DEG: Kaoru/Toshiya: January
Title: January
Author: rheak
Pairing: Kaoru/Toshiya (Dir en Grey)
Rating:NC-17ish for some mature situations
Summary: He steps slowly, feeling the entire weight of his body press down on the concrete and gravel, the muscles in his back aching, the cold January air hitting him in the face.
Disclaimer: The events and characters depicted in the following piece of work are completely fictitious. Even though similarities with the members of Dir en Grey, or other public personae may be found they are in no way impling that any of the events or character traits are true. I do not know the members of Dir en Grey, and am in no way affiliated to them, the story itself is completely untrue and is in no way meant to reflect the private lives, actual practices, or activities of any persons named. No harm, libel or disrespect is intended. No statements whatsoever and no commercial gain are made out of the work archived here; this is simply for entertainment purposes.
A/N: Written in the same universe as this. Can be read together or separately. For cateris. You are my house on the lake. And for sick_pride. Thank you. For more than just today.
Fanfic Archive: pinkucellphone
January
---
He steps slowly, feeling the entire weight of his body press down on the concrete and gravel, the muscles in his back aching, the cold January air hitting him in the face. His jacket is open and it fails in keeping him warm, the chill prickling at the skin below his chest, the chains and necklaces moving suddenly cool against him. He shakes the hair out of his face and his fingers close against the lighter in his pocket. He moves forward after Toshiya on the path to the lake.
-
In the grey light the house looked forlorn and tattered but Kaoru smiled and pushed his hands deeper into his pockets.
Later Toshiya boiled some tea and they took the sheets off the furniture, the old chairs, the old sofa and the old table. He straightened a picture frame on the wall and Toshiya sneezed. He watched the dust dance in the frozen air, his jacket on and the way it mingled with his cigarette smoke.
-
Do you want this? And they’re both naked, Toshiya’s thigh against him, their bodies touching at the hips, the hair and the sweat between them, Kaoru’s body half over his. It makes him hard, harder and Toshiya bites his own lip beneath him. Yes, shut up, his voice a small, small and calm smiling breeze against his lips. Do you want this? And mmm, mmm, yeah, and it’s unnecessary and redundant and they both know, Kaoru knows that yes, yes he wants it, has been wanting it for a long time. Yet he asks and Toshiya answers into his mouth, his hips pushing upwards. Touch me.
Toshiya shaved and Kaoru didn’t, there’s a red cheek and a red mouth a perfect red round chin beneath his lips, beneath his tongue and it’s snowing outside, while Toshiya whispers tiny pleas into his ear, into his hair, his fingers dig hard into the skin of his shoulders, of his lower back, grabbing at his thighs, his buttocks and Kaoru’s mind boils in nonsensical images to the sound of Toshiya’s harsh panting and his own grunts.
It’s snowing outside and his palm is pressed horizontal over Toshiya’s forehead, his eyes following each gape, each arch, each press of eyes, each flash of recognition behind those sweat filled lashes. His other hand curled beneath a knee and there's a line between Toshiya’s brows, as he comes in violent shudders, shaking him to his own release.
-
It snows inside his mind, in big sluggish flakes, he watches them descend in slow motion, big and soft and heavy, they push him down slowly, very slowly and white and then his eyes open on Toshiya’s Adam apple and the small lifting and lowering of his chest. His head rests against his shoulder and Toshiya smells of skin and man and sex and old sheets in a house in Nagano. For a second it seems unfamiliar, a foreign pattern of light and blur and he focuses slowly close on Toshiya’s sleeping form. He thinks he always thought him beautiful and Toshiya turns towards him, the light shining over the three dots on his cheek. Toshiya sleeps and his upper lip is red, red, an indistinct contour, just red and resting upon the other.
The first time they did it in silence, alcohol and this same bed. They drove for hours, from Tokyo to Nagano, one summer, not so long ago, and Kaoru tried to focus on the new place, the silent memories etched into the walls and every grass stalk, the intimacy with which Toshiya opened a door, or how he reached a beer to him later, gurgling down his own. How Toshiya leaned over and all that he said in Tokyo in a hallway pressed itself down, tangible, onto his lips, into his mouth.
