It's amazing what song lyrics can say
I don't even know what to say. I... am blank and empty and just... so disappointed that I can't even express it anymore. I don't know what to do. I don't know ANYTHING.
I mean, what do you do?! What do you do in this frustrating situation except end it all or just feel sorry for yourself. I keep searching for a happy medium, but nothing lasts. I hate having to sit around by myself all day and wallow in sadness over all this. I just want to get away from it all.
Right now I'm going to try to focus on the good part of today, which is that Alisha and I will be seeing John Mayer/Maroon 5 when we get back to Wake. I'm REALLY excited about that... and she will be the BEST company, too. It's gonna be great. Plus, even sooner than that, I have the whole staying with John thing in Rhode Island for July 4th weekend to really really look forward to, if all goes right.
How sucky is it that the awesome things always take a backseat in your heart to the sad things.
John (Pyle, not Mayer) told me to follow my heart and not my head. Now I am not so sure if there is all that much difference left... I think my head has influenced my heart too much. And now I'm flip-flopping endlessly with anger, sadness, and disappointment. I wish I could handle these things better... but no matter how much I try, or when I have my good moments, I always find myself sucked back into it.
I just wish I could stop thinking about it. Then I wouldn't be such a stupid internal wreck. It's such a blow to my pride, but... it's not like I shouldn't be used to that by now.
I mean, what do you do?! What do you do in this frustrating situation except end it all or just feel sorry for yourself. I keep searching for a happy medium, but nothing lasts. I hate having to sit around by myself all day and wallow in sadness over all this. I just want to get away from it all.
Right now I'm going to try to focus on the good part of today, which is that Alisha and I will be seeing John Mayer/Maroon 5 when we get back to Wake. I'm REALLY excited about that... and she will be the BEST company, too. It's gonna be great. Plus, even sooner than that, I have the whole staying with John thing in Rhode Island for July 4th weekend to really really look forward to, if all goes right.
How sucky is it that the awesome things always take a backseat in your heart to the sad things.
John (Pyle, not Mayer) told me to follow my heart and not my head. Now I am not so sure if there is all that much difference left... I think my head has influenced my heart too much. And now I'm flip-flopping endlessly with anger, sadness, and disappointment. I wish I could handle these things better... but no matter how much I try, or when I have my good moments, I always find myself sucked back into it.
I just wish I could stop thinking about it. Then I wouldn't be such a stupid internal wreck. It's such a blow to my pride, but... it's not like I shouldn't be used to that by now.