised. But... now we're kinda wondering why Roy's taking Garth's 'trinkets' and telling him they're worthless?"
"Yeahhhhhhh he's not exactly hurting for cash," James said thoughtfully.
"No, he's not," Wally nodded. James knew most of the Titans' identities -- which meant that they were safe with him, because if the Trickster told you he knew one of your secrets, he had no plans to exploit it. It was the secrets he didn't tell you that you had to worry about. "What about you? What brings you here?"
James smiled, "I'm here to pick up a ring."
Wally looked politely puzzled, "A ring? That's interesting. Is it for Piper? He's been looking for rings for a while now. We surfed eGad dozens of times."
"Is that so?" James smiled wider. Well well, great minds thinking alike again? The jeweller brought out a velvet box. James took it and inspected the contents. "Yes, that should do nicely."
"That's different," Wally said, "Think it's what he's looking for?"
James's smile took on a Trickster edge. "Oh yeah... Today's his lucky day." He snapped the box shut. "I gotta go now. Good to see you, kiddo, and thanks for the help!"
"Um... sure? Don't mention it..." Wally said, wondering what he did.
After paying for the ring, James pocketed the box and left the shop. As he walked, he pulled out his cell phone and pressed a speed-dial number. "Yeah... Jesse here... I found out where those jewels are coming from. Oh yeah? Well how 'bout that. Must be my lucky day."
* * * *
That was morning. Now it was nearly midnight, in the playground of the park near their house. They were chasing each other on the round-about, still in their costumes although James had taken off his mask. He pushed the round-about, running to get speed, then hopped on and kissed Hartley while the world span around them.
"Most fun Halloween ever," Hartley smiled, "It's never really been fun."
"It's supposed to be. Halloween is a time for tricksters and tomfoolery. I love it, it's my second favorite holiday. Seeing a little kid dressed as Batman receiving his candy with a gap-toothed smile? - It's special."
Hartley smirked, "Seeing the expressions on those teenagers when you started singing 'Flash is a prick' to the tune of 'Kyle's Mom is a Bitch'..."
"That's special too," James laughed.
"I still say some of those guys were too old to be trick-or-treating."
James scoffed, "No such thing! Never too old to put on a costume, pull tricks or give treats. Speaking of..."
"What, are you planning on covering me with candy and turning me into dessert again?" Hartley teased, then he saw the box James was offering him, "Oh.....!"
"It's not exactly the bronze ring on the merry-go-round but it's close enough, do you think?"
"wh..Wha...?" Hartley held the ring up to the moonlight. Not brass but gold, made to look like the spit valve from a brass instrument.
"Getting the bronze ring on the merry-go-round -- it's a symbol of lovers and more than a little luck," James explained, "The best part is it works like a regular spit valve so you can adjust it to whatever finger you want to put it on."
"Which one should I put it on?" Piper asked and was a bit surprised when James looked at the ground, mumbling and scratching his head. Hardly daring to hope, he asked, "...This one?"
James smiled brightly. Hartley slid the ring onto his left ring finger then threw his arms around James and snogged him to within an inch of his life. "It never works out this long or this well," James said breathlessly, "Even that thing at the bar, it may be me but not you. It never works out this well and I never cared about those things before, never had to. Never wanted to."
Hartley gazed at him with a mushy smile and cupped his cheek, "Oh, James.... Even though you drive me crazy, you make me so happy."
"It's shaped like a spit valve for all those times I make you spit-take with my antics," James grinned and kissed his lover soulfully. "One last thing..." he said, sobering, "I pulled a job. Your dowry's been paid, as it were."
Piper blinked, "Wh..what?"
"Your parents' launderers. The deeper bases of their money had of all the clichéd things of Italian mob ties. I know where your tally was; I took from them enough, stopping one of that crowd's more illicit markets. It was partly for a 'friend of a friend.'" James took Hartley's hands in his and cupped them to his chest, "Your weird debt thing to your parents is paid -- Stop living your life in spite of them and do what you want to be doing for yourself. I want to see you happy."
"James... You didn't have to get involved like that..."
James ignored that. "Wow, this was way easier than I thought! I'm almost expecting some idiot like Digger to run out and say 'No you can't have him, I love him, he's mine!' or something."
