Hermine's barfday fic
hermine_ichigo wants everyone to see what she got for her barfday, soooooo....
Title: The Devil Inside
Author: Katzedecimal
Rating: NC - nose-cola ^_~
Characters: Pipster, Flash, Captain Cold
"And you brought him to me?!"
Wally scratched the back of his head, "Well, yeah... I mean, I got my hands full with my own kids..."
"So you brought him to me?!"
"You know him better and all..."
"Wally, if God had meant me to be a father, She wouldn't have made me gay! And probably would've given me a better role model."
"You don't have to be his father, per se... More like an uncle or something. You can do 'uncle,' right Piper? You got a sister..."
"This does not discount the fact that you are far better qualified at handling holy little terrors than I am!"
"He's not a holy terror, Hartley."
"He's James Jesse! He's four years old! Put the two together and he's gonna be worse than Calvin and Hobbes!"
"Oh he is not, he's been a perfect little gentleman ever since the accident. Here he comes..." Wally turned as Linda led out a doll-like little boy with a mop of blond hair, enormous blue eyes and an angelic smile, too perfect to be real. He took one look at Piper and hid behind Linda's legs. "Heya, Peppi, here's your Uncle Piper to take you home."
Piper balked, "'Peppi?!?'" He seemed to be the only one who noticed how the little angel's eyes suddenly narrowed. Man, if looks could kill, Wally'd be eating his trackshoes!
"Yeah, I think he told me once that his mother called him 'Peppi' when he was a kid, so..."
"And obviously you weren't listening when he told you the rest of it," Piper said bluntly, "How much does he remember?"
Wally shrugged, "Near as we can tell, not much. He does remember you though, and me. Seems to be fuzzy though."
"Great, just great," Piper sighed, "Alright, kid, let's go."
The little boy shook his head and hid his face in Linda's skirt hem. She knelt down and hugged him, "It's okay, Peppi, this is your Uncle Hartley, he's come to take care of you." The little head shook harder, blond hair flying. Big blue eyes welled up with tears and the perfect pink cupid's-bow lips pouted. The kid looks like a Hallmark card, Hartley thought, while Linda talked in a low, reassuring voice.
Finally, dragging his feet and his satchel on the ground, the little boy trudged over to Hartley. Big blue puppy eyes looked up to meet big blue hairy eyes. Hartley sighed again and reached down to take the child's hand, "C'mon... car's over here."
"Wow, is this your junker?"
....Off to a great start already.
* * * *
"I saw that look you gave Wally," Piper began, "Don't worry, I ain't calling you 'Peppi.' Can't think of a more stupid name to give a child.. 'cept maybe 'Hartley.' Or 'Osgood.' 'Oswald's pretty bad too. At any rate, I won't call you 'Peppi,' so what do you prefer?"
"My name's Giovanni!"
"Yeah. Is that what you want to be called?"
"Nooooooooooooo!"
"Well, what do you want to be called then?" Hartley was invoking his 'talking to Trickster' mode, which enabled access to his emergency stash of patience.
"Jessie!!"
Hartley looked at him out of the corner of his eye - 'James Jesse' was an alias that young Giovanni Guiseppe had adopted later in his life. Quite a bit later. "Like Jesse James?"
"Yah!!" The little head wobbled back and forth so loosely on its neck, Hartley wondered if it would fall off.
Hartley shot him another slidewise look, "Alright then - 'Jessie' it is. You like Westerns, huh?"
"Yah!! An' you know what??" The ride home was a constant stream of useless trivia, each sentence punctuated by 'an' you know what?' Hartley wondered how long he'd be able to last.
* * * *
"So how's it been?" Wally asked, at the park the next day.
"So how's it been?"
"It's been... interesting."
"It's been... interesting."
"Linda wanted me to ask if he was still scared of you."
"Linda wanted me to ask if he was still scared of you."
"No, he's fine."
"No, he's fine."
