Questioning everything

[pinksmycolor]

I'm really beginning to hate my life, and I have no clue why. I feel like I'm obviously doing something hideously wrong because no one seems to like me or care about me anymore, but for some reason I have this huge blind spot that won't let me see why it is that everyone hates me so much. My goodness! Everyone's completely ignoring me, including the people I thought were my friends. I really realized how detested I am when no one even noticed the huge hickey on my neck today! I went all day long with this mark on my neck from being a complete idiot Friday night, and no one said a word. By the end of the day I wasn't really hiding it anymore, and no one noticed me. It's like I've become a part of the wallpaper. Someone, please notice me! Make me feel like I have some importance in this world - just come up to me and say hi. At this point, I am desperate even for that.

This song basically describes the entirety of how I'm feeling:
"Cosmopolitan" - Nine Black Alps

You're not pretty enough
You're not skinny enough
You're not healthy enough
You're not shaking at our touch

You're not lonely enough
You're not holy enough
You're not saying too much
About what you think we want

So shock me
So shock me
So shock me

Well you spend the night
I'll take my life
We'll close our eyes
We'll be dead by sunrise

You're not dreaming too much
You're not sleeping enough
You're not burning enough
Of your body to be loved

So shock me
So shock me
So won't you shock me

Well you spend the night
I'll take my life
We'll close our eyes
We'll be dead by sunrise

You spend the night
I'll take my life
We'll close our eyes
We're so uptight

You spend the night
I'll take my life
We'll kill our time
We'll be dead by sunrise