darling, you're so right.
gah. that's all i can say. i come back home as often as i can because i hate school and i love it here. i love it because i can see you, even if i cant talk to you i can know youre happy. thats all i need. youre happy. i couldnt ruin that. not that i could if i wanted to. i miss you terribly. i couldnt even cry about it at all. i wouldnt let myself cry over it. i cant be the same girl you hated. ive changed drastically. im not selfish anymore. you kiss her right in front of me and i cant even bring myself to look casual about it. i just throw my eyes in another direction completely and stare in complete and utter terror that ive totally lost you forever. and this sounds so stupid and lame and cliche but i watched the notebook and thought of you the whole time and it hit so close to home. and i wear my ring everyday. and i looked for the note you wrote me that told me all the reasons why you dont love me and all i can think about it "i'm finally no longer with you". i cant do anything to make you forgive me. im trying so hard to move on. trust me im trying. and someday i honestly know i can move on. love is just certain hormones and endorphins released by glands that trigger strong emotion and i am in complete control over that. ill move on someday so be happy. or better yet stay as happy as you are now, always.