"Um..."
"Um..."
"He's been like this all day," Piper said pleasantly.
"He's been like this all day."
"What, repeating everything you say?"
"What, repeating everything you say?"
"Everything."
"Everything."
"So, if I said, 'Flash is the greatest hero on earth,' he'd say it?"
"So, if I said, 'Flash is the greatest zero on earth,' he'd say it?"
"Heh heh, cool! ...wait..."
"Heh heh, cool!"
Piper nodded, "Or if I said 'Uncle Wally is a meathead...'"
"Or if I said 'Uncle Wally is a meathead...'"
"Okay, Peppi, I think that's enough now."
"Okay, Jessie, I think that's enough now."
"Hey, Wally, can you look after him for a few minutes, I need to nip off to the can," Piper said suddenly.
"Hey, Wally, can you look after him for a few minutes, I need to nip off to the can," Jessie echoed with a wide, wide smile.
"Thanks, Wally, you're a toff!"
"Thanks, Wally, get stuffed!
Wally looked at the boy and frowned, "That's not what he said."
"That's not what he said."
"Okay, it was funny but it's time to stop now."
"Okay, it was funny but it's time to stop now."
"I said knock it off."
"I said knock it off."
"Don't make me get angry."
"Don't make me get angry."
"Look! - stop it!"
"Look! - stuff it!"
"Now look, you little weasle.."
It seemed to Wally that Piper took a rather long time to come back. He was slightly more charitable when Hartley handed Jessie a candy apple and a slurpee. "Sorry," Hartley said pleasantly, "This should shut him up for a bit."
"Thanks, man, he was starting to drive me bananas."
"Your kids never did that?"
"No!"
"Hm, just my luck."
"Uncle Wallyyyyyy! Carry me!!"
"Okay, Peppi. Up you go... Oof, you're a big boy!"
"Um, you are aware that he didn't like being called 'Peppi,' right?" Hartley said as they walked.
Wally turned, looking at Hartley over Jessie's back, "Huh? I think he said something about it once or twice..."
"Wasn't like him to leave that part out."
"...but I figured with his memory shot, something familiar might give him a connection."
"Lookit!! Balloons!!"
"Huh? Where?OW!!" Wally yelped as his hair stuck to the candy. He worked it loose, grumbling. "So where are you bound today?" he asked as they walked across a side street.
"Bank," Hartley replied, "I need to go over a few accounts."
"Hm. Word on the street is the Rogues are planning another bank caper."
Hartley snorted, "I bank at KeyCen Community Trust; The Rogues prefer the major institutions. That's one of the reasons why I use an independant bank." He pushed the door open and held it for Wally, noogieing Jessie's moppet head as he passed.
"Hmm. How's the service? I'm getting pretty fed up with our bank, they're charging so many service fees now, you're getting robbed anyways."
"It's not bad, better than the big banks."
"When's the last time it was robbed?"
Hartley sighed, "Wally, there are a hundred banks in this city and we're in the sleepy end of town far from where the action is. Why do you think I chose this location? I mean seriously, what are the odds?"
"EVERYBODY FREEZE!"
"Pretty high, I'd say."
"Probably got hit with a dollar-per-K grand-larceny service charge."
"Here, hold onto this," Wally passed Jessie over to Hartley, yelping as the child spilled his slurpee down his back. The air whispered and Wally vanished.
"Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt," the calm voice was saying, "You all know who I am.."
"DADDY!!!!" Captain Cold stared in shock as a small tow-headed boy launched across the floor and glomped onto his leg, beaming up at him and chanting, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"
The other Rogues stared at him. "Um..." "Something you haven't been telling us, Cold?"
"Shut up! Get lost kid, I'm not your father!" He tried to shove the kid away and stopped with another shock.
"Afternoon, Cold."
"Piper?! What the hell are you doing here?"
"Babysitting."
"Is this...?"
