What happened?
I have never been one of those girls that need to have constant reassurance that there mate loves them. I have never been one of those girls that has trouble realizing that a relationship is over and it is time to move on. That being said I would like to know why it is that six months after the break up I still miss him? Why do I get upset that he is staying friends with the heartless witch that broke his heart long before we were together? He is not that special and I am not this weak. I have been ok with this break up lately, I have been glad that I am able to go out with other people, and then today I see her name on his page and it is like I am some 16 year old snot face kid who is thinking that life is over because some boy dumped her. Wait I was not even this pathetic at sixteen, even then I would just shut up and go on with life, know that there is someone better out there. Once you are done morning someone the hurt should never be allowed to come back. An old familiar song, or smell, or thinking you see his face in the crowd smiling at you should not reduce you to tears. IIf you had asked me yesterday I would have told you that I was fine with the break up, not ready to jump into something serious but ok with us not being us. Maybe its that I do not understand why he would want to stay friends with her after the way that she hurt him. I had to see the hurt that was on his face and I am not sure why he would want to stay friends with her, that and if they stay friends maybe it will turn into something more and I do not want her to have him because she is not good enough for him, but who am I to decide that? I know it is time for me to move on with my life and that is without him. I need to just let these feelings go, I deserve better. I have a chance to start my life over again while it would be great to have him in it he decided that he did not want me I have to accept that and move on, its not fair for me to continue to grieve him and the relationship that we HAD its over and time for me to grow up and go on with life. Who knows what the future holds for me. We will stay friends or some diluted version of friends, there will be the hey how are you texts, calls, or emails maybe even a suggestion of lunch to ease his guilt but I know who my true friends are they have held me while I cried over losing him, and reminded me that I am beautiful, and more than just this illness. Who knows maybe one day he and I will be friends like we were before we started dating, I hope so because I miss that guy, Until then though I guess its back to polite conversations and letting go of the past.