bondy choir shirt
so I am sitting in my bondy choir shirt and it has made me a bit nostalgic...and then I become pensive... eh, thoughts are running through my head and i feel very stressed about everything...
money sucks...wish I had some...
I stayed home this weekend and it was cool...I didn't do much, yesterday I watched Mean Girls, Pretty in Pink, and Sixteen Candles ...right now Two Weeks Notice is on...my dad made me go to Blockbuster and rent I, Robot so I might watch that a little later...
eww, I have a couple of mosquito bites and that sucks because I am allergic (I know...I am so living in the wrong state)...
I am listening to Hilary Duff's "Come Clean" and I wish I could go back to the beginning...but who doesn't...if you don't then you are one lucky bastard to be so happy with your life and yourself...to be so at peace with all the decisions you've made...to be able to accept the consquences of your actions... wish I could be that lucky...
today was a really long day...and it sucked...
the best part of today was when my friend sent me an email with some gossip in it...and that sucks because I am really trying to be the type of person not to talk about others...or myself...i am learning to keep some things private because there are things that other people are not entitled to know...I mean some stuff is just too personal to let everyone know about...and that's that I am a very open person... I can't lie (really I am super bad...I start stuttering...) so I usually tell the truth and sometimes I say what I am thinking without intending to say it outloud...oops...
anyway...i am starting to feel old...i mean i look at the shirt i am wearing and it is so old and faded... then i remember that i got it in 8th grade and that was 5 years ago...then i realize that come my birthday i will no longer be a teenager...i will be 20 and that seems so old...like i feel come 20 and i should be more mature...i feel like this is my last summer to be carefree and just have fun...and so far it has sucked...ugh...and the worst thing is i haven't even really kept in touch with my friends and the one person that i really did want to hang out with decided to spend the summer in dallas (u suck kels). i mean i have been to one party and it sucked because there was some drama between a friend of mine (who always has to have a lot of drama in her life) and some other girl at the party over a stupid misunderstanding...i am so tired of that bullshit...it feels like i never left high school and i realize it is because of the people in my life...and i just don't need this drama in my life...and most of all i do NOT want...and it isn't even my drama so i feel like such a bitch for even thinking this but maybe i should just cut all the drama out of my life...i mean if that means being without friends for awhile then that is ok...my stress level is so high...i've never had a problem being on my own...and in high school i never had any of my own drama just my friends' drama...so i am going to avoid all the drama i can even if that means not hanging out with some people as much...
yesterday my mom asked me if i knew what i was doing in the fall...i said i didn't know...but now it seems like san jac for me...and maybe that is best...i need some boundaries...apparently i am a little too wild for my own good...i honestly don't think i am wild...i just do what i want to do...i just have fun...a lot...
maybe i am not as innocent as i was last summer and while i miss that...i can't go back so i just have to accept it all...
Goals for the summer:
get job
figure out what i am doing
pay off debt
let go off hang ups (that includes people)
become comfortable in my own skin
just have fun
i guess that said i am going to go on myspace and reply to some emails that i have been putting off...
money sucks...wish I had some...
I stayed home this weekend and it was cool...I didn't do much, yesterday I watched Mean Girls, Pretty in Pink, and Sixteen Candles ...right now Two Weeks Notice is on...my dad made me go to Blockbuster and rent I, Robot so I might watch that a little later...
eww, I have a couple of mosquito bites and that sucks because I am allergic (I know...I am so living in the wrong state)...
I am listening to Hilary Duff's "Come Clean" and I wish I could go back to the beginning...but who doesn't...if you don't then you are one lucky bastard to be so happy with your life and yourself...to be so at peace with all the decisions you've made...to be able to accept the consquences of your actions... wish I could be that lucky...
today was a really long day...and it sucked...
the best part of today was when my friend sent me an email with some gossip in it...and that sucks because I am really trying to be the type of person not to talk about others...or myself...i am learning to keep some things private because there are things that other people are not entitled to know...I mean some stuff is just too personal to let everyone know about...and that's that I am a very open person... I can't lie (really I am super bad...I start stuttering...) so I usually tell the truth and sometimes I say what I am thinking without intending to say it outloud...oops...
anyway...i am starting to feel old...i mean i look at the shirt i am wearing and it is so old and faded... then i remember that i got it in 8th grade and that was 5 years ago...then i realize that come my birthday i will no longer be a teenager...i will be 20 and that seems so old...like i feel come 20 and i should be more mature...i feel like this is my last summer to be carefree and just have fun...and so far it has sucked...ugh...and the worst thing is i haven't even really kept in touch with my friends and the one person that i really did want to hang out with decided to spend the summer in dallas (u suck kels). i mean i have been to one party and it sucked because there was some drama between a friend of mine (who always has to have a lot of drama in her life) and some other girl at the party over a stupid misunderstanding...i am so tired of that bullshit...it feels like i never left high school and i realize it is because of the people in my life...and i just don't need this drama in my life...and most of all i do NOT want...and it isn't even my drama so i feel like such a bitch for even thinking this but maybe i should just cut all the drama out of my life...i mean if that means being without friends for awhile then that is ok...my stress level is so high...i've never had a problem being on my own...and in high school i never had any of my own drama just my friends' drama...so i am going to avoid all the drama i can even if that means not hanging out with some people as much...
yesterday my mom asked me if i knew what i was doing in the fall...i said i didn't know...but now it seems like san jac for me...and maybe that is best...i need some boundaries...apparently i am a little too wild for my own good...i honestly don't think i am wild...i just do what i want to do...i just have fun...a lot...
maybe i am not as innocent as i was last summer and while i miss that...i can't go back so i just have to accept it all...
Goals for the summer:
get job
figure out what i am doing
pay off debt
let go off hang ups (that includes people)
become comfortable in my own skin
just have fun
i guess that said i am going to go on myspace and reply to some emails that i have been putting off...