Letting go the need to hold on.
And now i'm recovering from the complications of the ill-ly timed appendicitis surgery. other than going up against SGH and recovering well, there really isn't much in the horizon. ok, maybe unlocking more numerology secrets and having it pay off for the orphanages, and myself. then again, i think i may have stumbled on a little too much. it is said that when you uncover certain celestial truths, you begin to get warning signs that tells you to back away. if you don't, you might not be able to handle the personal calamity that might befall. that being said, i'm prepared to push the envelope, just a little bit more. no venture and no sacrifice, no gain. and we're not talking about selfish gains. my newly-purchased Z5 Premium is still sleeping in its casing; the day i bought it before i checked myself into SGH's A&E. i have little urge to uncase it.
and then, i see friends around me, young and old alike, falling in and out of what they perceive is Love. two exact same situations took place one after another. i used the term, self-mutilation. they know that they are going to get hurt, yet they pursue the course of action which will undeniably make them so. one, is a fat friend (yes i know i'm fat too) whom, since his last break up, has never quite been the same. in which i encouraged him that if this is the case, i only hope it leaves beautiful scars this time and i wished him the best. the other, is a youngling who sees nothing but the things he wishes to see and hear. i told him off in the sense that, if he has no need for my advice, he need not seek me out.
then, that dick text'd me his picture. good looking as ever, i smiled, before i drifted off on my bed at 9pm. i must've been worn out.
only to wake at 2pm and after having found no trace of Mr Zhou, i began to think - what if i'm going to lose everything all over again. would i be ok? would i be ok losing him? losing my mother? losing loved ones? strangely, i didn't feel any spikes. i was calm, composed. i am ok. though i'm pretty sure i'll be upset, but i think i would have no problems letting go. however, i do see myself holding on, and the reasons for holding on, are the promises that i had made as a human being. i think, since i have given my word, i shall do my best seeing to the end of it.
and then, i see friends around me, young and old alike, falling in and out of what they perceive is Love. two exact same situations took place one after another. i used the term, self-mutilation. they know that they are going to get hurt, yet they pursue the course of action which will undeniably make them so. one, is a fat friend (yes i know i'm fat too) whom, since his last break up, has never quite been the same. in which i encouraged him that if this is the case, i only hope it leaves beautiful scars this time and i wished him the best. the other, is a youngling who sees nothing but the things he wishes to see and hear. i told him off in the sense that, if he has no need for my advice, he need not seek me out.
then, that dick text'd me his picture. good looking as ever, i smiled, before i drifted off on my bed at 9pm. i must've been worn out.
only to wake at 2pm and after having found no trace of Mr Zhou, i began to think - what if i'm going to lose everything all over again. would i be ok? would i be ok losing him? losing my mother? losing loved ones? strangely, i didn't feel any spikes. i was calm, composed. i am ok. though i'm pretty sure i'll be upset, but i think i would have no problems letting go. however, i do see myself holding on, and the reasons for holding on, are the promises that i had made as a human being. i think, since i have given my word, i shall do my best seeing to the end of it.