Piper nodded, "Yup. There was an accident. He doesn't seem to remember much though and what he does remember is a little hazy. He recognises people but gets the details a bit screwy."
"I'll say, if he thinks I'm his.. Hey get outta there!" Cold saw that the little brat had nicked his wallet and was thumbing through it.
"MOMMY!!!" Jessie yelled triumphantly, holding up Cold's picture of his sister, the Golden Glider, for all to see. "Mommy's gone to Heaven," he said mournfully.
Cold's hand fluttered to his forehead, Oh god, the tabloids'll eat this one up. "That's not your mother," he said, knowing it was useless, "And I'm not your father." The burning stares of the faceless masses around him intensified and the whispering started.
"Very hazy," Piper said helpfully.
Cold sighed, looked at the ceiling, counted to three and said, "Alright, just give us the money and we'll..."
"Or you'll what?!" said the Flash.
"...Right."
"Are you gonna take Daddy to jail?"
"What?" Flash turned to look at angelic little 'Peppi', who was gazing up at him with big blue puppy eyes, holding the picture of Golden Glider. More whispering and a few 'awwws' and Cold was certain he heard someone sniffling in the background. Flash bit his lip. Hard. "Well... has your Daddy been bad?"
"He's not my son and you know it!"
With a few hiccuping sobs, Jessie burst into tears, "Daddy doesn't love me anymore!"
"That's why you're staying with Uncle Piper," Hartley said. He knelt and embraced Jessie, to the endeared coos of the onlookers. Captain Cold, meanwhile, was getting some very dirty looks and angry rumblings.
Flash bit his lip until it bled. "So what is it today, Cold?" he said, when he was sure he could talk without cracking up laughing. "Armed robbery? Conspiracy to commit an affray? I'm certain I heard the word 'money' when I arrived."
"What robbery?" Cold sighed, giving up, "What conspiracy? We weren't doing anything. Just practicing. Just a dry run. This was a test of the emergency Rogue system."
"Yup." "Uh huh." "Wait, what? We're leaving already?" "Shut up." "I knew we shoulda stuck with Capitol One." "We told you, there's hardly anything there now, it's all electronic. Anyways the service fees'd steal it all back."
Flash watched them go, feeling surreal. "Well. That was anticlimactic."
"'Rogue Robbery Foiled By Small Child,'" Piper agreed, wiping Jessie's face with a tissue. Applause grew up around them.
"Maybe we should induct him into the Justice League. Figure he could embarrass the Society into giving up?"
"Flash, this child could embarrass just about anybody," Hartley said.
Ten minutes later he walked out and found Wally across the street. "So was that a picture of Glider Peppi was calling 'Mommy?'" Wally asked.
Hartley grinned smugly, "Yup! Don't worry, I had my cameraphone. It's already on Youtube."
"And he was calling Cold 'Daddy'.. oh god!"
"Little Jessie here plays hardball," Hartley agreed. He was carrying Jessie on his shoulders and the little boy was resting his cheek on Hartley's head. He bought a packet of Twizzlers and passed them up to the boy, one at a time.
"You sure you should be feeding him so much sugar, this late in the day?" Wally asked.
Piper shrugged, "He's going to need energy to keep up with your kids."
"My kids? Why?"
Hartley looked startled, "Didn't Linda tell you? I've got a date tonight."
"You do?! No, she didn't... or if she did, I wasn't listening."
"That I can believe," Hartley snorted.
"So we're babysitting him. Great."
"You only get him for one evening; I get him for an indeterminate length of time," Hartley retorted.
"Yeah, yeah," Wally sighed, "Hope you have fun on your date."
"Thanks."
* * * *
"How was your date?" Wally asked. It was eleven o'clock and he was exhausted.
"I got stood up," Hartley shrugged.
"You couldn't have come to get him sooner?" Wally said as Hartley took the limp bundle of Jessie from his arms and settled the boy's sleepy head against his own broad shoulder. That was when he noticed the fresh bruises and Hartley's swelling knuckles, "The heck?"
