returning $$$
the journey of returning the insurmountable amount that i borrowed from friends is close to halfway done. some were hostile, some were cold, some were hurtful, but many others were understanding, caring, and concerned. it's a betrayal of trust for many of them, as they believed. back then, i told my real story (to most) but none chose to believe, but they lend me the money for the best of my interest (i think) and gave me the benefit of doubt. to those of you who are still reading livejournal, i thank you sincerely, regardless which camp you're from. and for those of you whom i have yet to contact you on returning the money i owe you, be rest assured that it will happen, just that i have to do it at my own pace.
my father (whom divorced my mum some 20 odd years back) is old, alone, constantly struggling, and doesn't have enough to get by. my income from providing massage and healing arts get me by in terms of rental, a small fee for my expenditures and occasional short trip to taipei to spend time with my family, and as well as returning my friends the money that i owe them. the next few months will mark the halfway mark of the final amount that i have to return to my friends, pending the adhoc amount that i have to set aside for my father. on months when his business is poor, i'll have to help with a few hundred up to about a little over a thousand. i'm glad that nowadays it stays under a thousand.
yesterday was his birthday, and i gave him a fatter ang pao than usual. over the 2 years since i'm back, i have seen him age, suffer, but still trying to put up a zen front and remaining unfazed. my heart aches a little, and i know that the inevitable will come some day. will i have regrets? probably. but can i live my life otherwise? i sure can, but it's always a matter of choice. it's a hard truth that although he is family by blood, but i have my life and family by choice. and so, it's a delicate balance of living life with minimal regrets. having him stay with me at my work place will not work at the efficiency in which i have worked to achieve. however, i do have other plans that i can possibly involve him and perhaps help him a little financially.
Such, is life. i look out of the window, and i see grey skies. it's beautiful nonetheless.
my father (whom divorced my mum some 20 odd years back) is old, alone, constantly struggling, and doesn't have enough to get by. my income from providing massage and healing arts get me by in terms of rental, a small fee for my expenditures and occasional short trip to taipei to spend time with my family, and as well as returning my friends the money that i owe them. the next few months will mark the halfway mark of the final amount that i have to return to my friends, pending the adhoc amount that i have to set aside for my father. on months when his business is poor, i'll have to help with a few hundred up to about a little over a thousand. i'm glad that nowadays it stays under a thousand.
yesterday was his birthday, and i gave him a fatter ang pao than usual. over the 2 years since i'm back, i have seen him age, suffer, but still trying to put up a zen front and remaining unfazed. my heart aches a little, and i know that the inevitable will come some day. will i have regrets? probably. but can i live my life otherwise? i sure can, but it's always a matter of choice. it's a hard truth that although he is family by blood, but i have my life and family by choice. and so, it's a delicate balance of living life with minimal regrets. having him stay with me at my work place will not work at the efficiency in which i have worked to achieve. however, i do have other plans that i can possibly involve him and perhaps help him a little financially.
Such, is life. i look out of the window, and i see grey skies. it's beautiful nonetheless.