why does everything keep making me depressed?!

[pinkpunkstyle]

every other thing keeps making me depressed and i know its wierd to say on here but nothing i say seems to stay between me and my friends at the moment, its never private what ever i say, sometimes i need a bitch some times i need to tell them who i like. me suddenly not being there obviously means that my business is their gossip.Jade, i have a problem with, yes correct-just being at the party brought back depressing memories and thoughts as it was the first major big group thing i'd been to in a while-but do people really have to be told that?!does Jade have to know that.Ben, i also have a problem with-i'm working on that, the fact that he talks about me in a bad way behind my back is trailing out of all my thoughts since he's just tosser and i can't get on with everyone.Then there's the new love interest of mine that seemed to have somehow found out that i like him mysteriously-had anyone taken into account the fact that i may not want him to know how much i like him?!i tell people stuff automatically thinking they will keep their mouths shut-but no everyone finds out and im gossip, even the guy i fancy knows i cant fuckin understand why(understandably they were pissed and probably fucked out of their heads)it had to be said.
maybe its me and i read too much into things,do i?! maybe im fucking fucked with absolutely no fuck at all! maybe im just feeling shit and i dont technically know why.i'm sitting here crying and i have some vague idea why but it might not be that.maybe im lonely?!