"I got stood up, I went to the bar, I got in a brawl," Hartley shrugged.
Wally rolled his eyes; typical Piper. "Well, you were right, this kid's worse than Calvin. Doesn't grasp the concept of 'water balloons are for outside' and has an exhibitionist streak - literally, I had to chase the little nudist down the block three times! I think we finally wore him down though."
"I wanna go hooooooome," Jessie whined, muffled against Hartley's neck.
Hartley grinned and ruffled the mop of blond hair, "That's where we're going."
"Night night, Peppi. Sleep tight," Wally grinned.
"..ni ni unc' wally..."
Wally grinned again, "Get him out of here before he passes out on you."
"Yeah. See ya, Wally. Thanks again. C'mon, kiddo."
"...i love you, piper..." Jessie murmured sleepily.
"Love you too, James." Hartley got Jessie buckled into the car. As he drove for home, he chuckled, "Man the look on Cold's face when you called him Daddy... I can't wait to see the headlines for that one, right Tricks?"
"Right," Jessie said sleepily, then blinked.
"a-HA!"
"...aw, raspberries... You figured it out, huh?"
"That you were shamming the memory loss? - heck yes."
"What gave it away?"
"Figured it out when Wally first passed you over to me. Couldn't think of any reason you wouldn't want to go with me unless you thought I was going to ruin your fun."
James made a face, "Well, there could be other reasons but not even you are that deviant."
"Yeah, keep that up and I will ruin your fun."
James grinned then looked at Hartley and arched a nearly invisible eyebrow, "Speaking of fun, you didn't have a date tonight."
"Nah, that was just an excuse to pawn you off on Wally."
"So where'd the bruises come from?"
"I tracked down Abra and beat him up until he told me how long 'til the spell wore off."
"And?"
"You're stuck like this for a week."
"Awesome!"
"Yeah well, happen to other people, not me, okay?"
"If you setting up for me like you have been, how can I not?"
Title: The Devil Inside
Author: Katzedecimal
Rating: NC - nose-cola ^_~
Characters: Pipster, Flash, Captain Cold
"And you brought him to me?!"
Wally scratched the back of his head, "Well, yeah... I mean, I got my hands full with my own kids..."
"So you brought him to me?!"
"You know him better and all..."
"Wally, if God had meant me to be a father, She wouldn't have made me gay! And probably would've given me a better role model."
"You don't have to be his father, per se... More like an uncle or something. You can do 'uncle,' right Piper? You got a sister..."
"This does not discount the fact that you are far better qualified at handling holy little terrors than I am!"
"He's not a holy terror, Hartley."
"He's James Jesse! He's four years old! Put the two together and he's gonna be worse than Calvin and Hobbes!"
"Oh he is not, he's been a perfect little gentleman ever since the accident. Here he comes..." Wally turned as Linda led out a doll-like little boy with a mop of blond hair, enormous blue eyes and an angelic smile, too perfect to be real. He took one look at Piper and hid behind Linda's legs. "Heya, Peppi, here's your Uncle Piper to take you home."
Piper balked, "'Peppi?!?'" He seemed to be the only one who noticed how the little angel's eyes suddenly narrowed. Man, if looks could kill, Wally'd be eating his trackshoes!
"Yeah, I think he told me once that his mother called him 'Peppi' when he was a kid, so..."
"And obviously you weren't listening when he told you the rest of it," Piper said bluntly, "How much does he remember?"
Wally shrugged, "Near as we can tell, not much. He does remember you though, and me. Seems to be fuzzy though."
"Great, just great," Piper sighed, "Alright, kid, let's go."
The little boy shook his head and hid his face in Linda's skirt hem. She knelt down and hugged him, "It's okay, Peppi, this is your Uncle Hartley, he's come to take care of you." The little head shook harder, blond hair flying. Big blue eyes welled up with tears and the perfect pink cupid's-bow lips pouted. The kid looks like a Hallmark card, Hartley thought, while Linda talked in a low, reassuring voice.
