i saw your face and you smiled at me and you took my hand and you stole my heart away
hello friends.
i am neutral on the impending doom of summer ending and school starting. i dont think i really realize that it is happening yet. it will hit when i QUIT HEB and when i start packing all my crap up for college. honestly though, materialistic fiend that i am, i enjoy packing. it's like taking inventory of all my ridiculous things.
and speaking of my ridiculous things, i had to partake in a little tax free shopping today (like i need an excuse). i gave in to some little boy baller shorts from AF kids, jeans and yet another hoodie from AE and for some reason... two tubs of body butter from the body shop and 3 bottles of soap from bath and body works. why so many?, you may ask. well, b/c christie gets SUCKED into deals. spend $30 and get $5 off, and etc. they throw the bait... and i just snatch it up. but an afternoon at barton with vicky on the last tax free day was still good for a laugh. waiting in storewide lines and the tradition of totaling the damage on the ride home. my goal of saving a $1,000 over this summer went further down the drain than i'd like to say. oh well. like the tardy referrals and having to take all 7 final exams last semester of senior yr- it was worth it!
today was supposedly the last lighthouse (my church youth group service) for us graduated seniors. not that it will stop me from coming back next week, b/c hey man, i havnt started college yet. in some ways, i feel like lighthouse is close to my heart and it's really sad to not be a part of it anymore, but in other ways i can feel how i've grown out of it. today i felt like there's this slight sense of ... dissapointment in the kids... like they're expecting a more fluid, magical service. but what i realized recently is that it will never be impressive unless you are focusing on what you put into worship instead of what you got out of it. i think i used to so rely on a good worship set (with a hot worship leader- HAH) and a funny, interesting speaker, and if it didn't meet my standards, then i just said to myself "eh. didn't do anything for me," and went home. but it was supposed to be the other way around, b/c i was supposed to be doing something for it. and every week that i spent first hour cutting up 100 fliers and stayed after to have those slightly productive meetings i felt underlying discontent. but in retrospect, it was a very fufilling year, from that first leadership lock-in, my awesome, talented writing breakout, that movie month, those feeble prayer meetings, getting to know sam lee, and everything else.
as singular as i was as a senior girl, whenever i ran into lighthouse at 9:30 on sunday mornings to a sparse gathering of worship team, pastor's kids and counselors i felt very at home. and then when service began at 11, i saw so much more how we were putting on this whole shebang for God, as opposed to sam putting on this show for us. so in the end, despite the comments of the failure of our grade and the slow dip of our ministry i am so glad i was a part of the "lull", when we got to see the bare bones and what lighthouse was really made of. so now, i guess i shouldnt walk with so much doubt and reluctance toward liquid, or whatever new church i'm going to end up with b/c i can't put a box on whatever God will make next. b/c even though it is my NUMBER ONE least favorite thing to do, leaving my comfort zone is neccesary.
wow. what a long introspective babble.
continuing on about me: even though i am staunchly against ever having to raise children (me having to raise them, that is. other mothers of the world, rock on), lately i have been feeling, could it be? maternal pangs. but solely for a baby. boy or girl, i just want to hold it for awhile. changing it and feeding it i could even withstand in return for being able to rock it to sleep. you can only imagine my reaction to a picture like this. but i trust that this feeling, like that month i made dinner once a week and baked every weekend, will soon pass.
also, i shoudl mention... i got a wave perm on thursday. janel got one, and i was like, hey. i want one too. so eat it, felicity. i have curly hair too.
and then one more picture of scott speedman b/c he is a hottie.
and. that's it.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
wang.
i am neutral on the impending doom of summer ending and school starting. i dont think i really realize that it is happening yet. it will hit when i QUIT HEB and when i start packing all my crap up for college. honestly though, materialistic fiend that i am, i enjoy packing. it's like taking inventory of all my ridiculous things.
and speaking of my ridiculous things, i had to partake in a little tax free shopping today (like i need an excuse). i gave in to some little boy baller shorts from AF kids, jeans and yet another hoodie from AE and for some reason... two tubs of body butter from the body shop and 3 bottles of soap from bath and body works. why so many?, you may ask. well, b/c christie gets SUCKED into deals. spend $30 and get $5 off, and etc. they throw the bait... and i just snatch it up. but an afternoon at barton with vicky on the last tax free day was still good for a laugh. waiting in storewide lines and the tradition of totaling the damage on the ride home. my goal of saving a $1,000 over this summer went further down the drain than i'd like to say. oh well. like the tardy referrals and having to take all 7 final exams last semester of senior yr- it was worth it!
today was supposedly the last lighthouse (my church youth group service) for us graduated seniors. not that it will stop me from coming back next week, b/c hey man, i havnt started college yet. in some ways, i feel like lighthouse is close to my heart and it's really sad to not be a part of it anymore, but in other ways i can feel how i've grown out of it. today i felt like there's this slight sense of ... dissapointment in the kids... like they're expecting a more fluid, magical service. but what i realized recently is that it will never be impressive unless you are focusing on what you put into worship instead of what you got out of it. i think i used to so rely on a good worship set (with a hot worship leader- HAH) and a funny, interesting speaker, and if it didn't meet my standards, then i just said to myself "eh. didn't do anything for me," and went home. but it was supposed to be the other way around, b/c i was supposed to be doing something for it. and every week that i spent first hour cutting up 100 fliers and stayed after to have those slightly productive meetings i felt underlying discontent. but in retrospect, it was a very fufilling year, from that first leadership lock-in, my awesome, talented writing breakout, that movie month, those feeble prayer meetings, getting to know sam lee, and everything else.
as singular as i was as a senior girl, whenever i ran into lighthouse at 9:30 on sunday mornings to a sparse gathering of worship team, pastor's kids and counselors i felt very at home. and then when service began at 11, i saw so much more how we were putting on this whole shebang for God, as opposed to sam putting on this show for us. so in the end, despite the comments of the failure of our grade and the slow dip of our ministry i am so glad i was a part of the "lull", when we got to see the bare bones and what lighthouse was really made of. so now, i guess i shouldnt walk with so much doubt and reluctance toward liquid, or whatever new church i'm going to end up with b/c i can't put a box on whatever God will make next. b/c even though it is my NUMBER ONE least favorite thing to do, leaving my comfort zone is neccesary.
wow. what a long introspective babble.
continuing on about me: even though i am staunchly against ever having to raise children (me having to raise them, that is. other mothers of the world, rock on), lately i have been feeling, could it be? maternal pangs. but solely for a baby. boy or girl, i just want to hold it for awhile. changing it and feeding it i could even withstand in return for being able to rock it to sleep. you can only imagine my reaction to a picture like this. but i trust that this feeling, like that month i made dinner once a week and baked every weekend, will soon pass.
also, i shoudl mention... i got a wave perm on thursday. janel got one, and i was like, hey. i want one too. so eat it, felicity. i have curly hair too.
and then one more picture of scott speedman b/c he is a hottie.
and. that's it.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
wang.