(no subject)
Well, he did it. He cant be in a relationship, so he ripped my heart out.
Which I mean, I wont be happy in the relationship if I know hws not happy, but its still hearts like hell. I mean Ive never had feelings like this for anyone, and ofcoures like everything else good in my life it gets taken away from me.
I feel like there is something wronge with me, like I just repel people, they meet me they like me, but then they get to know me ahd just have to get away.
I dont know what to say. I know howq he is, I mean if seeing Jill in the hospital made them get back together, I dont what him to try and get back with me cause he hears all this, I mean want him back, but when he is ready, but at the sametime Im not going to hide my feeling, thats not how I am. I am not going to lef myself rot in silecne to protect someone else, so he will hear this and see it, but I will give him twenty questions if he trys anything, I will not let him get back in to it if I know he is going to be unhappy.
I have also basicaly been cut off from the outside world. Yeah, he was how I went really anywere, and now I have sit out three and a half months, in my house alone, going even more crazy.
Ive known this might happen, I sensed it, but didnt want to belive it, but I didnt think it would hurt this much, I mean this is horrible, really I dont think Ive ever felt like this. I dont think I ever thaought we would break up, I mean I would say stuff like " I dont know how long this is going to last", and "if were still together", but always felt deep down inside that we would just be together, and thats the way it was going to be.
I back to having that emty feeling, like when we took the "break", it came back, I think about Wensday, but I tryed to ignore it, thinking I was just upset and lonly cause I didnt get to hang out with Rob, and felt so unimpotent.
Well, I dont know what else to say, no one wants to listen to this shit anyhow.
Which I mean, I wont be happy in the relationship if I know hws not happy, but its still hearts like hell. I mean Ive never had feelings like this for anyone, and ofcoures like everything else good in my life it gets taken away from me.
I feel like there is something wronge with me, like I just repel people, they meet me they like me, but then they get to know me ahd just have to get away.
I dont know what to say. I know howq he is, I mean if seeing Jill in the hospital made them get back together, I dont what him to try and get back with me cause he hears all this, I mean want him back, but when he is ready, but at the sametime Im not going to hide my feeling, thats not how I am. I am not going to lef myself rot in silecne to protect someone else, so he will hear this and see it, but I will give him twenty questions if he trys anything, I will not let him get back in to it if I know he is going to be unhappy.
I have also basicaly been cut off from the outside world. Yeah, he was how I went really anywere, and now I have sit out three and a half months, in my house alone, going even more crazy.
Ive known this might happen, I sensed it, but didnt want to belive it, but I didnt think it would hurt this much, I mean this is horrible, really I dont think Ive ever felt like this. I dont think I ever thaought we would break up, I mean I would say stuff like " I dont know how long this is going to last", and "if were still together", but always felt deep down inside that we would just be together, and thats the way it was going to be.
I back to having that emty feeling, like when we took the "break", it came back, I think about Wensday, but I tryed to ignore it, thinking I was just upset and lonly cause I didnt get to hang out with Rob, and felt so unimpotent.
Well, I dont know what else to say, no one wants to listen to this shit anyhow.