Footage of me disassociating for the next 4+ years
https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxoGbsS3pA1M4s7_-NpMfFJITB6lFDJA5P?si=afJ23kWwSundtUmz
I think I now understand ordinary people in the Third Reich who just kept their heads down and waited for it to be over one way or another. It's not that they hated Jews or even wanted to be part of a German empire. I mean yes, that was a lot of them. But some of them must have just been so psychologically horrified when the masks came off their neighbors, colleagues, friends, and family members that they just totally checked out. It's cowardly, but I get it.
The funny thing is, I would have described myself before last week as pretty cynical about this country and not at all a patriot. I've been seriously considering leaving it for the better part of a decade. But I always told myself that Trump didn't win the popular vote and that proved that most Americans were not okay with open fascism.
I can't tell myself that any more and I really don't know how to deal with it.
I have to say, becoming extremely ill and needing emergency surgery has been one way to deal with last week's horrifying outcome. It gave me a few days where sleeping 20 hours a day was encouraged, instead of being a sign of crippling depression, and where all I had to do was concentrate on doing what I needed to do to get better physically.
I can't say I recommend it, and therapy would probably have been cheaper in the short term, but it is what it is. I'm back at work today. I'm tired, and my abdomen hurts. But it's a dull pain and the bruising has gone from dark purple to green to that ugly yellow color, so it seems like it's healing properly. I'll follow up with the surgeon in a couple of weeks.
We got the hot water heater replaced yesterday and I had my first shower since Friday this morning. They used a type of glue to close the incisions, and you need to not get it wet for 48 hours to let it harden all the way, so I've been taking sort of stand-up sponge baths in the shower and either washing my hair in the kitchen sink or using dry shampoo.
My brother and I are both hygiene freaks, something we got from our father. Our aunts used to say how he was renowned for always being still in the bath whenever friends came over to the house, and he used Lava soap on his entire body. Lava is soap that contains ground pumice and it's really meant for like, mechanics or anyone dealing with heavy-duty grease, and even then only for their hands and maybe lower arms.
I think I now understand ordinary people in the Third Reich who just kept their heads down and waited for it to be over one way or another. It's not that they hated Jews or even wanted to be part of a German empire. I mean yes, that was a lot of them. But some of them must have just been so psychologically horrified when the masks came off their neighbors, colleagues, friends, and family members that they just totally checked out. It's cowardly, but I get it.
The funny thing is, I would have described myself before last week as pretty cynical about this country and not at all a patriot. I've been seriously considering leaving it for the better part of a decade. But I always told myself that Trump didn't win the popular vote and that proved that most Americans were not okay with open fascism.
I can't tell myself that any more and I really don't know how to deal with it.
I have to say, becoming extremely ill and needing emergency surgery has been one way to deal with last week's horrifying outcome. It gave me a few days where sleeping 20 hours a day was encouraged, instead of being a sign of crippling depression, and where all I had to do was concentrate on doing what I needed to do to get better physically.
I can't say I recommend it, and therapy would probably have been cheaper in the short term, but it is what it is. I'm back at work today. I'm tired, and my abdomen hurts. But it's a dull pain and the bruising has gone from dark purple to green to that ugly yellow color, so it seems like it's healing properly. I'll follow up with the surgeon in a couple of weeks.
We got the hot water heater replaced yesterday and I had my first shower since Friday this morning. They used a type of glue to close the incisions, and you need to not get it wet for 48 hours to let it harden all the way, so I've been taking sort of stand-up sponge baths in the shower and either washing my hair in the kitchen sink or using dry shampoo.
My brother and I are both hygiene freaks, something we got from our father. Our aunts used to say how he was renowned for always being still in the bath whenever friends came over to the house, and he used Lava soap on his entire body. Lava is soap that contains ground pumice and it's really meant for like, mechanics or anyone dealing with heavy-duty grease, and even then only for their hands and maybe lower arms.