Fukutaicho: More Bleach
Title: Fukutaicho
Fandom: Bleach
Pairing: One sided Soi Fon/Yoruichi, hinted Urahara/Yoruichi
Genre: Romance, angst
Rating: T
Warnings: Weird relationships, potential cursing and implications of sex
Summary: Soi Fon reflects upon her attachment to a certain woman, despite her knowledge that the woman will never really be hers.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7721248/1/Fukutaicho
Note: And yes, I know that Soi Fon was not Yoruichi's fukutaicho. The connection is how I believe Soi Fon feels about her own fukutaicho and how she viewed her relationship with Yoruichi as closer than that of a captain and lieutenant.
As far as Soi Fon was concerned, Omaeda was her fukutaicho in name only.
The bond between a captain and their lieutenant was supposed to be uniquely strong. Although rank was definitely present, they were supposed to be partners in most things-fighting, strategy, management-even the more mundane tasks involved in running a division. Almost every taicho-fukutaicho pair had a very close relationship in some way or another. While being lovers was the exception rather than the rule, most pairs held some form of love and affection for each other, whether it be familiar or reverential.
It made Soi Fon sick.
Just as Aizen claimed that he never considered anyone but Gin his lieutenant, Soi Fon never acknowledged anyone but Yoruichi as her partner, in any way. She and Yoruichi had never shared a taicho-fukutaicho relationship, but in Soi Fon's opinion, theirs had been much stronger, as master and servant, teacher and student, deity and worshipper. Yoruichi was not just her captain or her boss; she was Soi Fon's life. It sounded dramatic, but the extreme devotion came naturally to her. The Fon clan served the Shinoins, and Soi Fon's fascination with the Shinoin heir lent itself easily to that cause, and she was delighted to be accepted as Yoruichi's protégé, her confidante, her bodyguard, and she hoped, her friend. Although Omaeda was Yoruichi's fukutaicho and Urahara her closest friend, Soi Fon considered herself Yoruichi's only true partner.
Her utter devotion lent itself to complex emotional jungles. Soi Fon resented everyone who dared work for Yoruichi, especially her fukutaicho and 4rd seat. They were incompetent, and simply unworthy of Yoruichi's trust. Unfortunately, Yoruichi did not seem to view the situation in the same light, which only made Soi Fon worship her more.
Yoruichi was the embodiment of everything Soi Fon held dear-strength, speed, grace, beauty, kindness, self-reliance-and as such, she could find no nobler calling than to devote her life to this strange and marvelous creature. It was only natural that she would fall in love with the woman, inevitable, even. Funnily enough, it was never a matter of sexual attraction. Soi Fon certainly noticed Yoruichi's beauty, but approached it with more reverence than pure attraction. She had no biological desire to engage in sexual acts with the woman, but she longed to do so, if only to gain some sort of possession over such an ethereal being. When she dreamed of waking up next to the Shinoin princess, she dreamed or trust and loyalty, and never having to fear abandonment. It was not about physical desire, but a deeper kind of longing which transcended sexuality.
This was part of the reason she detested Kisuke Urahara. Soi Fon could see that he also loved her Yoruichi, but in a different way. Kisuke may have seen everything in Yoruichi that Soi Fon did, all the fierce determination and surety of movement which never failed to capture anyone's gaze, but he was a man. He was attracted to his captain, physically and viscerally as well as mentally, and for that he was not ashamed. While Soi Fon admired Yoruichi's grace in fighting, Urahara simultaneously noticed the heaving motion of her ample curve and the sinuous lines of her lithe body. Urahara was capable of loving Yoruichi in a way that Soi Fon could not, and for that, she hated him.
And yet, they shared a kind of unspoken companionship. Even when she roared in anger at seeing Urahara emerge clearly rumpled after spending a night in the captain's barracks, she understood him. As he passed her on her perch outside of Yoruichi's door, far enough away to afford privacy but close enough to be present if danger arose, he met her smoldering glare with an apologetic half smile. They both knew what it was like to be hopelessly enchanted by the indomitable spirit that was Yoruichi Shinoin, and to be in a constant orbit around her. But Kisuke was allowed to look, to touch, while Soi Fon was relegated to a distant vigil at a shrine which the deity herself was unaware of.
