If you were to open up a baby's head
Category: Pink Sheep RPG
Justin tried to refrain from whistling, there was no need to off balance Natalie even more than he already had, as he walked over to his partner's office. A quick mid-morning trip home had Kandy informed of tonight's plans as well as a chance to see his daughter. Luckily for him, his house elf was much more knowledgeable about international cuisine than he had given her credit for. While Natalie would have her sushi, Justin would be dining on teriyaki chicken.
He knocked on the fellow Auror's door and poked his head inside. "Ready?"
"I'm still waiting on one of the Weasley twins to poke their heads in and say that you've been their test dummy for some new joke or something," she commented dryly, lips twitching.
"Sorry, I'm twin-less. And I don't even have an evil twin to blame this all on." He offered her his arm, not sure if she would take it or not.
Natalie eyed his arm for a moment and bit her tongue. Asking him what the bloody hell had happened to him wasn't going to make this any easier, as it would likely only piss him off.
"I don't think it's possible for someone with your genetics and background to have an evil twin," she commented, still eying the proffered arm.
"That's what the opinion was in Dumas' Man in the Iron Mask and look where it got him." Justin raised an eyebrow. "And one must consider the amount of inbreeding in past generations," or within current purebloods, "that anything is indeed possible." Sensing that Natalie would not take his arm, Justin lowered it and nodded to the hallway. "Ready?"
"So you're admitting you're barking? Good on you, Finchy. The first step is admitting you have a problem," she said with a snicker as she passed him and went out into the hallway.
"Past generations," Justin stressed. He was far from mad. His great uncle on the other hand, well, that matter was up for debate. "You have the coordinates, yes? I'll have to go first and lower the wards, unless you would prefer to side-along."
"I have the coordinates, yes," she said as she set the wards humming about her office door. "I can follow."
"Then I'll see you in a few moments." Justin took off, striding towards the Apparition point. By the time he could feel the wards hum over his skin, announcing Natalie's imminant arrival, he already had Bridget in his arm, grinning as she babbled at him.
"Is that right?" He responded to the nonsense sounds as he slipped off his shoes. "And what else did you and Kandy do today?"
"Played strip poker and drank too much vodka...oh wait, you were asking the kid, weren't you?"
"Mmm. Yes." He turned to Natalie. "I'm not starting Bridget on vodka, that's much too plebeian. Sherry. As soon as she learns to walk. Speak of drinks, would you like anything?"
She arched a brow at the plebeian comment, but let it slide. "Whadya got?"
Beyond whiskey and the occasional glass of wine, Justin rarely drank, but knew his cabinet would be full of various liquors and spirits. "Kandy!" he called.
The little elf popped in. "Yes, Master Finchy?"
"What do we have in terms of alcohol?"
"Several wines: red, white, blush, sparkling and non. The whiskey Master prefers. Gin, vermouth, vodka, tequila, and rum: spiced and white." the elf dutifully listed off. "Oh, and I's bought sake to goes with Japanese food for tonights."
Justin nodded. "Thank you Kandy." He turned towards Natalie. "Anything strike your fancy?"
"Sake," Natalie said with a grin. Maybe she should retain an elf... nah, she ordered too much take-away. It'd be wasteful to have an elf and never use it.
"Scotch and soda, please. During dinner." Justin already had his hands full with a gurgling six-month-old.
Bowing, the elf disappeared with a sharp Pop causing Bridget to start for a moment, looking around for the noise before settling back down against her father.
Natalie eyed the baby warily. She wasn't sure what to do around kids; they made weird noises and smelled funny, although this one looked relatively cute. "Bridget, right?"
"Mmhmm." Justin passed a hand over the light blonde hair. "Bridget the bumblebee." He had dressed her as such for Halloween and the name had sort of stuck.
Upon hearing her name the six month old looked up and grinned at the two adults.
"She's...cute?" Which she was, for a helpless little person.
Justin did his best not to snicker at the look in Natalie's eye. "I promise she doesn't bite... hard. Mostly it just gumming." He was prevented from saying more with Kandy popping back in.
"Mister Elijah is in the fire, Master Finchy," the elf reported. "Uncle be wanting you."
Of course his Uncle wanted him. Sighing, he juggled the infant in his arms and glanced over at Natalie. "Could you hold her for a few minutes while I go and see what my Great-Uncle needs?"
The blonde's brows shot up- way up- at the idea of holding the small child. "Are- are you sure?" she asked warily, eying the wiggling baby as if it were a Dungbomb.
