(no subject)
Boom. Boom. Boom.
It's the 4th of July. My least favorite holiday. I hate fireworks. They're kind of pretty... but they're such a waist of time and energy and money and clean air.
The last couple of years I've spent this time with my friend Tommy Andrews back home in Beaverton, OR. It's his birthday. I never hung out with him too often, but even though I wasn't really part of his main group, I always felt welcome. He had some very interesting friends and his parents were the kind you wanted for yourself and he had good taste in music and he was such a geek... but was still oh so cool. I hope very much that our paths will cross again someday. I'm sure they will.
Tasha's grandmother (name=Gracie... crazy old woman that raised Tasha for the second half of her life) came over for dinner today. We had to clean the house in detail because Tasha would never hear the end of it if we didn't. Once I witnessed Gracie yelling (and I mean yelling) as Tasha for half an hour (no joke) about the horrible state her room was in... and I do not exagerate when I say that the only thing unkept about it is that her bed had been slept in and not made.
the visit whent well actually. We ate, played a few games of RummyCube ate some ice cream and she went home and Tasha took her cigarettes out of hiding and we all had screwdrivers. Gracie is an old lady with old lady values. She hates the fact that Tasha is gay... but as time passes... I feel more accepted by her.
We are planning on having a wedding in September of next year. It is going to be small and low budget. I'm sure we'll invite all her family and mine. It will be interesting. I've met her father a few times. I don't think he likes me at all. But that's alright because I don't really like him because he was such a bad father to the love of my life. Tasha does have some bitchen ass aunts though.
My family has only heard about Tasha through the grapevine. They all live in Colorado and I haven't seen them for two years. They are typically speaking very catholic and right winged. I don't know how they will react to this whole comming out of the closet thing... the only reaction that I've heard about on this end of the grapevine is that my aunt Val said that she was not at all surpised. Some day (hopefully before the wedding) I'd like to take Tasha back to where my roots are and meet everyone. It wouldn't be comefortable... and far from a vacation... but if nothing else, perhaps it'd be good for her to see where I came from.
I watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith last night with Tasha. Not a bad movie. In the middle of the movie the husband and wife are trying to kill eachother and there's broken things everywhere and they're bleeding and kicking eachother's asses and all of the sudden they start getting it on. This made so much sense to me. I could see why bruses and blood could lead to sexual desire. After the two desided they wanted to be together I noticed that I was getting bored with the movie... I rapped around Tasha and started sucking on her fingers a little. At this point I realized that I had somehow become horney. This must be bad, I though. I get too horney... Tasha doesn't like it... I should stop... there's no reason for me to be horney right now... it's not appropreate. Besides I didn't want her to think that I was getting hot because of Angalina. truth be told, Tasha is the one with a crush on her, not me. I see her appeal... there's no denying that... but where as Tasha might have been thinking about how wonderful it would be to be with a woman that looks like her, I was fantasising looking like her myself. What if I were taller and thiner and had long beautiful hair and full lips like her? I wish I could have these things for Tasha. Of course Tasha doesn't really care about her looks for me, so I shouldn't care about my looks for her so much.
She will love me no matter what I look like... just as I would for her.
But I'd still like to be more sexy. I feel so unattractive sometimes. I now weigh about 155 lbs. When I moved to Washington a year ago (this Thursday) I only weighed 140 lbs. I'm going to try to eat better and move around a bit more in hopes of getting that 15 lbs. off again. I feel like such a cow sometimes. Occationally I complain to Tasha about it... but I really shouldn't... because she weighs far more than I do. Of course with DDD's her breasts alone must weigh about 30 lbs.
Well... I'm in the house right now and she is out watching the neighbors' fireworks... I should probably be less rude and go back out there.... I don't really want to though. I'd like to go to sleep.... though I wouldn't be able to though all of this noise... I'm a bit of a light sleeper. but I'll go and check on her anyway.
It's the 4th of July. My least favorite holiday. I hate fireworks. They're kind of pretty... but they're such a waist of time and energy and money and clean air.
The last couple of years I've spent this time with my friend Tommy Andrews back home in Beaverton, OR. It's his birthday. I never hung out with him too often, but even though I wasn't really part of his main group, I always felt welcome. He had some very interesting friends and his parents were the kind you wanted for yourself and he had good taste in music and he was such a geek... but was still oh so cool. I hope very much that our paths will cross again someday. I'm sure they will.
Tasha's grandmother (name=Gracie... crazy old woman that raised Tasha for the second half of her life) came over for dinner today. We had to clean the house in detail because Tasha would never hear the end of it if we didn't. Once I witnessed Gracie yelling (and I mean yelling) as Tasha for half an hour (no joke) about the horrible state her room was in... and I do not exagerate when I say that the only thing unkept about it is that her bed had been slept in and not made.
the visit whent well actually. We ate, played a few games of RummyCube ate some ice cream and she went home and Tasha took her cigarettes out of hiding and we all had screwdrivers. Gracie is an old lady with old lady values. She hates the fact that Tasha is gay... but as time passes... I feel more accepted by her.
We are planning on having a wedding in September of next year. It is going to be small and low budget. I'm sure we'll invite all her family and mine. It will be interesting. I've met her father a few times. I don't think he likes me at all. But that's alright because I don't really like him because he was such a bad father to the love of my life. Tasha does have some bitchen ass aunts though.
My family has only heard about Tasha through the grapevine. They all live in Colorado and I haven't seen them for two years. They are typically speaking very catholic and right winged. I don't know how they will react to this whole comming out of the closet thing... the only reaction that I've heard about on this end of the grapevine is that my aunt Val said that she was not at all surpised. Some day (hopefully before the wedding) I'd like to take Tasha back to where my roots are and meet everyone. It wouldn't be comefortable... and far from a vacation... but if nothing else, perhaps it'd be good for her to see where I came from.
I watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith last night with Tasha. Not a bad movie. In the middle of the movie the husband and wife are trying to kill eachother and there's broken things everywhere and they're bleeding and kicking eachother's asses and all of the sudden they start getting it on. This made so much sense to me. I could see why bruses and blood could lead to sexual desire. After the two desided they wanted to be together I noticed that I was getting bored with the movie... I rapped around Tasha and started sucking on her fingers a little. At this point I realized that I had somehow become horney. This must be bad, I though. I get too horney... Tasha doesn't like it... I should stop... there's no reason for me to be horney right now... it's not appropreate. Besides I didn't want her to think that I was getting hot because of Angalina. truth be told, Tasha is the one with a crush on her, not me. I see her appeal... there's no denying that... but where as Tasha might have been thinking about how wonderful it would be to be with a woman that looks like her, I was fantasising looking like her myself. What if I were taller and thiner and had long beautiful hair and full lips like her? I wish I could have these things for Tasha. Of course Tasha doesn't really care about her looks for me, so I shouldn't care about my looks for her so much.
She will love me no matter what I look like... just as I would for her.
But I'd still like to be more sexy. I feel so unattractive sometimes. I now weigh about 155 lbs. When I moved to Washington a year ago (this Thursday) I only weighed 140 lbs. I'm going to try to eat better and move around a bit more in hopes of getting that 15 lbs. off again. I feel like such a cow sometimes. Occationally I complain to Tasha about it... but I really shouldn't... because she weighs far more than I do. Of course with DDD's her breasts alone must weigh about 30 lbs.
Well... I'm in the house right now and she is out watching the neighbors' fireworks... I should probably be less rude and go back out there.... I don't really want to though. I'd like to go to sleep.... though I wouldn't be able to though all of this noise... I'm a bit of a light sleeper. but I'll go and check on her anyway.