long time no post i know
So this summer has been semi hectic with my two jobs going and everything. I really havent had the urge to update this thing, but tonight something came over me and i was like "hrm i should update." so here i am.
life has been decent lately.
my brother has been gone for a week now, it seems like eternity though. for as much as he has driven me crazy in my life, i must say i miss havin him around. but hes getting his life started so more power to him. unlike me still living at home trying to figure out what im going to do with myself.
amanda on the other hand. thats a novel in itself. I really am not going to talk about that issue because i would be here all night and it would only upset me more by talking about. so if your that f**in concerned then i guess ask. but for all matters dont waste your time caring. haha
my jobs are going well. I LOVE MY UTA JOB! haha its like the coolest ever. Usually when schools out you should dread having to go up there, but somehow, somewhere i've found my niche at UTA and im really glad. The Pysc Grad Students are amazingly awesome. Alittle out there, but who isnt these days.
My social life is well im guessing. Going here and there when i can. Meeting up with people from my past, which im really good i decided to do. My past hasnt been the greatest in the world, well not even really worth talking about, but the people who have come back in my life i am glad about. Wee.
I guess i really have just been in my own little world lately. Nothing bad or anything, I guess I am really just trying to find who I am and learning to grow comfortable with and love. I've been struggling with self confidence for sometime. It feels like when I finally am taking steps in the right direction something gets in the way and knocks me back a mile. I really think for the longest time i was pretending to be someone who I wasnt so i would be liked more and accepted by others when all it did was get in a lot of weird situations that I didnt want to be in. When I moved home I didnt know where I fit in anymore and I wanted to be accepted and welcomed by everyone so badly I did whatever it took for that to happen, and now Ive realized thats not me at all..
I know more than likely this wont be read by anyone, and Im not trying to sit here and make excuses for my behaviors, but its like I have tried for like a year now well alittle more to figure all my shit out and it truly sucks deep down to not know who I am anymore.
boo i hate feeling like this. so im gonna end this now before sadness breaks out into song.
peace
life has been decent lately.
my brother has been gone for a week now, it seems like eternity though. for as much as he has driven me crazy in my life, i must say i miss havin him around. but hes getting his life started so more power to him. unlike me still living at home trying to figure out what im going to do with myself.
amanda on the other hand. thats a novel in itself. I really am not going to talk about that issue because i would be here all night and it would only upset me more by talking about. so if your that f**in concerned then i guess ask. but for all matters dont waste your time caring. haha
my jobs are going well. I LOVE MY UTA JOB! haha its like the coolest ever. Usually when schools out you should dread having to go up there, but somehow, somewhere i've found my niche at UTA and im really glad. The Pysc Grad Students are amazingly awesome. Alittle out there, but who isnt these days.
My social life is well im guessing. Going here and there when i can. Meeting up with people from my past, which im really good i decided to do. My past hasnt been the greatest in the world, well not even really worth talking about, but the people who have come back in my life i am glad about. Wee.
I guess i really have just been in my own little world lately. Nothing bad or anything, I guess I am really just trying to find who I am and learning to grow comfortable with and love. I've been struggling with self confidence for sometime. It feels like when I finally am taking steps in the right direction something gets in the way and knocks me back a mile. I really think for the longest time i was pretending to be someone who I wasnt so i would be liked more and accepted by others when all it did was get in a lot of weird situations that I didnt want to be in. When I moved home I didnt know where I fit in anymore and I wanted to be accepted and welcomed by everyone so badly I did whatever it took for that to happen, and now Ive realized thats not me at all..
I know more than likely this wont be read by anyone, and Im not trying to sit here and make excuses for my behaviors, but its like I have tried for like a year now well alittle more to figure all my shit out and it truly sucks deep down to not know who I am anymore.
boo i hate feeling like this. so im gonna end this now before sadness breaks out into song.
peace