Hartley laughed, "No, I don't think so."
"No secret stormy rendez-vous with Mark I need to worry about?" James says with mock concern.
"Oh god no! Mark's cute but so not my type."
"No quickies with the Flash?"
Piper laughed outright, "Me and Flash???? Ewwwwwwwww!!!"
James swung them around on the round-about again then nibbled Hartley's ear and teased, "Just letting you know I don't wanna catch you slipping into the Flash's pants even if we're going herooooooh um 'social activists'?"
"Forget it forget it forget it, not even if you paid me. Flash??? Gah, no way man, besides there'd be no room for me, his buttplug is too big."
James howled with laughter and kissed Hartley with everything he had.
* * * *
Hartley jerked awake. He pulled out the earplugs that he wore to keep every little thing from disturbing his sleep, and listened intently, wondering what had wakened him.
"I don't want to go, please, you know what they are..."
Hartley looked around. James...
"If I go to their caravan I swear- I'm not going to come back... you can just... just..."
Another night terror, Hartley thought. James had them occasionally, intense nightmares without the usual dreamlocks that kept a person from acting them out. James talked in his sleep and the pictures painted by his dreams were disturbing.
"...but I thought you were- okay so you aren't ? whaat oh god the caravan what is happening? but I thought that was repaired?"
Hartley bit off a yelp, smacked by a thrashing arm. He pulled it down and stroked James soothingly, listening to the wails of Italian mixed with English, reflecting James's confused state.
"ahh god it hurts it's too heavy - I know we'll all fall if we don't detach but.. I know I'm I'm so sorry. stop- stop it I don't want to hear you please I'm trying I'm trying... they're flying shoes.. I don't have super strength... my arm ahhh!!!"
He was trying to save them, Hartley thought. He stroked James's hair and his lover's eyes abruptly snapped open.
"I can't.... please they... they're still...hhhuuuuwhat?" James gasped for breath and swallowed several times.
Hartley's hand was warm and soft on his fingers. "You okay?" he asked very softly.
James panted a few more times, confused, "i-they weren't good people but I tried until it hurt.."
"I know," Hartley said gently, squeezing James's fingers.
"...the caravan- they were already well over, I flew out tried to pull them up, they wouldn't leave their car..."
And if they had, you probably could have carried them to safety, Hartley thought. James did mention 'drunken caravan driving' -- it's possible they just didn't register how bad the situation was. But he said nothing, only reached out to stroke his lover's cheek.
James swallowed, more coherent now. "You're good, right? Were you sleeping?"
Hartley nodded, "I'm alright."
"Diiiiiid I wake you up? What time is it?"
"It's a little after four AM. I'm okay, I woke up because you needed me."
"Yeah... I do."
* * * *
Oliver Queen was not having a good day. Between the protesters, the arguments in city council, the transit strike, the press conference and the coffee machine on the blink, he was ready to start bonking heads. Then the urinal wouldn't flush. This day can't possibly get any worse, he thought as he opened the door to his office.
There was a man in a gaudy striped costume, blue cloak and pixie shoes perched on his desk, playing with a yo-yo. I really gotta stop saying that, it's just issuing a challenge. He sternly resisted the urge to facepalm and asked, "What are you doing here? Flash stop returning your calls?"
The clownish man grinned widely, "He did. When he heard I had given my heart to another, he was so overcome with grief, he no longer speaks to me."
Oliver snorted, "So, what, are you looking to relocate your villainy to Star City?"
"Mr. Queen, please," Trickster pouted, "Haven't you heard? I've reformed, I've given up my thieving ways. Maybe I could go on a lecture circuit?"
"What? Do? You? Want?"
"You and your kid, you protected Piper's little sister," Trickster replied, flipping the yo-yo, "You helped Piper, so now I help you. The FBI are looking deeper into your connections with Ozzie Rathaway."
"I don't have any connections to Osgood Rathaway," Oliver grated.
"That you know about," Trickster said.
"Osgood Rathaway is a thug in a suit," Oliver snapped, "The man's morals make Luthor look like a humanitarian. And his son is abetting him!"
Vzzz vzzz vzzz went the yo-yo. "You've seen his son in action. Does he seem the type who would knowingly finance crap like that?"