Finally, dragging his feet and his satchel on the ground, the little boy trudged over to Hartley. Big blue puppy eyes looked up to meet big blue hairy eyes. Hartley sighed again and reached down to take the child's hand, "C'mon... car's over here."
"Wow, is this your junker?"
....Off to a great start already.
* * * *
"I saw that look you gave Wally," Piper began, "Don't worry, I ain't calling you 'Peppi.' Can't think of a more stupid name to give a child.. 'cept maybe 'Hartley.' Or 'Osgood.' 'Oswald's pretty bad too. At any rate, I won't call you 'Peppi,' so what do you prefer?"
"My name's Giovanni!"
"Yeah. Is that what you want to be called?"
"Nooooooooooooo!"
"Well, what do you want to be called then?" Hartley was invoking his 'talking to Trickster' mode, which enabled access to his emergency stash of patience.
"Jessie!!"
Hartley looked at him out of the corner of his eye - 'James Jesse' was an alias that young Giovanni Guiseppe had adopted later in his life. Quite a bit later. "Like Jesse James?"
"Yah!!" The little head wobbled back and forth so loosely on its neck, Hartley wondered if it would fall off.
Hartley shot him another slidewise look, "Alright then - 'Jessie' it is. You like Westerns, huh?"
"Yah!! An' you know what??" The ride home was a constant stream of useless trivia, each sentence punctuated by 'an' you know what?' Hartley wondered how long he'd be able to last.
* * * *
"So how's it been?" Wally asked, at the park the next day.
"So how's it been?"
"It's been... interesting."
"It's been... interesting."
"Linda wanted me to ask if he was still scared of you."
"Linda wanted me to ask if he was still scared of you."
"No, he's fine."
"No, he's fine."
"Um..."
"Um..."
"He's been like this all day," Piper said pleasantly.
"He's been like this all day."
"What, repeating everything you say?"
"What, repeating everything you say?"
"Everything."
"Everything."
"So, if I said, 'Flash is the greatest hero on earth,' he'd say it?"
"So, if I said, 'Flash is the greatest zero on earth,' he'd say it?"
"Heh heh, cool! ...wait..."
"Heh heh, cool!"
Piper nodded, "Or if I said 'Uncle Wally is a meathead...'"
"Or if I said 'Uncle Wally is a meathead...'"
"Okay, Peppi, I think that's enough now."
"Okay, Jessie, I think that's enough now."
"Hey, Wally, can you look after him for a few minutes, I need to nip off to the can," Piper said suddenly.
"Hey, Wally, can you look after him for a few minutes, I need to nip off to the can," Jessie echoed with a wide, wide smile.
"Thanks, Wally, you're a toff!"
"Thanks, Wally, get stuffed!
Wally looked at the boy and frowned, "That's not what he said."
"That's not what he said."
"Okay, it was funny but it's time to stop now."
"Okay, it was funny but it's time to stop now."
"I said knock it off."
"I said knock it off."
"Don't make me get angry."
"Don't make me get angry."
"Look! - stop it!"
"Look! - stuff it!"
"Now look, you little weasle.."
It seemed to Wally that Piper took a rather long time to come back. He was slightly more charitable when Hartley handed Jessie a candy apple and a slurpee. "Sorry," Hartley said pleasantly, "This should shut him up for a bit."
"Thanks, man, he was starting to drive me bananas."
"Your kids never did that?"
"No!"
"Hm, just my luck."
"Uncle Wallyyyyyy! Carry me!!"
"Okay, Peppi. Up you go... Oof, you're a big boy!"
"Um, you are aware that he didn't like being called 'Peppi,' right?" Hartley said as they walked.
Wally turned, looking at Hartley over Jessie's back, "Huh? I think he said something about it once or twice..."
