Jobs, whores, and small animal sacrificed to Satan
I'm working two jobs...the first at West..the second at Arbys...why do i work at Arby's?...because i have a warped sense of fun. yes i work at Arby's for fun...i don't actaully NEED the job, i only have it because i'm mad wit the monies...as Kat so cunningly put it. I'm sad...but i have no clue as to why. I keep feeling like something is missing...then i remember Pash and i aren't speaking...and i remember why i'm sad. He's a good guy...*shrugs* i don't know.
I'm sick of not being able to control my feelings. Of letting myself show around new people...especailly guys...I get so confused...I think they want one things then suddenly it's like...it's totally changed...it goes from being a comfortable inuendo to a strange joke that you don't get but happens to be on you...rather uncomfortable honestly. Sex is cool...it's a good thing, but when you go from...half naked an comfy to fully clothes and feeling dirty about everything that's happened because you realize you're not comfortable anymore...because everything has changed...and you can't figure out what...it's makes you realize...again...you really are just a whore. *shrugs* I always end up feeling that way...not sure why. My inner consious catching up to me for sacraficing small childr-- i mean animals...i mean stuffed animals...to satan. Must be it. But seriously...even when it's wasn't my fault...i felt like a whore...and not in a coolish kinda way...in the dirty bad person way. I hate to lie...but that's how it has to be...i can't be honest and get what i want...i've tried.
I'm sick of not being able to control my feelings. Of letting myself show around new people...especailly guys...I get so confused...I think they want one things then suddenly it's like...it's totally changed...it goes from being a comfortable inuendo to a strange joke that you don't get but happens to be on you...rather uncomfortable honestly. Sex is cool...it's a good thing, but when you go from...half naked an comfy to fully clothes and feeling dirty about everything that's happened because you realize you're not comfortable anymore...because everything has changed...and you can't figure out what...it's makes you realize...again...you really are just a whore. *shrugs* I always end up feeling that way...not sure why. My inner consious catching up to me for sacraficing small childr-- i mean animals...i mean stuffed animals...to satan. Must be it. But seriously...even when it's wasn't my fault...i felt like a whore...and not in a coolish kinda way...in the dirty bad person way. I hate to lie...but that's how it has to be...i can't be honest and get what i want...i've tried.