(no subject)
once again trying to get my culinary swagger back,at this my dad might be moving at the end of the month and that leaves me no where to live i guess my fate is to crash and burn in florida but i think ill out with a bang still trying to figure out when to use this plane ticket but i fear if i lesave ill never return and that strikes me as running away which im no stranger to doing but i dunno im 22 and i feel im stuck like in the same rut when i was 18 god damn its time to be something already i dont wanna be just another cook or name less chef i need my to find my spark here i haveno to impress with my food cuz im under the impession down here no one will care god damn i hate this feeling...but i have started trying to train for mma again but im just not focused and i really dont know how i feel about anyone down the person i really trust is boris and now that hes busy being a dad i feel like i have no one to talk to...but i id talked to luly but i dont think she'll understand how i feel im not saying she doesnt understand or maybe she doesnt but i dunno i guess i need someone in the field im in to talk to.i feel like im all dressed up with no where to go jeez...i guess i dunno im waiting for my defining moment to come so i know what to do but i dont think that day will ever come,i think the only i can truely tell someone how i feel is thru writing which isnt good cuz anyone that knows me knows i talked this in person i wonder why its easier for me to do this then ///then o actually talk to the people i need to talk to