Fireflys
Um, no time, but need to post.
Also, will not get to everything that I need to (do I ever? haha).
I was just looking through pics of one of my best friends for a portrait for my art final, and in doing so, I realized HOW MUCH I miss Nicole. It was like a wave of nostalgia, and then I realized that the only time I'll spend with her is less than a week this summer, then we're off to opposite sides of the continent again, and probably forever. This is heartbreaking. I've grown immune to missing her, because we talk often on the phone, and of course, I have other things to think about. Still, realizing that you've grown apart from someone you love and you can't really help it is difficult.
But, this feeling also applies to so many other things/people/places. Like, it does for Austin and a few other old friends, and it will for high school and some of you guys, I'm sure. And it sucks to know that I have to go through the same thing again, though like my dad pointed out, moving was like a precursor for college, and I've already proven that I can readjust mildly successfully (no idea how I managed that, though I owe a bunch to yall <3), and plus, I don't have as much of an attachment to this place. AS MUCH being key; I still have a small one. It's like, I've finally established myself, or begun to, and in a couple months it's time to pick up and move again.
Additionally.
Lots of stuff on my mind. Like, my summer is here, and it should be WONDERFUL. Mucho excited. But currently it's a jumble of events plus guarding plus goals in my head, and I hope I can fit everything in and enjoy it and not be broke and be relaxed, too. And soon, I'm going to be an adult, responsible for so much. And I have no idea what I want to do with my life, just a ton of interests and somewhat unattainable goals. And I'm becoming a more nervous driver by the day because I swear I'm getting some rediculously watered down form of PTSD after so many road tests and the ego-destroying that accompanies them. I know that sounds crazy and exaggerated, hahaah, whatever. I might break down during my next road test, especially since it's at such an emotional time of year (a few days after graduation). Letssss hope that doesn't happen.
And, we're going to freaking graduate, and everyone down south already has, so it's like a weird time warp, and I need to get through this week and pass everything with hopefully at least a B.
And also, I've been thinking about love and relationships, like some of the type of thoughts that belong on April and Duncan's blog, and then some that don't, haha.
And, i dont know, everything right now is so weird and overwhelming.
I know, this isn't coherent.
And, I know this will be over soon. So soon. Life goes so quickly, so quickly.
I'm like, happy/sad/stressed/excited/worried/nervous/overwhelmed all at once right now.
Good night! I should....do sleep and make a dent in my to-do list, which never gets dented... :).
Also, will not get to everything that I need to (do I ever? haha).
I was just looking through pics of one of my best friends for a portrait for my art final, and in doing so, I realized HOW MUCH I miss Nicole. It was like a wave of nostalgia, and then I realized that the only time I'll spend with her is less than a week this summer, then we're off to opposite sides of the continent again, and probably forever. This is heartbreaking. I've grown immune to missing her, because we talk often on the phone, and of course, I have other things to think about. Still, realizing that you've grown apart from someone you love and you can't really help it is difficult.
But, this feeling also applies to so many other things/people/places. Like, it does for Austin and a few other old friends, and it will for high school and some of you guys, I'm sure. And it sucks to know that I have to go through the same thing again, though like my dad pointed out, moving was like a precursor for college, and I've already proven that I can readjust mildly successfully (no idea how I managed that, though I owe a bunch to yall <3), and plus, I don't have as much of an attachment to this place. AS MUCH being key; I still have a small one. It's like, I've finally established myself, or begun to, and in a couple months it's time to pick up and move again.
Additionally.
Lots of stuff on my mind. Like, my summer is here, and it should be WONDERFUL. Mucho excited. But currently it's a jumble of events plus guarding plus goals in my head, and I hope I can fit everything in and enjoy it and not be broke and be relaxed, too. And soon, I'm going to be an adult, responsible for so much. And I have no idea what I want to do with my life, just a ton of interests and somewhat unattainable goals. And I'm becoming a more nervous driver by the day because I swear I'm getting some rediculously watered down form of PTSD after so many road tests and the ego-destroying that accompanies them. I know that sounds crazy and exaggerated, hahaah, whatever. I might break down during my next road test, especially since it's at such an emotional time of year (a few days after graduation). Letssss hope that doesn't happen.
And, we're going to freaking graduate, and everyone down south already has, so it's like a weird time warp, and I need to get through this week and pass everything with hopefully at least a B.
And also, I've been thinking about love and relationships, like some of the type of thoughts that belong on April and Duncan's blog, and then some that don't, haha.
And, i dont know, everything right now is so weird and overwhelming.
I know, this isn't coherent.
And, I know this will be over soon. So soon. Life goes so quickly, so quickly.
I'm like, happy/sad/stressed/excited/worried/nervous/overwhelmed all at once right now.
Good night! I should....do sleep and make a dent in my to-do list, which never gets dented... :).