When Yoruichi left, taking Kisuke and Tessai with her, Soi Fon could find no handy words to describe her state of turmoil. She knew that in the competition for Yoruichi's heart, Kisuke would always remain victorious, but she had believed that her captain had cared for her, as a sister at least, or even as a loyal servant. Yoruichi's willingness to abandon all the trappings of her rank, all the titles she had created and filled with such vitality, Soi Fon's world began to crumble at the edges. Rationalization only went so far, and such a willful spirit as Yoruichi was hard to contain behind a goddess like façade. In the end, she grieved, because the center of her world had been ripped from beneath her, shaking the foundations of her entire life. All her beliefs, all her actions, had been specifically geared towards the safety and approval of Yoruichi, and Yoruichi was gone, leaving Soi Fon without a word of appreciation or even acknowledgement. That was what hurt the most-the knowledge that Yoruichi did not, and probably never had, needed Soi Fon the way that Soi Fon had needed her.
The sudden departure left her bare, and she realized how pathetic she was to base her entire being around this one woman, no matter how extraordinary. And despite her realization, Soi Fon made the conscious decision that, having thrown her life at Yoruichi's feet, there was no point in detaching herself from the vision of the woman now. So she centered her life again, this time around a presence and a memory rather than a woman. She simultaneously worshipped Yoruichi's legacy even as she tried to undermine it by filling the positions Yoruichi had left and trying to prove that she could do better. All these efforts were aimed as much at convincing herself as they were at proving to everyone else that she could survive, and surpass the woman she had so long put on a pedestal.
As Yoruichi's unfortunate successor, she was expected to fulfill certain duties. Among them, publically distancing herself from the disgraced noblewoman and choosing a fukutaicho. Both were impossible to do, and Soi Fon chose to simply go through the motions so as to appease the Gotei 13. Her condemnations of the former taicho were obviously contrived, but no one dared to call her on it. When it came time to choose a fukutaicho, she was reluctant. A captain and lieutenant were supposed to share a bond as partners which she knew she was incapable of providing, because the only person to whom she would award such trust and loyalty was gone. But under immense pressure from the officials in Sereitei, she acquiesced, and chose the most deplorable, grotesque, disgusting excuse for a shinigami she could find. Although she could not stand the sight of the second generation Omaeda, she considered it penance for her foolishness at daring to hope for such a relationship with Yoruichi. And since the very existence of her fukutaicho offended all of her carefully placed sensibilities, Soi Fon ensured that she would never grow too close to her fukutaicho, and never develop any attachment or relationship which could even begin to rival the one she had lost.
Fandom: Bleach
Pairing: One sided Soi Fon/Yoruichi, hinted Urahara/Yoruichi
Genre: Romance, angst
Rating: T
Warnings: Weird relationships, potential cursing and implications of sex
Summary: Soi Fon reflects upon her attachment to a certain woman, despite her knowledge that the woman will never really be hers.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7721248/1/Fukutaicho
Note: And yes, I know that Soi Fon was not Yoruichi's fukutaicho. The connection is how I believe Soi Fon feels about her own fukutaicho and how she viewed her relationship with Yoruichi as closer than that of a captain and lieutenant.
As far as Soi Fon was concerned, Omaeda was her fukutaicho in name only.
The bond between a captain and their lieutenant was supposed to be uniquely strong. Although rank was definitely present, they were supposed to be partners in most things-fighting, strategy, management-even the more mundane tasks involved in running a division. Almost every taicho-fukutaicho pair had a very close relationship in some way or another. While being lovers was the exception rather than the rule, most pairs held some form of love and affection for each other, whether it be familiar or reverential.
It made Soi Fon sick.
Just as Aizen claimed that he never considered anyone but Gin his lieutenant, Soi Fon never acknowledged anyone but Yoruichi as her partner, in any way. She and Yoruichi had never shared a taicho-fukutaicho relationship, but in Soi Fon's opinion, theirs had been much stronger, as master and servant, teacher and student, deity and worshipper. Yoruichi was not just her captain or her boss; she was Soi Fon's life. It sounded dramatic, but the extreme devotion came naturally to her. The Fon clan served the Shinoins, and Soi Fon's fascination with the Shinoin heir lent itself easily to that cause, and she was delighted to be accepted as Yoruichi's protégé, her confidante, her bodyguard, and she hoped, her friend. Although Omaeda was Yoruichi's fukutaicho and Urahara her closest friend, Soi Fon considered herself Yoruichi's only true partner.
Her utter devotion lent itself to complex emotional jungles. Soi Fon resented everyone who dared work for Yoruichi, especially her fukutaicho and 4rd seat. They were incompetent, and simply unworthy of Yoruichi's trust. Unfortunately, Yoruichi did not seem to view the situation in the same light, which only made Soi Fon worship her more.
