jitter jitter
Apologies to anyone having to put up with me this week, I seem to be snapping at everyone. I know why, but it doesn't make it right. My endoscopy is Friday, I'm going to be given IV sedation. Both terrify me beyond the bounds of reason-- the last time I had anything of this nature (oral surgery), they botched both the sedation and the procedure and I felt and heard everything and they severed a nerve in my mouth leaving me without feeling in part of my lip and jaw for about eight years. So my patience is basically completely nonexistent, and the more proximity I have with a person or animal, the worse it gets. What's especially driving me nuts is that Osama has become almost obsessively clingy in the last couple of days, I can't walk across the floor without falling over him-- literally. Amanda is almost as bad, as I do not need company to use the bathroom but I can't seem to convince her of that.
I just had my "pre-procedure interview" and found out that, among other things, I'm not to eat or drink (even water!) after midnight. For me, that's seven hours without food or drink, my stomach is going to be in full riot by the time I go to this fucking thing. Then there's the IV. And the fact that this is at noon-- and I sure as hell don't want to try to stay up till then, but I'm not sure I can sleep, either. Can I just say how much I hate the medical system? (The nurse seemed surprised that I'd work the night before my procedure-- but if I don't I'm going to go nuts, I think.)
So if I'm scarce or bitchy this week, that's why. I owe comments to half the world, and I'll try to get to them tomorrow. Even if I haven't commented, I know some of you are going through lots of tough stuff right now (wedjbai, my prayers are with you and your mom), and I *am* thinking of you. :)
Also-- thanks for the support yesterday, everyone. :) Some days I handle the whole being-chronically-ill thing better than other days. Sometimes you're the bat, sometimes the ball. Last night I got to be the ball. I'm still trying to track down where I got the Millicent thing from, since no matter how full of holes my memory is sometimes, I still don't come up with something from space. Best I can imagine is that there was the news of JKR showing her notebook and the open letter at the Lexicon being talked about during the same week, and I somehow mixed them up. Which is more reassuring than me remembering something that simply didn't happen.
I got 600 words done on the first of two posts about Zep Tepi and Kemetic time last night, so hopefully I'll be posting something other than whining and quizzes on here soon. :)
BTW, any gardeners on this list ever order from Spring Hill? I'm drooling over this catalog, but the last time I mail-ordered plants it didn't go so well, so I'd like to know if anyone has experience with them.
I just had my "pre-procedure interview" and found out that, among other things, I'm not to eat or drink (even water!) after midnight. For me, that's seven hours without food or drink, my stomach is going to be in full riot by the time I go to this fucking thing. Then there's the IV. And the fact that this is at noon-- and I sure as hell don't want to try to stay up till then, but I'm not sure I can sleep, either. Can I just say how much I hate the medical system? (The nurse seemed surprised that I'd work the night before my procedure-- but if I don't I'm going to go nuts, I think.)
So if I'm scarce or bitchy this week, that's why. I owe comments to half the world, and I'll try to get to them tomorrow. Even if I haven't commented, I know some of you are going through lots of tough stuff right now (wedjbai, my prayers are with you and your mom), and I *am* thinking of you. :)
Also-- thanks for the support yesterday, everyone. :) Some days I handle the whole being-chronically-ill thing better than other days. Sometimes you're the bat, sometimes the ball. Last night I got to be the ball. I'm still trying to track down where I got the Millicent thing from, since no matter how full of holes my memory is sometimes, I still don't come up with something from space. Best I can imagine is that there was the news of JKR showing her notebook and the open letter at the Lexicon being talked about during the same week, and I somehow mixed them up. Which is more reassuring than me remembering something that simply didn't happen.
I got 600 words done on the first of two posts about Zep Tepi and Kemetic time last night, so hopefully I'll be posting something other than whining and quizzes on here soon. :)
BTW, any gardeners on this list ever order from Spring Hill? I'm drooling over this catalog, but the last time I mail-ordered plants it didn't go so well, so I'd like to know if anyone has experience with them.