"It's only for a few moments while I attend to my Uncle." Justin passed Bridget over to the other Auror. "Kandy is busy preparing dinner, but will easily answer any questions you may have."
Natalie swallowed and held the child in her hands as if she were holding an egg. "Oh-kay," she said slowly.
"Here." He moved forward to rearrange her hands. "Like I said, she won't bite. Drool a little, but don't worry. Besides," he smiled, "it'll only be a few minutes."
"It's your uncle. I've heard Ducky pontificate before," she muttered, gaze flickering up to his before dropping back to the blonde wiggle worm in her hands.
"Not if I drug him," Justin deadpanned, gesturing over to the area just beyond the couch. "There is a play area over there, if you'd like. Bridget can have some tummy time."
"Tummy time?" Natalie parroted as he walked away, mouth wide open. Her partner sounded like... she wasn't entirely sure, but his sister getting herself knocked up and then shoving responsibility over onto Finchy had changed him.
"Stupid whor-" she glanced down at the little girl, just catching herself from saying a word Finchy probably wouldn't want her to add to her vocabulary. "Sorry, kid."
"Put Bridget on her stomach and watch her wiggle around awhile to play with toys," Justin explained. "Make sure she doesn't accidentally suffocate herself. You could also sit down and read, if you so chose." It was an option, but it wasn't one that he thought Natalie would take. Somehow he didn't see her as the sort to read and play Pat the Bunny.
Great. It would be here luck that the kid would do something stupid, like suffocate herself, on Natalie's watch. "Go deal with Ducky," she said, nodding towards the door. The sooner he dealt with his batshit crazy uncle, the sooner he came back to take the kid.
Justin nodded. "The only question to ask is should I take a pain potion now to prevent a headache or after to stave one off?" Leaving Natalie to ponder the question, he Apparated away, intending to deal with the matter as quickly as possible.
Merlin help her. "So, kid," she said, holding the baby up to face level so she could look in her tiny, fat face. "What do you want to do?"
Giggling, Bridget reached out and grabbed a handful of Natalie's blonde hair.
Natalie eyed the chubby hand, lips twitching. "We're not going to pull on the hair. Unless it's Finchy's hair, then you can pull away."
Bridget just tugged her handful.
"Alright, yeah, kid, not happening," she said, gingerly extracting the clump of hair from the baby's grasp. "I'm partial to the hair, and I'd rather not have it ripped out of my skull."
Frowning when her new toy was taken away, the infant glared at Natalie, looking not unlike her father.
The woman snickered. "Keep that up, kid, and you're going to start telling me that you can't enable my bad habits."
Bridget looked at the woman blankly, reaching out for Natalie's hand with the ring on it. Attracted by the shiny, she began to examine the piece of jewelry between her chubby hands.
Of course, the magpie would go for the one piece of jewelery Natalie wore; her ring, a gift from her Japanese family in Tokyo. While it was a bit delicate and tended to look out of place for people who didn't know her, the homage to Tokyo's cherry blossoms suited her.
"You like the shiny?" she asked the little girl, sliding the ring off. She cast a silent charm of protection over the bauble, then handed it to Bridget. Last thing she needed was for the kid to either swallow or drool on her ring.
Almost immediately, the infant tried to put the ring in her mouth, her small brow frowning when it would not go in. Again, Bridget tried and again the right would not go. Letting out a small whine, she began to wave her hands.
"That's right," Natalie said with a triumphant smirk. "Not going to eat my ring today, are you?"
Glaring at the Auror, Bridget sent the woman's ring flying behind her.
Natalie glared right back at the baby, immediately Summoning the ring back to her. "We don't throw my stuff, kid," she said as she wiped the drool off of the silver filigree and pink pearls. "Got it?"
Bridget's glare turned into a grin as she reached for the ring again. It had now turned into a game.
"Nuh-uh." She pulled the ring away, out of reach of the babbling baby. "That's mine, not yours. Do you want something soft, harmless, and completely boring so I don't get in trouble with Finchy for letting you play with sharp objects?"
Predictably, the only response the woman received was baby babble as the six month old began to look around for the bright and shiny of the ring that had attracted her attention in the first place.
"What about something like this?" Natalie summoned a plush toy from the floor, dangling it in front of Bridget's face. "Do you want this?"
Distracted by the bright colors and the little jangling bell sound, the sixth month old reached for the toy. As soon as the plush had been released into her grasp, it immediately went into her mouth where Bridget happily gumming. Her babbling became even more incoherent.
