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i dont know whats happening to me,plain and simple i was just a idiot on tot he phone to the girl i care so much about and would give the world too,i dunnosomethings different to me that she pointed out the other night about when i was telling her about my boss and she just said "why dont u say something to him?" and lately i havent been standing up for my self at work or with a stupid friend,or maybe im the stupid friend friend,for the past week i have been so angry and so hate filled...but yet i just cover it up with a smile and pretend everythings all right id ont know why,i try numb all the fucking shit thats wrong with me but i just cant seem to face my problems head on i dont know why i keep turning my back to them or even telling someone how i have been feeling,i guess im just scared of exposing a weak side,and later on just have that thrown back at me,its been so long since i have this feeling of letting someone in my life who for the trust time i actually trust,i guess it my curse cuz as much as i want to tell her how the fuck im feeling,but i fear as tho ill make a massive gap between us by stuff i dont say,and maybe thats why i annoy her with all my questions,cuz i know it bothers her when i do but i dunno i guess maybe if i hear all about her day and life,then maybe i wont have to talk about mine,it sucks,it feels like i have the world on my back and its putting so much pressure on me,i feel like im just gonna pass out,i feel like im ruining everything in my life and going nowhere fast,and just burning bridges with people who just wanna help...life as a basterd can be such a drag