(no subject)
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Dottie's Christmas party. It was Liz who spiked the punch with too much fuzzy navel. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like old spice.
I thought it was funny when I put Rose's transformer tshirt on my head and danced the funky chicken on the water bed while singing `breakaway'. I didn't mean to break Dottie's alarm clock and don't know why Dottie would sue me for indescent exposure.
I don't remember calling brian's wife a fuckedup COW---even though she looked like one with orange eye shadow and blue lipstick!
And when I threw up on Jessica's husband's vagina, it was only because I ate too much of that salami.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my mustang through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a stinky cat and have me arrested for drunk in public!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all tipsy and stupid. And I'm really not to blame for any of this bastard stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and smelly yours,
Jenna (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 4 bucks!
Adult Letter to Santa
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Dottie's Christmas party. It was Liz who spiked the punch with too much fuzzy navel. I can't help it if I drank 13 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like old spice.
I thought it was funny when I put Rose's transformer tshirt on my head and danced the funky chicken on the water bed while singing `breakaway'. I didn't mean to break Dottie's alarm clock and don't know why Dottie would sue me for indescent exposure.
I don't remember calling brian's wife a fuckedup COW---even though she looked like one with orange eye shadow and blue lipstick!
And when I threw up on Jessica's husband's vagina, it was only because I ate too much of that salami.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my mustang through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a stinky cat and have me arrested for drunk in public!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all tipsy and stupid. And I'm really not to blame for any of this bastard stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and smelly yours,
Jenna (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 4 bucks!
Adult Letter to Santa