the end has no end
oh, aching heart of mine. i wish i never felt a thing and i dont understand where the hell this has all come from in the first place. someone who was just a fictional character to me until that random meeting when i felt a fire light inside me and with every second that passes its a growing flame and i feel as though something has changed in the last day or two and im not sure in what sense and why or how or even in what direction and am i filled right now with false hope or am i refusing to see what is really going on because its unbelievable to me or maybe i refuse to see because it would crush me. stupid boy, walks on up to me and calls out my name in a parking lot but everything in the background fades away while i realize that those feelings i thought id built up an immunity to are really still there but it was him who brought them out. and im just so goddamn fascinated by him and his voice wraps around my soul and my eyes wont stop focusing but i cant help but look away when he looks back because i dont want to leave the wrong impression if he doesnt feel the same. and i mean, why should he. oh god this is torture and suddenly i feel miniscule.