He looks at the ceiling and thinks of that night alone in the kitchen thinking about what Toshiya had said, the way things didn’t make sense, the dread and then the complete loneliness towards daybreak. Talking on the phone later. And ok, ok. Ok.
He thinks, what a dreadful way to start a relationship.
Toshiya stirs and his knee bumps into Kaoru’s, and Kaoru thinks that wasn’t everything. That wasn’t.
His eyes move to the window, his hand grabs Toshiya’s phone and it’s 8 o’clock.
When he looks through the pictures he sees himself staring into the screen, a photo Toshiya took on the first day when they arrived. His face is relaxed, comfortable and he puts the phone down.
That wasn’t everything. The loneliness, the convenience. It wasn’t everything.
His fingers touch Toshiya’s, curl around the index, move slowly over it.
The first time they did it, the sound of their teeth clashing seemed unbearable, deafening, there was alcohol, and Toshiya’s hand between them. He got hard, then not, then still and Toshiya trembled, he can remember that clearly, his face looking away, the way his elbow shook, the way he looked at everything except his eyes. The way he pushed his pants down. The way he came into Toshiya’s mouth. The way he slumped over him and Toshiya barely moved to his side, silent, expectant maybe, how he got a silly sudden want to hold him and Toshiya held him in return, a smile pressed against his shoulder. How he jerked Toshiya off like that, the heat of his chest, the way his palms held him tight and how he muffled his moans against his shoulder, not letting go.
-
The lake is black and not frozen, the snow melted and he’s looking at the red leaves everywhere, the way the trees seem a dark grey green in the distance. When he turns Toshiya smiles at him and he says, we need to fix the dock this summer. Watches Toshiya's smile grow wider behind his scarf and he smiles in return. And then Toshiya says, Yeah, yeah we should.
---
-----
same universe
Author: rheak
Pairing: Kaoru/Toshiya (Dir en Grey)
Rating:NC-17ish for some mature situations
Summary: He steps slowly, feeling the entire weight of his body press down on the concrete and gravel, the muscles in his back aching, the cold January air hitting him in the face.
Disclaimer: The events and characters depicted in the following piece of work are completely fictitious. Even though similarities with the members of Dir en Grey, or other public personae may be found they are in no way impling that any of the events or character traits are true. I do not know the members of Dir en Grey, and am in no way affiliated to them, the story itself is completely untrue and is in no way meant to reflect the private lives, actual practices, or activities of any persons named. No harm, libel or disrespect is intended. No statements whatsoever and no commercial gain are made out of the work archived here; this is simply for entertainment purposes.
A/N: Written in the same universe as this. Can be read together or separately. For cateris. You are my house on the lake. And for sick_pride. Thank you. For more than just today.
Fanfic Archive: pinkucellphone
January
---
He steps slowly, feeling the entire weight of his body press down on the concrete and gravel, the muscles in his back aching, the cold January air hitting him in the face. His jacket is open and it fails in keeping him warm, the chill prickling at the skin below his chest, the chains and necklaces moving suddenly cool against him. He shakes the hair out of his face and his fingers close against the lighter in his pocket. He moves forward after Toshiya on the path to the lake.
-
In the grey light the house looked forlorn and tattered but Kaoru smiled and pushed his hands deeper into his pockets.
Later Toshiya boiled some tea and they took the sheets off the furniture, the old chairs, the old sofa and the old table. He straightened a picture frame on the wall and Toshiya sneezed. He watched the dust dance in the frozen air, his jacket on and the way it mingled with his cigarette smoke.
