Weird couple of days
So, if you have all noticed, I have changed my journal yet again. Thank you so much Chris for giving me my old background back. The font reminds me of my handwriting, so I thought I would use it. Sorry if it hurts the eyes.
Once again, I am in the lab with a mountain of work to do and emails to write, and not doing either. I felt compelled to write about the weird few days I have had.
On Sunday I wrote about my experiences at the beach, but forgot to include the most bizarre thing of it all (bizarre is a French word, I learned that last night when Frenchie laughed at me AGAIN!). On my way back, the Metro somehow crashed into the fencing on the side. I have no idea how this happened, as the fence is a huge distance away, but apparently someone had moved it to the middle of the tracks and it was hit. The entire apartment building came to their balconies to watch, and I saw this guy with a partially shaved face and shaving cream on the rest of it, holding his razor, looking at the incident. It was really funny. The problem was solved in minutes, and the metro was on its way yet again. How strange.
Also on Sunday, I was talking to a couple of friends online, and apparently that was the day that everyone wanted to tell me strange and surprising things. I will protect the identities of those who said anything, but there were quite a few. I actually thought everything they told me was cool, it was just a bit weird having it all happen at once.
Yesterday I thought it would be a good idea for me to walk to my internship. An hour later, I arrived, late and a bit sweaty. Today I know how much time to leave and what to wear. It is really far, but a nice walk through the ENTIRE city of Valencia. While working with the kids, one girl says, "Ven" (come here) and then kisses me on the cheek. It was so cute! Another did the same. During the break in class, Ignasi ordered them downstairs so as not to disturb the peace in the other classes, and they SWARMED around me. I had a kid on each hand, in front of me, behind me, and at all of my sides. We played "ring around the rosie" in Spanish, but they were mumbling so I never learned the words. I noticed it was the same game, as they sang a similar song and fell down. It was much easier for them to get up, though. Gees. It was really cute.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about who I am and who I want to be, and for this reason, I completely let loose during fallas and did whatever I wanted, without caring what anybody did or said. I have also spent a lot of time taking long walks through the city or going to the beach (although a cold front is coming through--joder!) just to be alone. I think it is important. After all, people travel to find themselves, as it is a life-changing experience. It has been really good for me. I am just really, really, really, really missing Brandon right now, and it has been so long since I have seen him that if I did not have pictures, I would not be able to constrct a clear picture of what he looks like. Everyone admires my loyalty to him, as I have not even dated anyone in eight months, and Spain is all about partying and hooking up. I have resisted temptation (believe me when I tell you I have really had some bad ones!), and stayed loyal to the one I love. There is no way I will ever find anyone in my life that will love me as much as Brandon, and I know that I will never be able to love anyone else like I love him. I realize this more and more as each day passes and I have to live another day without him. Those of you that knew me last year probably think it is a miracle we have not killed each other, let alone maintain a relationship for so long from so far away, but it is true and it is real. Both of us are in as much shock as most of you, to be perfectly honest. Talk about defying the odds!
Besides finding myself, I have been noticing those around me a lot more. Last week I said something that really hurt someone close to me, and even though I was being sarcastic, it was too far. I felt really badly about it, and I apologized this morning. He graciously accepted my apology, and I feel MUCH better now. It was eating away at me because I admire this person for everything in his life, and I would never want him to think otherwise. Like I told him, you cannot take back what you say, but just be more careful about what you say in the future. I most definitely be more careful from now on, because hurting his feelings was one of the worst feelings I have had in a while.
I have also made poor judgements on some people´s characters, thinking that they are really different from who they are. Some of these judgements have been for the positive, and some for the negative. Once again, I do not want to go into specifics, but I just need more time to think about certain people...
Another disturbing issue in my life deals with my dearest roommate. He is leaving me in a week and I cannot believe it! We talked about him leaving last night, and it was actually really sad. Even though I call him Frenchie and make fun of him every second I can, I really care about him and think he is a great guy. I will miss having him around, and knowing that he lives in France rather than that US makes it much more difficult. We have had some great times together, and I will never forget how he has changed my opinion of French people so much. I suppose since he is leaving so soon, I have to write nice things about him in my journal. No, that just is not like me. That will show him for calling me a Power Ranger when I was wearing Brandon´s orange "Operation" pajamas and my slippers. You teach someone English and they use it to make fun of you!
