Tora x Saga // Everything... // drabble
Title: Everything…
Chapter: drabble
Author: flo-chi
Pairing: Tora x Saga
Rating: G
Genre: angst, romance, fluff
Disclaimer: i still don’t own them, only in my dreams…
Summary: "Just let me hide from the world in your arms, as you always did then I'll believe that everything will be okay."
Everything…
Saga’s P.o.V.
I’m walking on the streets for hours now, giving up counting the streets I left behind. Something just tells me that I’m in the other side of the city, but I don’t care.
Slowly I lift my head up to the sky to see the gathering clouds. It will rain, its smell is lingering in the air. For some unknown reason it makes my random thoughts become calm.
I left my umbrella at home, but I don’t need it. Now I only want to be wet. To be clean by the pure rain falling down on me. I don’t care if later on I’ll be sick or something else.
I just want to… forget. Or… remember. No, I want you to be mine again, even if I was the one who ruined everything.
"If you love me... if you love me, leave me alone..."
That was my only wish before I left you weeks ago. I felt nothing towards you. Or at least I felt totally empty, like a dead bulb. Even though I had to say thank you for everything you had done for me. But, when I opened my mouth to say a single word you walked into your bedroom, locking the door behind you.
Now I know I was wrong at that time. I really love you. But I’m afraid it’s too late…
Honestly, I don’t understand myself. How could I feel lonely next to you, who might be the world’s best lover? Do you know the answer? If you do, would you share it with me? I really don’t know what was this all good for! Because I can’t say that you didn’t let me breath, that you didn’t give me any room to move.
I am sorry for hurting you. For being so stupid.
I love you. You are the most important thing in my life, you know that? You are my everything, Tora. I want you be mine again, to let me show you how much I love you.
Do you think it’s possible?
Raindrops fall on me suddenly. I just look up at the crowd around me. People suddenly find it acute to find a place where they can hide from the rain. Slowly I turn around and walk towards the little park. I know there is a playground here. And it needs only five minutes to find it. Without any sudden motion I sit into one of the swings.
Sighing deeply I let my tears roll down on my cheeks. I don’t care if there is anyone else or there is no one! I just want to disappear. I feel guilt for hurting you.
Once again I look up at the dark sky, letting the rain wash my face. Hugging the chain of the swing, I let out a shaky sigh. That’s all…
A thousand times I decided to just walk into your apartment saying ’Hey babe, I came back.’ But this would be totally mad. Even if you are waiting for me. Cause I know you are…
Or, would you appriciate it? Tora… what do you want?
"What do you want, babe?" I wishper into the rain.
During that ten minutes I sat there motionless I got soaked wet. Water is dropping from my hair, from my clothes. My shoes became a pair of boats which are now filled with water.
I should go home. But my heart tells me to change my mind. And for the first time, I listen to my heart…
Tora’s P.o.V.
Since you’ve been gone, I can’t find my place. I can’t decide what is good for me or what is bad.
"If you love me... if you love me, leave me alone..." What was that?! Sagacchi!- tell me what the hell was that!
Three weeks passed by now. At the beginning I was sure you will come back. You just need time to realise how much you need me. Then I thought I was so selfish thinking this way. Finally I said you will be coming when you want. Cause if you really love me, you will come back. And I know you do love me.
If you don’t, would you always look at me? Would you always shake your head a bit to wake yourself up whenever I catch your gaze on me? Would you think that it’s too late by now, and I don’t love you? Sagacchi, I could never forget you, you know that? I don’t care how big trouble you get in, you’ll always be mine.
Standing at the window, I press my forehead against the cool glass. No, I’m not crying… not
anymore. I’ll be patient and wait for you without tears. It’s fair like this, nee?
In silence I’m listening as the raindrops loudly knock on the window. It’s raining for a couple of hours now. The crowded streets become empty, and the loud ciy slowly goes quiet.
