Beta?
I've started writing a plot bunny that's been nibbling at me. It's pretty much my fix-it fic for everything I want fixed. Starting with Piper and Trickster. As of this moment, I have a hate/love relationship with it.
I feel I'm getting the voices okay, but my writing isn't up to my standards. So, I'm asking around here to see if anyone'll beta? I've got a prologue started, so I'm going to post a snippet of it to see if anyone would like to help me out.
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His head was pounding, and he felt grains of sand in his hair, which he took as a good sign even though it was uncomfortable. It meant he was alive. He also felt incredibly stifled by the heat around him, but that may not have been a good sign, since the only thing his addled mind could come up with was he had died and went to hell. His heartbeat was beating double time, though- No, that wasn't right; there were two heartbeats he was hearing his own and...
Hartley Rathaway's eyes snapped open to find himself in an abandoned playground, sprawled out in a sandbox. That explained the sand in his hair, but not the heat. That's when he noticed not only was it hot, but there was a weight on his chest. He tried to move, and when he did, the lump of blue shifted eerily familiar blond hair.
“James!” Piper exclaimed, as the blond rolled off him with a groan.
“Five more minutes, Piper,” Trickster groaned, trying to snuggle into sand, with not so fun results.
I feel I'm getting the voices okay, but my writing isn't up to my standards. So, I'm asking around here to see if anyone'll beta? I've got a prologue started, so I'm going to post a snippet of it to see if anyone would like to help me out.
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His head was pounding, and he felt grains of sand in his hair, which he took as a good sign even though it was uncomfortable. It meant he was alive. He also felt incredibly stifled by the heat around him, but that may not have been a good sign, since the only thing his addled mind could come up with was he had died and went to hell. His heartbeat was beating double time, though- No, that wasn't right; there were two heartbeats he was hearing his own and...
Hartley Rathaway's eyes snapped open to find himself in an abandoned playground, sprawled out in a sandbox. That explained the sand in his hair, but not the heat. That's when he noticed not only was it hot, but there was a weight on his chest. He tried to move, and when he did, the lump of blue shifted eerily familiar blond hair.
“James!” Piper exclaimed, as the blond rolled off him with a groan.
“Five more minutes, Piper,” Trickster groaned, trying to snuggle into sand, with not so fun results.