"Wasn't like him to leave that part out."
"...but I figured with his memory shot, something familiar might give him a connection."
"Lookit!! Balloons!!"
"Huh? Where?OW!!" Wally yelped as his hair stuck to the candy. He worked it loose, grumbling. "So where are you bound today?" he asked as they walked across a side street.
"Bank," Hartley replied, "I need to go over a few accounts."
"Hm. Word on the street is the Rogues are planning another bank caper."
Hartley snorted, "I bank at KeyCen Community Trust; The Rogues prefer the major institutions. That's one of the reasons why I use an independant bank." He pushed the door open and held it for Wally, noogieing Jessie's moppet head as he passed.
"Hmm. How's the service? I'm getting pretty fed up with our bank, they're charging so many service fees now, you're getting robbed anyways."
"It's not bad, better than the big banks."
"When's the last time it was robbed?"
Hartley sighed, "Wally, there are a hundred banks in this city and we're in the sleepy end of town far from where the action is. Why do you think I chose this location? I mean seriously, what are the odds?"
"EVERYBODY FREEZE!"
"Pretty high, I'd say."
"Probably got hit with a dollar-per-K grand-larceny service charge."
"Here, hold onto this," Wally passed Jessie over to Hartley, yelping as the child spilled his slurpee down his back. The air whispered and Wally vanished.
"Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt," the calm voice was saying, "You all know who I am.."
"DADDY!!!!" Captain Cold stared in shock as a small tow-headed boy launched across the floor and glomped onto his leg, beaming up at him and chanting, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!"
The other Rogues stared at him. "Um..." "Something you haven't been telling us, Cold?"
"Shut up! Get lost kid, I'm not your father!" He tried to shove the kid away and stopped with another shock.
"Afternoon, Cold."
"Piper?! What the hell are you doing here?"
"Babysitting."
"Is this...?"
Piper nodded, "Yup. There was an accident. He doesn't seem to remember much though and what he does remember is a little hazy. He recognises people but gets the details a bit screwy."
"I'll say, if he thinks I'm his.. Hey get outta there!" Cold saw that the little brat had nicked his wallet and was thumbing through it.
"MOMMY!!!" Jessie yelled triumphantly, holding up Cold's picture of his sister, the Golden Glider, for all to see. "Mommy's gone to Heaven," he said mournfully.
Cold's hand fluttered to his forehead, Oh god, the tabloids'll eat this one up. "That's not your mother," he said, knowing it was useless, "And I'm not your father." The burning stares of the faceless masses around him intensified and the whispering started.
"Very hazy," Piper said helpfully.
Cold sighed, looked at the ceiling, counted to three and said, "Alright, just give us the money and we'll..."
"Or you'll what?!" said the Flash.
"...Right."
"Are you gonna take Daddy to jail?"
"What?" Flash turned to look at angelic little 'Peppi', who was gazing up at him with big blue puppy eyes, holding the picture of Golden Glider. More whispering and a few 'awwws' and Cold was certain he heard someone sniffling in the background. Flash bit his lip. Hard. "Well... has your Daddy been bad?"
"He's not my son and you know it!"
With a few hiccuping sobs, Jessie burst into tears, "Daddy doesn't love me anymore!"
"That's why you're staying with Uncle Piper," Hartley said. He knelt and embraced Jessie, to the endeared coos of the onlookers. Captain Cold, meanwhile, was getting some very dirty looks and angry rumblings.
Flash bit his lip until it bled. "So what is it today, Cold?" he said, when he was sure he could talk without cracking up laughing. "Armed robbery? Conspiracy to commit an affray? I'm certain I heard the word 'money' when I arrived."
"What robbery?" Cold sighed, giving up, "What conspiracy? We weren't doing anything. Just practicing. Just a dry run. This was a test of the emergency Rogue system."