I love this statement of the city. When it seems like life slow down for a couple of hours. Of course later on it will start from the beginning as rushing people appear from nothing. Like they were born to be running on the streets and do nothing else. I’m getting to think they don’t know the idea of ’have a rest’, do they?
Suddenly I recognise a familiar silhouette from the distance. He’s coming slowly towards the building, his hands are in his pocket. He is the only one who is not hurrying, even if he is the only one who is outside too.
As the man reaches the entrance, with a knowing and relieved smile on my lips I walk towards the door and open it. Then I quickly walk back to the kitchen to make a mug of tea.
Heading back to my bedroom to pick up some of his clothes and a towel I can see him standing at the doorway. Noticing me he steps inside the apartment and close the door behind himself. Water is running down on his face.
With slow motions Saga steps out of his shoes, then just looks at me waiting for something. For something from the past. From our past but something new at the same time.
Saga’s P.o.V.
I want to say something. Something like ’I’m sorry!’ or like ’I love you!’ but except for a shaky sight, nothing leaves my lips. I want to tell you how big asshole I am for leaving you.
Finally I open my mouth to give you the words, but suddenly you lay the towel on my head and start to dry my hair. I can do nothing except enjoy your touch.
Your hands leave the towel on my head alone to play with the buttons of my shirt. When you finish with unbuttoning the shirt, slowly you pull it of off me. I don’t have any time to ask or surprise, cause you quickly pull my old t-shirt over my head.
"Change your trousers too before you catch a cold!" I hear your deep voice as you pass my dry pair of jeans to me.
I’m starring at the jeans in my hand without blinking. Then suddenly I jump out of my wet trousers as Tora goes to his livingroom.
"Thank you..." I mumble from the door of the living room. I can't decide whether I should step in or not. "No need." Tora shakes his head slowly. "Come and drink your tea before it'll be too cold." His voice is... not cool, but not that loving voice I wished for in these weeks. I start to feel like he is angry at me, but I have no rights to feel it unfair, nee?
I do as I was told. Walking to the couch, I sit down next to him. I’m not brave enough to look at him. Not brave enough to do what I really want. Without saying anything, I pick up the mug from the small table.
"Nee, Tora-shi!" I call out for him after ten minutes of silence.
"Hm?"
"I just... I want to say that... I... want to..." It sucks. All I wanted to say... nothing comes on my lips. Nothing meaningful. Nothing...
"You don't have to say a word, love." He replies in a softer tone. "You came back, and nothing more is important."
"You don't want to know?" I look at him with wide eyes.
"Nope."
"B-but... But I'd like to say something. I can't let this all hang in the air unfinished!" I say under my breath.
"Look, love, I don't want to hear anything like you're sorry, or else! I knew you'll come back and now you are here. That's all. But if you want to speak, well, let's go!" he sighed finally.
"Okay. Well, I really wanted to say I'm sorry. Cause I hurt you, and I feel bad for it! Even if you say no need to feel that. I left you, because I thought I don't love you anymore, but I was wrong. I really love you, and there is no more important thing in my life. I don't want to hurt you anymore, but tell me if you don't love me anymore!"
"I guess you are sick, let me see..." with that you touch my forehead to check if I have fever or no. After giving you a killing glare, you gently stroke my cheek. "I could never say I don't love you. At least not now. Maybe our feelings will disappear some time in the future. But right NOW you are mine. I don't think you hurt me, I just can't understand, but hey!- we are okay now, nee?"
"I see..." I mumble.
"You don't."
"Hee?" I open my eyes quickly.
"You can't see when your eyes are closed." he shrugs. "Are you tired? Wanna got o sleep?"
"Nee, Tora! Just let me hide from the world in your arms, as you always did then I'll believe that everything will be okay."
A/N.: whoo~ i can say i’m satisfied with it. now. for this i need to say thank you to my beloved Chi-chan ^.^ who kept on encouraging me when i wanted to give up writing in the middle of the story! <333
hope you will like it, and comments would be nice ^-^