Justin Apparated back to his flat, wondering if he should speak to his Uncle's Healer about upping the dosage on the blood-pressure medication. He hadn't been quite joking when he said he was willing to drug the elder wizard.
"Everything alright?" he asked, spotting the pair. "No major, Earth-shattering moments I should be made aware of?"
"You've already taught her how to give me a disapproving glare? I'm impressed, Finchy." Natalie's smirk twisted into a grimace when Bridget, who'd tossed the plush toy to the side, reached up and grabbed another fistful of hair. "Ow! Didn't we already discuss the hair pulling, kid?"
"It's a Finch-Fletchley family trait," Justin said off-handedly as he deftly separated Bridget's fist from the handful of hair. Hair pulling, at least, was one thing he never had to worry about. "And what she do disapproving of? Did you stop an attempt to take over the world?
"Yeah, well, if you could cut it out, that'd be much appreciated." Natalie plucked the wiggling baby off her lap and held her out to her partner. "She's unscathed."
"Just as expected." The male Auror grinned down at his daughter as he bounced her slightly on his hip. "How about you? Unscathed? Not covered in infant saliva?"
"No, but my ring is," Natalie replied, pulling out her wand to mutter a thorough polishing spell on the pink pearls. "I think she thought we were playing 'You eat it, you keep it.'"
He gave her a sheepish grin. "Sorry about that. I should have warned you about automatic insertion into mouth. And it is a favorite game of hers."
Kandy popped into view. "Dinner is ready, Master Finchy. And Little Miss be wanting her bottle soon." The elf held out her hands for the child.
Normally, Justin would have fed Bridget before he ate his own dinner, but he had a guest and that might have been considered rude. Obligingly, he handed his daughter over and gestured over towards the dining area. "If you'd like to follow me?"
Natalie followed him to the table and was only slightly surprised when he held the chair out for her.
"Thank you," she said, almost as an afterthought when he pushed the chair beneath the table. None of her brothers- or the men she generally hung around with- would ever do something like that. The idea of someone like Smith exhibiting manners was almost laughable.
"You're welcome." Justin lifted the scotch and soda that was waiting by his plate and took a sip. "So, in honor of tonight's cuisine of choice, what was your time like in Japan?"
Summary: Natalie gets to know Bridget while Justin's called away. There is much drooling, hair pulling, and ring chewing involved (Natalie's less than pleased).
Justin tried to refrain from whistling, there was no need to off balance Natalie even more than he already had, as he walked over to his partner's office. A quick mid-morning trip home had Kandy informed of tonight's plans as well as a chance to see his daughter. Luckily for him, his house elf was much more knowledgeable about international cuisine than he had given her credit for. While Natalie would have her sushi, Justin would be dining on teriyaki chicken.
He knocked on the fellow Auror's door and poked his head inside. "Ready?"
"I'm still waiting on one of the Weasley twins to poke their heads in and say that you've been their test dummy for some new joke or something," she commented dryly, lips twitching.
"Sorry, I'm twin-less. And I don't even have an evil twin to blame this all on." He offered her his arm, not sure if she would take it or not.
Natalie eyed his arm for a moment and bit her tongue. Asking him what the bloody hell had happened to him wasn't going to make this any easier, as it would likely only piss him off.
"I don't think it's possible for someone with your genetics and background to have an evil twin," she commented, still eying the proffered arm.
"That's what the opinion was in Dumas' Man in the Iron Mask and look where it got him." Justin raised an eyebrow. "And one must consider the amount of inbreeding in past generations," or within current purebloods, "that anything is indeed possible." Sensing that Natalie would not take his arm, Justin lowered it and nodded to the hallway. "Ready?"
"So you're admitting you're barking? Good on you, Finchy. The first step is admitting you have a problem," she said with a snicker as she passed him and went out into the hallway.
"Past generations," Justin stressed. He was far from mad. His great uncle on the other hand, well, that matter was up for debate. "You have the coordinates, yes? I'll have to go first and lower the wards, unless you would prefer to side-along."
"I have the coordinates, yes," she said as she set the wards humming about her office door. "I can follow."
"Then I'll see you in a few moments." Justin took off, striding towards the Apparition point. By the time he could feel the wards hum over his skin, announcing Natalie's imminant arrival, he already had Bridget in his arm, grinning as she babbled at him.
"Is that right?" He responded to the nonsense sounds as he slipped off his shoes. "And what else did you and Kandy do today?"
"Played strip poker and drank too much vodka...oh wait, you were asking the kid, weren't you?"
