(no subject)
Even though we talked and sorted stuff out last night and he even gave me a kiss I still feel unsure as to what to do...I want Nathan back so bad.... I want to help him...but he doesn't really want me there....not much anyway. I feel like I need to win him back but he doesn't want sex or anything like that not that's the only way to win him back but it's normally the way to make up. He told me he loves me last night....he kissed me for a while too....I don't want to get my hopes up I just really want him back so badly....it's so hard not seeing him.....we were suppose to be going to dublin next weekend but that's not going to happen now...even though on saturday night he was telling people he was going to ireland soon...so i duno...he's all over the place right now tho....I so wish we could solve all this by booking into a hotel for the whole weekend and not getting out of bed! i wish so bad! I don't really know if we are together or not now? I spose I ust want him to get better first...I duno I think it's just I have it in my head that he felt he could have a relationship with someone else but not me, my confidence is rock bottom....it sucks ass! I want him so bad! oh why doesn't he want me? what's wrong with me? All I can think about also is did anything happen between them? he says it didn't but i don't know.... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh what happened? I really wish i knew what happened? I wish I could fix things too. I wish he knew i love him so much and would do anything for him.... there's so many things i want to tell him but i cant... i just don't know how he would react!?