home
three girls came into the shop today, arm in arm, laughin and havin a good ole time. i felt myself go bitter with jealousy..."that should be me lu and becky." what the heck. i miss hangin out with my girls. and my family. i miss sunday lunches and naps at grandmas. i miss home in general. i think this might be a defense mechanism, but i wont get into that. im with rhi...people know how to do things better back home. i have a spot there. i know what my role is. i have one here, i just carry it out solo. which is fine. i actually think i like it better that way. if you can do things by yourself then youre fine. its when youre needy and always have to have someone there that it gets gross. in a mortal way, of course. i think these people need to take a week vacation to the beach. alone. alone is good in the 40404. most of the time anyways. heaven knows itll make permanent departure a piece of cake.