-
Do you want this? And they’re both naked, Toshiya’s thigh against him, their bodies touching at the hips, the hair and the sweat between them, Kaoru’s body half over his. It makes him hard, harder and Toshiya bites his own lip beneath him. Yes, shut up, his voice a small, small and calm smiling breeze against his lips. Do you want this? And mmm, mmm, yeah, and it’s unnecessary and redundant and they both know, Kaoru knows that yes, yes he wants it, has been wanting it for a long time. Yet he asks and Toshiya answers into his mouth, his hips pushing upwards. Touch me.
Toshiya shaved and Kaoru didn’t, there’s a red cheek and a red mouth a perfect red round chin beneath his lips, beneath his tongue and it’s snowing outside, while Toshiya whispers tiny pleas into his ear, into his hair, his fingers dig hard into the skin of his shoulders, of his lower back, grabbing at his thighs, his buttocks and Kaoru’s mind boils in nonsensical images to the sound of Toshiya’s harsh panting and his own grunts.
It’s snowing outside and his palm is pressed horizontal over Toshiya’s forehead, his eyes following each gape, each arch, each press of eyes, each flash of recognition behind those sweat filled lashes. His other hand curled beneath a knee and there's a line between Toshiya’s brows, as he comes in violent shudders, shaking him to his own release.
-
It snows inside his mind, in big sluggish flakes, he watches them descend in slow motion, big and soft and heavy, they push him down slowly, very slowly and white and then his eyes open on Toshiya’s Adam apple and the small lifting and lowering of his chest. His head rests against his shoulder and Toshiya smells of skin and man and sex and old sheets in a house in Nagano. For a second it seems unfamiliar, a foreign pattern of light and blur and he focuses slowly close on Toshiya’s sleeping form. He thinks he always thought him beautiful and Toshiya turns towards him, the light shining over the three dots on his cheek. Toshiya sleeps and his upper lip is red, red, an indistinct contour, just red and resting upon the other.
The first time they did it in silence, alcohol and this same bed. They drove for hours, from Tokyo to Nagano, one summer, not so long ago, and Kaoru tried to focus on the new place, the silent memories etched into the walls and every grass stalk, the intimacy with which Toshiya opened a door, or how he reached a beer to him later, gurgling down his own. How Toshiya leaned over and all that he said in Tokyo in a hallway pressed itself down, tangible, onto his lips, into his mouth.
He looks at the ceiling and thinks of that night alone in the kitchen thinking about what Toshiya had said, the way things didn’t make sense, the dread and then the complete loneliness towards daybreak. Talking on the phone later. And ok, ok. Ok.
He thinks, what a dreadful way to start a relationship.
Toshiya stirs and his knee bumps into Kaoru’s, and Kaoru thinks that wasn’t everything. That wasn’t.
His eyes move to the window, his hand grabs Toshiya’s phone and it’s 8 o’clock.
When he looks through the pictures he sees himself staring into the screen, a photo Toshiya took on the first day when they arrived. His face is relaxed, comfortable and he puts the phone down.
That wasn’t everything. The loneliness, the convenience. It wasn’t everything.
His fingers touch Toshiya’s, curl around the index, move slowly over it.
The first time they did it, the sound of their teeth clashing seemed unbearable, deafening, there was alcohol, and Toshiya’s hand between them. He got hard, then not, then still and Toshiya trembled, he can remember that clearly, his face looking away, the way his elbow shook, the way he looked at everything except his eyes. The way he pushed his pants down. The way he came into Toshiya’s mouth. The way he slumped over him and Toshiya barely moved to his side, silent, expectant maybe, how he got a silly sudden want to hold him and Toshiya held him in return, a smile pressed against his shoulder. How he jerked Toshiya off like that, the heat of his chest, the way his palms held him tight and how he muffled his moans against his shoulder, not letting go.
-
The lake is black and not frozen, the snow melted and he’s looking at the red leaves everywhere, the way the trees seem a dark grey green in the distance. When he turns Toshiya smiles at him and he says, we need to fix the dock this summer. Watches Toshiya's smile grow wider behind his scarf and he smiles in return. And then Toshiya says, Yeah, yeah we should.
---
-----
same universe