bleh
All I ever wanted to be was a housewife when I was little. That, and a rock star and a stripper. Well, I always wanted to be a mother. Maybe the housewife wishes automatically came with that, or maybe they came about when I realized that I would never be a rock star, and that they don't hire fat strippers, and well she did it, she was an artista and a kept woman. I had been working since I was 10, with a month break here and there, but being raised "working poor" did not allow me the luxury of not working, going to college or traveling the world. Being a slut got me the status of rockstar, and the presents that a princess deserved and my wishes for a knight to keep me has brought me to the suburbs it would seem. So here now, no job, a housewife. No connection to anyone I knew accept this screen. Locked in this cardboard cut-out neighborhood, with dishpan hands, 12 mouths to feed, sex whenever I want it, and the only glimpse I have of my former life is seen in how I decorate..myself..I need new clothes....my space...is it? I am an exhibitionist with no audience, though it is no ones fault but my own. And I am not sure if my knight understands how important it is for me. I don't need sunlight to grow, I need adoration or I wilt. I want to be put back in the middle of the circle with only a candle or a spotlight, and be told what is beautiful or special about me again. Yes those were lesbian times, but it was a step in my evolution and I wish I would have brought some things with me. I am always amazed at how many lives and people I have been in this life. I have to remember that this is a new phase of that process. I have to learn to let go and let the Goddess. To take what I can to the next life and try not to repeat to many past mistakes. I hope I haven't already. When he is mad there is no house that would be big enough.