Yoruichi was the embodiment of everything Soi Fon held dear-strength, speed, grace, beauty, kindness, self-reliance-and as such, she could find no nobler calling than to devote her life to this strange and marvelous creature. It was only natural that she would fall in love with the woman, inevitable, even. Funnily enough, it was never a matter of sexual attraction. Soi Fon certainly noticed Yoruichi's beauty, but approached it with more reverence than pure attraction. She had no biological desire to engage in sexual acts with the woman, but she longed to do so, if only to gain some sort of possession over such an ethereal being. When she dreamed of waking up next to the Shinoin princess, she dreamed or trust and loyalty, and never having to fear abandonment. It was not about physical desire, but a deeper kind of longing which transcended sexuality.
This was part of the reason she detested Kisuke Urahara. Soi Fon could see that he also loved her Yoruichi, but in a different way. Kisuke may have seen everything in Yoruichi that Soi Fon did, all the fierce determination and surety of movement which never failed to capture anyone's gaze, but he was a man. He was attracted to his captain, physically and viscerally as well as mentally, and for that he was not ashamed. While Soi Fon admired Yoruichi's grace in fighting, Urahara simultaneously noticed the heaving motion of her ample curve and the sinuous lines of her lithe body. Urahara was capable of loving Yoruichi in a way that Soi Fon could not, and for that, she hated him.
And yet, they shared a kind of unspoken companionship. Even when she roared in anger at seeing Urahara emerge clearly rumpled after spending a night in the captain's barracks, she understood him. As he passed her on her perch outside of Yoruichi's door, far enough away to afford privacy but close enough to be present if danger arose, he met her smoldering glare with an apologetic half smile. They both knew what it was like to be hopelessly enchanted by the indomitable spirit that was Yoruichi Shinoin, and to be in a constant orbit around her. But Kisuke was allowed to look, to touch, while Soi Fon was relegated to a distant vigil at a shrine which the deity herself was unaware of.
When Yoruichi left, taking Kisuke and Tessai with her, Soi Fon could find no handy words to describe her state of turmoil. She knew that in the competition for Yoruichi's heart, Kisuke would always remain victorious, but she had believed that her captain had cared for her, as a sister at least, or even as a loyal servant. Yoruichi's willingness to abandon all the trappings of her rank, all the titles she had created and filled with such vitality, Soi Fon's world began to crumble at the edges. Rationalization only went so far, and such a willful spirit as Yoruichi was hard to contain behind a goddess like façade. In the end, she grieved, because the center of her world had been ripped from beneath her, shaking the foundations of her entire life. All her beliefs, all her actions, had been specifically geared towards the safety and approval of Yoruichi, and Yoruichi was gone, leaving Soi Fon without a word of appreciation or even acknowledgement. That was what hurt the most-the knowledge that Yoruichi did not, and probably never had, needed Soi Fon the way that Soi Fon had needed her.
The sudden departure left her bare, and she realized how pathetic she was to base her entire being around this one woman, no matter how extraordinary. And despite her realization, Soi Fon made the conscious decision that, having thrown her life at Yoruichi's feet, there was no point in detaching herself from the vision of the woman now. So she centered her life again, this time around a presence and a memory rather than a woman. She simultaneously worshipped Yoruichi's legacy even as she tried to undermine it by filling the positions Yoruichi had left and trying to prove that she could do better. All these efforts were aimed as much at convincing herself as they were at proving to everyone else that she could survive, and surpass the woman she had so long put on a pedestal.
As Yoruichi's unfortunate successor, she was expected to fulfill certain duties. Among them, publically distancing herself from the disgraced noblewoman and choosing a fukutaicho. Both were impossible to do, and Soi Fon chose to simply go through the motions so as to appease the Gotei 13. Her condemnations of the former taicho were obviously contrived, but no one dared to call her on it. When it came time to choose a fukutaicho, she was reluctant. A captain and lieutenant were supposed to share a bond as partners which she knew she was incapable of providing, because the only person to whom she would award such trust and loyalty was gone. But under immense pressure from the officials in Sereitei, she acquiesced, and chose the most deplorable, grotesque, disgusting excuse for a shinigami she could find. Although she could not stand the sight of the second generation Omaeda, she considered it penance for her foolishness at daring to hope for such a relationship with Yoruichi. And since the very existence of her fukutaicho offended all of her carefully placed sensibilities, Soi Fon ensured that she would never grow too close to her fukutaicho, and never develop any attachment or relationship which could even begin to rival the one she had lost.