"Mmm. Yes." He turned to Natalie. "I'm not starting Bridget on vodka, that's much too plebeian. Sherry. As soon as she learns to walk. Speak of drinks, would you like anything?"
She arched a brow at the plebeian comment, but let it slide. "Whadya got?"
Beyond whiskey and the occasional glass of wine, Justin rarely drank, but knew his cabinet would be full of various liquors and spirits. "Kandy!" he called.
The little elf popped in. "Yes, Master Finchy?"
"What do we have in terms of alcohol?"
"Several wines: red, white, blush, sparkling and non. The whiskey Master prefers. Gin, vermouth, vodka, tequila, and rum: spiced and white." the elf dutifully listed off. "Oh, and I's bought sake to goes with Japanese food for tonights."
Justin nodded. "Thank you Kandy." He turned towards Natalie. "Anything strike your fancy?"
"Sake," Natalie said with a grin. Maybe she should retain an elf... nah, she ordered too much take-away. It'd be wasteful to have an elf and never use it.
"Scotch and soda, please. During dinner." Justin already had his hands full with a gurgling six-month-old.
Bowing, the elf disappeared with a sharp Pop causing Bridget to start for a moment, looking around for the noise before settling back down against her father.
Natalie eyed the baby warily. She wasn't sure what to do around kids; they made weird noises and smelled funny, although this one looked relatively cute. "Bridget, right?"
"Mmhmm." Justin passed a hand over the light blonde hair. "Bridget the bumblebee." He had dressed her as such for Halloween and the name had sort of stuck.
Upon hearing her name the six month old looked up and grinned at the two adults.
"She's...cute?" Which she was, for a helpless little person.
Justin did his best not to snicker at the look in Natalie's eye. "I promise she doesn't bite... hard. Mostly it just gumming." He was prevented from saying more with Kandy popping back in.
"Mister Elijah is in the fire, Master Finchy," the elf reported. "Uncle be wanting you."
Of course his Uncle wanted him. Sighing, he juggled the infant in his arms and glanced over at Natalie. "Could you hold her for a few minutes while I go and see what my Great-Uncle needs?"
The blonde's brows shot up- way up- at the idea of holding the small child. "Are- are you sure?" she asked warily, eying the wiggling baby as if it were a Dungbomb.
"It's only for a few moments while I attend to my Uncle." Justin passed Bridget over to the other Auror. "Kandy is busy preparing dinner, but will easily answer any questions you may have."
Natalie swallowed and held the child in her hands as if she were holding an egg. "Oh-kay," she said slowly.
"Here." He moved forward to rearrange her hands. "Like I said, she won't bite. Drool a little, but don't worry. Besides," he smiled, "it'll only be a few minutes."
"It's your uncle. I've heard Ducky pontificate before," she muttered, gaze flickering up to his before dropping back to the blonde wiggle worm in her hands.
"Not if I drug him," Justin deadpanned, gesturing over to the area just beyond the couch. "There is a play area over there, if you'd like. Bridget can have some tummy time."
"Tummy time?" Natalie parroted as he walked away, mouth wide open. Her partner sounded like... she wasn't entirely sure, but his sister getting herself knocked up and then shoving responsibility over onto Finchy had changed him.
"Stupid whor-" she glanced down at the little girl, just catching herself from saying a word Finchy probably wouldn't want her to add to her vocabulary. "Sorry, kid."
"Put Bridget on her stomach and watch her wiggle around awhile to play with toys," Justin explained. "Make sure she doesn't accidentally suffocate herself. You could also sit down and read, if you so chose." It was an option, but it wasn't one that he thought Natalie would take. Somehow he didn't see her as the sort to read and play Pat the Bunny.
Great. It would be here luck that the kid would do something stupid, like suffocate herself, on Natalie's watch. "Go deal with Ducky," she said, nodding towards the door. The sooner he dealt with his batshit crazy uncle, the sooner he came back to take the kid.
Justin nodded. "The only question to ask is should I take a pain potion now to prevent a headache or after to stave one off?" Leaving Natalie to ponder the question, he Apparated away, intending to deal with the matter as quickly as possible.
Merlin help her. "So, kid," she said, holding the baby up to face level so she could look in her tiny, fat face. "What do you want to do?"
Giggling, Bridget reached out and grabbed a handful of Natalie's blonde hair.
Natalie eyed the chubby hand, lips twitching. "We're not going to pull on the hair. Unless it's Finchy's hair, then you can pull away."
Bridget just tugged her handful.
"Alright, yeah, kid, not happening," she said, gingerly extracting the clump of hair from the baby's grasp. "I'm partial to the hair, and I'd rather not have it ripped out of my skull."