Once again, I am in the lab with a mountain of work to do and emails to write, and not doing either. I felt compelled to write about the weird few days I have had.
On Sunday I wrote about my experiences at the beach, but forgot to include the most bizarre thing of it all (bizarre is a French word, I learned that last night when Frenchie laughed at me AGAIN!). On my way back, the Metro somehow crashed into the fencing on the side. I have no idea how this happened, as the fence is a huge distance away, but apparently someone had moved it to the middle of the tracks and it was hit. The entire apartment building came to their balconies to watch, and I saw this guy with a partially shaved face and shaving cream on the rest of it, holding his razor, looking at the incident. It was really funny. The problem was solved in minutes, and the metro was on its way yet again. How strange.
Also on Sunday, I was talking to a couple of friends online, and apparently that was the day that everyone wanted to tell me strange and surprising things. I will protect the identities of those who said anything, but there were quite a few. I actually thought everything they told me was cool, it was just a bit weird having it all happen at once.
Yesterday I thought it would be a good idea for me to walk to my internship. An hour later, I arrived, late and a bit sweaty. Today I know how much time to leave and what to wear. It is really far, but a nice walk through the ENTIRE city of Valencia. While working with the kids, one girl says, "Ven" (come here) and then kisses me on the cheek. It was so cute! Another did the same. During the break in class, Ignasi ordered them downstairs so as not to disturb the peace in the other classes, and they SWARMED around me. I had a kid on each hand, in front of me, behind me, and at all of my sides. We played "ring around the rosie" in Spanish, but they were mumbling so I never learned the words. I noticed it was the same game, as they sang a similar song and fell down. It was much easier for them to get up, though. Gees. It was really cute.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about who I am and who I want to be, and for this reason, I completely let loose during fallas and did whatever I wanted, without caring what anybody did or said. I have also spent a lot of time taking long walks through the city or going to the beach (although a cold front is coming through--joder!) just to be alone. I think it is important. After all, people travel to find themselves, as it is a life-changing experience. It has been really good for me. I am just really, really, really, really missing Brandon right now, and it has been so long since I have seen him that if I did not have pictures, I would not be able to constrct a clear picture of what he looks like. Everyone admires my loyalty to him, as I have not even dated anyone in eight months, and Spain is all about partying and hooking up. I have resisted temptation (believe me when I tell you I have really had some bad ones!), and stayed loyal to the one I love. There is no way I will ever find anyone in my life that will love me as much as Brandon, and I know that I will never be able to love anyone else like I love him. I realize this more and more as each day passes and I have to live another day without him. Those of you that knew me last year probably think it is a miracle we have not killed each other, let alone maintain a relationship for so long from so far away, but it is true and it is real. Both of us are in as much shock as most of you, to be perfectly honest. Talk about defying the odds!
Besides finding myself, I have been noticing those around me a lot more. Last week I said something that really hurt someone close to me, and even though I was being sarcastic, it was too far. I felt really badly about it, and I apologized this morning. He graciously accepted my apology, and I feel MUCH better now. It was eating away at me because I admire this person for everything in his life, and I would never want him to think otherwise. Like I told him, you cannot take back what you say, but just be more careful about what you say in the future. I most definitely be more careful from now on, because hurting his feelings was one of the worst feelings I have had in a while.
I have also made poor judgements on some people´s characters, thinking that they are really different from who they are. Some of these judgements have been for the positive, and some for the negative. Once again, I do not want to go into specifics, but I just need more time to think about certain people...
Another disturbing issue in my life deals with my dearest roommate. He is leaving me in a week and I cannot believe it! We talked about him leaving last night, and it was actually really sad. Even though I call him Frenchie and make fun of him every second I can, I really care about him and think he is a great guy. I will miss having him around, and knowing that he lives in France rather than that US makes it much more difficult. We have had some great times together, and I will never forget how he has changed my opinion of French people so much. I suppose since he is leaving so soon, I have to write nice things about him in my journal. No, that just is not like me. That will show him for calling me a Power Ranger when I was wearing Brandon´s orange "Operation" pajamas and my slippers. You teach someone English and they use it to make fun of you!