(no subject)
i feel so lonely right now. i never realized how much this would effect me. i keep crying spontaniously throughout the day because of it. i miss my sister jenny, i see her maybe once every 2 weeks for a few minutes because she is soo incredibly busy with this police thing, and then she has her family. i mean my siblings are all living their lives, and i'm stuck in this house hiding my feelings of people because i'm afraid of what everyone reading this and my family will think. i feel bad because i've been having to lie to everyone and it is eating me up inside. and i appologize because i have no been honest with my family and friends. i know that if i said how i felt in here, i would get tons of posts back and they would not be happy ones, and i can't go through that rejection right now. i already feel like i'm failing. i have nothing for anyone to be proud about. i have nothing to contribute.