Frowning when her new toy was taken away, the infant glared at Natalie, looking not unlike her father.
The woman snickered. "Keep that up, kid, and you're going to start telling me that you can't enable my bad habits."
Bridget looked at the woman blankly, reaching out for Natalie's hand with the ring on it. Attracted by the shiny, she began to examine the piece of jewelry between her chubby hands.
Of course, the magpie would go for the one piece of jewelery Natalie wore; her ring, a gift from her Japanese family in Tokyo. While it was a bit delicate and tended to look out of place for people who didn't know her, the homage to Tokyo's cherry blossoms suited her.
"You like the shiny?" she asked the little girl, sliding the ring off. She cast a silent charm of protection over the bauble, then handed it to Bridget. Last thing she needed was for the kid to either swallow or drool on her ring.
Almost immediately, the infant tried to put the ring in her mouth, her small brow frowning when it would not go in. Again, Bridget tried and again the right would not go. Letting out a small whine, she began to wave her hands.
"That's right," Natalie said with a triumphant smirk. "Not going to eat my ring today, are you?"
Glaring at the Auror, Bridget sent the woman's ring flying behind her.
Natalie glared right back at the baby, immediately Summoning the ring back to her. "We don't throw my stuff, kid," she said as she wiped the drool off of the silver filigree and pink pearls. "Got it?"
Bridget's glare turned into a grin as she reached for the ring again. It had now turned into a game.
"Nuh-uh." She pulled the ring away, out of reach of the babbling baby. "That's mine, not yours. Do you want something soft, harmless, and completely boring so I don't get in trouble with Finchy for letting you play with sharp objects?"
Predictably, the only response the woman received was baby babble as the six month old began to look around for the bright and shiny of the ring that had attracted her attention in the first place.
"What about something like this?" Natalie summoned a plush toy from the floor, dangling it in front of Bridget's face. "Do you want this?"
Distracted by the bright colors and the little jangling bell sound, the sixth month old reached for the toy. As soon as the plush had been released into her grasp, it immediately went into her mouth where Bridget happily gumming. Her babbling became even more incoherent.
Justin Apparated back to his flat, wondering if he should speak to his Uncle's Healer about upping the dosage on the blood-pressure medication. He hadn't been quite joking when he said he was willing to drug the elder wizard.
"Everything alright?" he asked, spotting the pair. "No major, Earth-shattering moments I should be made aware of?"
"You've already taught her how to give me a disapproving glare? I'm impressed, Finchy." Natalie's smirk twisted into a grimace when Bridget, who'd tossed the plush toy to the side, reached up and grabbed another fistful of hair. "Ow! Didn't we already discuss the hair pulling, kid?"
"It's a Finch-Fletchley family trait," Justin said off-handedly as he deftly separated Bridget's fist from the handful of hair. Hair pulling, at least, was one thing he never had to worry about. "And what she do disapproving of? Did you stop an attempt to take over the world?
"Yeah, well, if you could cut it out, that'd be much appreciated." Natalie plucked the wiggling baby off her lap and held her out to her partner. "She's unscathed."
"Just as expected." The male Auror grinned down at his daughter as he bounced her slightly on his hip. "How about you? Unscathed? Not covered in infant saliva?"
"No, but my ring is," Natalie replied, pulling out her wand to mutter a thorough polishing spell on the pink pearls. "I think she thought we were playing 'You eat it, you keep it.'"
He gave her a sheepish grin. "Sorry about that. I should have warned you about automatic insertion into mouth. And it is a favorite game of hers."
Kandy popped into view. "Dinner is ready, Master Finchy. And Little Miss be wanting her bottle soon." The elf held out her hands for the child.
Normally, Justin would have fed Bridget before he ate his own dinner, but he had a guest and that might have been considered rude. Obligingly, he handed his daughter over and gestured over towards the dining area. "If you'd like to follow me?"
Natalie followed him to the table and was only slightly surprised when he held the chair out for her.
"Thank you," she said, almost as an afterthought when he pushed the chair beneath the table. None of her brothers- or the men she generally hung around with- would ever do something like that. The idea of someone like Smith exhibiting manners was almost laughable.
"You're welcome." Justin lifted the scotch and soda that was waiting by his plate and took a sip. "So, in honor of tonight's cuisine of choice, what was your time like in Japan?"
Summary: Natalie gets to know Bridget while Justin's called away. There is much drooling, hair pulling, and ring chewing involved (Natalie's less than pleased).