The silence drew out, tense and thick, disturbed only by the yo-yo. "...No," Oliver admitted finally, "No, he didn't. He struck me as surprisingly honest, for a super-villain."
"Good," Trickster smiled, "'Cause he doesn't know. Just like you. We never want to look too deeply when it's our own families, even when we suspect."
He walked the dog and the buzzing of the yo-yo cut through the leaden silence like a saw. "Just what are you saying, Trickster?"
"His grades haven't been so good lately and he's been sleeping a lot. Despite the allowance you give him, he kept asking for money, until recently when he stopped. And he's been real aggressive lately. It's starting to look bad on Green Arrow... isn't it." Oliver stared hard then looked away. "He started stealing from the stash of jewels that Aqualad keeps to trade for currency."
Oliver looked away again, "..... I see."
"Figure you were better learning about it from the man in stripes than the Men In Black." Trickster looped the yo-yo into a rocking-cradle. "Sonic yo-yo. Distorts sound waves, disrupts electronics. One of the many advantages to having a sonics genius for a fiancé."
My office is bugged, Oliver realised. He wiped a hand down his face, smoothing down his beard. "I see. Thank you. Yes, I... would not have liked to have learned about this the... other way."
Trickster smiled again. He snapped the yo-yo up and put it in Oliver's hand, then reached into a pocket and took out a small card. "There's another reason why I'm here."
Oliver read it and smirked, "I noticed the word 'fiancé.' Very well, 'Mr. Ricardo', since I owe you a favour anyways. Do you have a date and time in mind?"
* * * *
It was late in the evening and the music was seeping through. Hartley lay on sofa, cuddling his man and his rats, stroking their furry bellies and singing to them softly -- the man, as well as the rats. The phone rang and he looked up, then scowled when he saw the caller ID. "What do you want?" he snapped, irritated to have his cozy we-time disturbed, "No, it isn't any way to greet my mother, it's the way to greet you, now what do you want? Yessss and? So? .... So? ...... And your point would be what? .....Well consider it your dowry payment for me. ... You heard me. Yes, I'm fully aware of what 'dowry' means, it means I'm not your problem anymore!"
James grinned then leeeeeaned over to nom on Hartley's neck.
"Yes yes yes, I know. I KNOW! So what does this tell us? God you are thick. It's no wonder I'm so stupid, I get it from you. It means my boyfriend asked me to marry him!! ...Well then we'll just have to go to Amsterdam, won't we. Or maybe Canada."
"Actually there's a place here in America that'll marry us," James said around Hartley's ear.
"Yes. Yeah, that would be him," Hartley jerked the phone away as his mother audibly shrieked, "Hartley, you can't marry a super-villain!?!"
"Social activists now that his debt is through with you," James replied cheerily.
Hartley grinned at him. "Yes that was my boyfriend.. fiancé now, I guess. No." He rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh, "No, Mother, he's not a murderer, get real, as if I'd ever have anything to do with a murderer. No. No. Yeah. Yeah, he does... " Piper's voice and expression grew softer and more puzzled, "Yeah... no, he's really sweet to me... No.. He's an awesome cook. No..." His fingers slipped into James's hair with a tender expression, "No.. Yeah, we've fought a few times, it's alright... No... No, he likes my rats, he dressed them up in little costumes for Halloween... Yeah! No... ............. really? You'd want to....? oh..kay.... I mean, we haven't set a date yet, obviously... um... Thanks... Right........ Sure, put her on...."
James looked up from twirling his tongue around Hartley's nipple. "What's up?"
"She asked if you made me happy," Piper said, baffled, "She asked if you treated me well... James, she never says things like that, never. She's never expressed any interest in my personal life."
"Maybe she realized this is one of the only times that she's going to get to say this and not feel like scum for it," James said seriously.
"She wants to help us plan our H'lo?" Piper pulled the phone back at an ear-splitting squeal of "Hartleeeeeeeey!!!!!" He laughed, "Hi Jerrie! ..I'm fine, sweetie, how are you? Yeah? Yeah... Did Mommy tell you? I'm going to get married. Yeah! You remember James?" Hartley pulled the phone away from his ear again, the loud squeal very audible. "Yeah, I am." He laughed, "No, sweetie, no dress, but I will have a nice suit. Mm-hmm. That's right. Aww, thanks, sweetie... Yup.. Let me talk to Mommy again, okay? Don't hang up, okay, Jerrie? Okay. I love you too. Okay, sweetie.. Let me talk to Mommy again, okay, don't hang--*" Piper rolled his eyes and shook his head with a grin. The phone rang again. "H'lo? yeahhhhh well.. She's Jerrie..."
