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[pinknoises]

The other night I re-read a diary from a year ago and laughed at myself and got happy and sappy and missy and a lot of other things. I am excited for everything. But! I am sad about things too, and regretful and sorry and confused. I called

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[hippiered]

Ya kno, i normally wouldnt be saying this as a comment for everyone to read...but i dont really care if other people see this because im not ashamed. Its kinda weird that you tried calling, to say things. Because i have stopped myself many times from picking up the phone to call and tell you the same things. When im at home during the day, or in phoenix hanging out with people who enevitably drive me crazy, i think about a year ago...and the year before that. When we would get home from school and get on the phone...like 100 times a day. When we would write eachother notes and color in pictures at TGI Fridays while we wait for our dinner date guests to arrive. I can honestly say that out of my entire life, those times spent with you were the happiest. You were my first real best friend, it seemed. Attached at the hip. We used to do everything together. But then our differences carved more space between us then anything...and i cant tell if its for the best or not. I guess we did what we had to do. New people are exciting...until one day you find yourself going through old notes, pictures and journals...and then you realize that the things you want the most, arent there anymore. Last years birthday party was the best birthday i had ever had. Because i got to share it with my 2 most favorite people in the world. Here a year later, that park holds nothing but ruins. And i wonder if things will ever be the same. I am still coping with it all. Still in pain from it all. But if i could go back, i would do things differently...i would have balanced the boyfriend and you. I think that is when it starting to decline. Im sorry for things. I think maybe we broke eachothers hearts in a way. I kno mine was broken. i love you still

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