"Yup." "Uh huh." "Wait, what? We're leaving already?" "Shut up." "I knew we shoulda stuck with Capitol One." "We told you, there's hardly anything there now, it's all electronic. Anyways the service fees'd steal it all back."
Flash watched them go, feeling surreal. "Well. That was anticlimactic."
"'Rogue Robbery Foiled By Small Child,'" Piper agreed, wiping Jessie's face with a tissue. Applause grew up around them.
"Maybe we should induct him into the Justice League. Figure he could embarrass the Society into giving up?"
"Flash, this child could embarrass just about anybody," Hartley said.
Ten minutes later he walked out and found Wally across the street. "So was that a picture of Glider Peppi was calling 'Mommy?'" Wally asked.
Hartley grinned smugly, "Yup! Don't worry, I had my cameraphone. It's already on Youtube."
"And he was calling Cold 'Daddy'.. oh god!"
"Little Jessie here plays hardball," Hartley agreed. He was carrying Jessie on his shoulders and the little boy was resting his cheek on Hartley's head. He bought a packet of Twizzlers and passed them up to the boy, one at a time.
"You sure you should be feeding him so much sugar, this late in the day?" Wally asked.
Piper shrugged, "He's going to need energy to keep up with your kids."
"My kids? Why?"
Hartley looked startled, "Didn't Linda tell you? I've got a date tonight."
"You do?! No, she didn't... or if she did, I wasn't listening."
"That I can believe," Hartley snorted.
"So we're babysitting him. Great."
"You only get him for one evening; I get him for an indeterminate length of time," Hartley retorted.
"Yeah, yeah," Wally sighed, "Hope you have fun on your date."
"Thanks."
* * * *
"How was your date?" Wally asked. It was eleven o'clock and he was exhausted.
"I got stood up," Hartley shrugged.
"You couldn't have come to get him sooner?" Wally said as Hartley took the limp bundle of Jessie from his arms and settled the boy's sleepy head against his own broad shoulder. That was when he noticed the fresh bruises and Hartley's swelling knuckles, "The heck?"
"I got stood up, I went to the bar, I got in a brawl," Hartley shrugged.
Wally rolled his eyes; typical Piper. "Well, you were right, this kid's worse than Calvin. Doesn't grasp the concept of 'water balloons are for outside' and has an exhibitionist streak - literally, I had to chase the little nudist down the block three times! I think we finally wore him down though."
"I wanna go hooooooome," Jessie whined, muffled against Hartley's neck.
Hartley grinned and ruffled the mop of blond hair, "That's where we're going."
"Night night, Peppi. Sleep tight," Wally grinned.
"..ni ni unc' wally..."
Wally grinned again, "Get him out of here before he passes out on you."
"Yeah. See ya, Wally. Thanks again. C'mon, kiddo."
"...i love you, piper..." Jessie murmured sleepily.
"Love you too, James." Hartley got Jessie buckled into the car. As he drove for home, he chuckled, "Man the look on Cold's face when you called him Daddy... I can't wait to see the headlines for that one, right Tricks?"
"Right," Jessie said sleepily, then blinked.
"a-HA!"
"...aw, raspberries... You figured it out, huh?"
"That you were shamming the memory loss? - heck yes."
"What gave it away?"
"Figured it out when Wally first passed you over to me. Couldn't think of any reason you wouldn't want to go with me unless you thought I was going to ruin your fun."
James made a face, "Well, there could be other reasons but not even you are that deviant."
"Yeah, keep that up and I will ruin your fun."
James grinned then looked at Hartley and arched a nearly invisible eyebrow, "Speaking of fun, you didn't have a date tonight."
"Nah, that was just an excuse to pawn you off on Wally."
"So where'd the bruises come from?"
"I tracked down Abra and beat him up until he told me how long 'til the spell wore off."
"And?"
"You're stuck like this for a week."
"Awesome!"
"Yeah well, happen to other people, not me, okay?"
"If you setting up for me like you have been, how can I not?"