James had stopped to laugh loudly. Damn he liked Piper's little sister, the girl was adorable. He leaned his head in the hollow of Hartley's neck, feeling the man's pulse against his cheek.
"Mm-hmm.. Yeah... Yup. Yeah, when I have the exact date and time... yeah... Yeah, okay... WHOOPS!!! Oh god, Jerrie must've blabbed.. yeahhhhhh maybe... " Piper's face changed abruptly as a male voice barked out the phone speaker, "..... Nice to hear from you too, Dad."
"Hi Dad!" Tricks chimed in, grinning.
"Mmmmmm, no, I believe the word you're looking for is 'fiancé.' Nooooooooo. No. No. No. NO. Well not everyone is as stuck-up as you are."
James could see Hartley tensing and moved to massage his lover's shoulders reassuringly.
"Well if the way my life has been turning lately is any indication, it would seem that God does not agree with you. No. No. Look, if you're going to behave like this, then you're not invited, simple. Mom can make up her own mind. She's got legs, y'know...." He smirked and signed 'I know she spreads 'em enough' to James, who grinned widely. "And you think I care why? Yeahhhh no. No. NO!" Then Hartley went sheet white and cold with rage as the phone slammed down at the other end.
"What happened?"
Hartley was trembling, trying to control tears. When he could speak, his voice was weak and shakey, "....he said he hopes I die of AIDS." He turned and curled up against his lover, burying his face into the fur of Trickster's chest. James loves him, James wants him, James, who wants to spend the rest of his life together with him... His breath hitched into quiet sobs.
James held him close and began to sing a lullaby in Italian.
* * * *
The phone rang and the familiar answering machine message played. "Hartley? It's Mother." Even to herself, Rachel's voice sounded upset and unsteady. "I... Don't let your father ruin your special moment. I'm happy for you and I will be there to see your wedding, whether Osgood likes it or not. Just... just let me know, okay? Please? I love you, Hartley..."
She broke off at a click. After a long pause, a voice with a slight Italian accent said, "He's asleep."
"Oh... James, right? Hello.. "
"Hi. Your husband's lucky my fiancé doesn't want me villaining anymore because I totally could for a stunt like that."
"..... right now I wouldn't blame you if you did," Rachel said, "I'm... I don't know what to say. I can assure you, I do not share Osgood's opinion."
"Good to know. I know this tailor, really good, was wondering whether we could get him to do up Jerrie as our flower girl?"
"What? Oh... er,yes... she'd be delighted, but... it.... won't be legally recognised, will it?"
"I have a house in Star City."
Rachel blinked, "Oh!" She thought about that for a moment then her voice took on a note of determination, "Well in any case, we will certainly be there, if you want us to."
"Sure, hell of a lot more fun if the two of us aren't the only lawbreakers at the party."
There was a shocked silence, then Rachel's voice was harder, "Are you implying something, Mr. James?"
"Am I now- Call it courtesy. The FBI are watching you and your husband, be careful. Piper would look like a kicked puppy if you got arrested."
"W-what?"
"Parts of your house are bugged, like Ozzie's office. A call to anywhere but this house and every word you say is being heard by Big Brother."
"But... why? What for?" Rachel sounded mystified.
"If you don't know, dear, don't ask your husband but look at your checkbooks. Old money is hardly ever clean but you may notice some more blood on your bills than you'd imagined."
Rachel was silent for some time. She'd have rejected it outright but lately Osgood had been acting... not so good. "....I see."
"Watch yourself, watch your kid. I watch Piper now."
".......................thank you."
"On the positive, anything interesting?"
"......... I'm starting to see what Hartley means about Osgood."
"Wonderful. Always good to see someone through another's eyes, and Hartley has such pretty eyes. You're a doll, sleep well, Piper is stirring and needs hugs."
"James... thank you for taking care of my son. He seems happy."
"He is. Good night."