jessography
For the wonderful, beginning news...
I got a new digi! Holy crap am I excited... my camera has been out of service since October/November. I took it to Ritz only to have them inform me it would cost 140 dollars. It sat there for a month and a week before they had the energy to let me know it would be costing another 60 dollars for it to "work properly." I demanded my money back and just ended up buying a new one.
It's a pretty little thing... Olympus.. I've seen/heard good things about this brand so hopefully it will give me great luck and great pictures.
So I guess the first thing I'll talk about is the whole health issue. The last time I made a substantial update, it was concerning my January/Februray bout with a strong gastrointestinal attack. Since my last post, I endured the colonoscopy and was told that I have Ulcerative Colitis. I researched it up and down and found natural alternatives for an inflamed intestines. I bought some liquid Aloe Vera, fish oil capsules, more digestive enzymes and stronger Probiotics. I have been lightyears better - which means... back to my binge eating habits.
I creeped back up from 112, 115, 117... and then everything after that was a blur. I stepped on the scale three weeks later and I was my highest ever. 130.
Even my "I'm a big girl" now clothes are stitching themselves upon my thighs. So, I decided to try. Try. Try.
I wrote up an eating plan starting today, Monday, till Friday. I'll keep making new ones, so long as I stick to them - I won't waste the trees if my eating habits aren't effected. If I DON'T make a change somewhere, I WILL become overweight. For my height, I'm surprised I don't look heavier than I do now.
Since I got my camera tonight, I realized how NOT having it influenced me. I don't want to take outfit pictures anymore - nothing looks the same. I don't feel comfortable with my body and I don't think I am making healthy choices even though I predominantly eat pure, whole foods.
Today my plan was :
B : Two whole-grain Flax Seed waffles with margarine and organic caramel syrup.
L : Carrot sticks and an apple.
D : Turkey meatball sub (sauce, meatballs, cheese, bun), one small piece of homemade pizza, four bites of spaghetti, one bell pepper dipped in organic dressing, a few asparagus spears.
I realize dinner wasn't exactly... tame, but, I can't go from eating what I was to starvation mode - NOT THAT I PLAN ON DOING THAT - because I don't.
It was so incredibly hard to resist my near-binge on Lay's chips before work. I was biting my lip and shaking my head profusely... but, I did it! And boy am I proud. Let's see if I can keep it up. My goal weight loss by Sunday is 1-3 pounds. I'm aiming for the gym 3-4 times by then as well.
Some of the reason (I don't know how significant of a role, but) why I've probably ingested a tad too many calories is because of the pot I've been smoking. Since I started smoking once or twice a week with Jenny, I took it upon myself to be reunited with an old high school friend of mine - James - who could be one of the biggest potheads I know. We started smoking together on Saturday nights, which led to us taking a trip to Syracuses excuse for a smoke shop, which led to me purchasing a bowl, which led to me purchasing my own weed, which led to me smoking basically everyday.
Yeah, I realize this is probably not doing me any good, right? I mean no, I'm not getting insanely high all day, everyday. For the most part, just before I go to bed, or sometimes during the day if I don't have to work. And, when I smoke, I'm not smoking like seven bowls. I'll smoke one bowl, if. I hope that I don't build a tolerance. I don't feel like being a fiend.
I hope this isn't disrespecting for me. I think I am just in a stage. Being high like this really gives me something I feel I've been missing out on.. a depth or an edge - I'll never drink and I don't intend on this spilling into other drugs.
In my weed travels, I've noticed that it does the following for/to me.
. Sometimes I will get a body high, where things feel very slow, fluid, and almost mystic.
. If I am around Jenny, for some reason I get very goofy. Laughy, random, etc. James and I just drive around and chat.
. I do get paranoid.
. I don't necessarily get hungry, but since I have discovered how lovely food is while high, I will eat and find it amazing.
. Same with eating, I don't necessarily get horny, but, orgasm while high is seventeen times better than it is naturally.
. TV shows, commericials, and movies that ordinarily seem normal, seem strange or weird. I remember watching Charlie's Angels and thinking "what the hell? this is totally bizarre" when I am sure it is... not quite that dramatically different.
. Lazy. Tired. I fall asleep afterwards every time.
I've eben been ballsy enough to be smoking in my room later at night when I know no one will come in there till the morning. It doesn't constantly burn the way a cigarette does, and I don't find it as pungent. My mom is well aware that I've been smoking, but I don't think she knows I've been smoking this often. We'll see.
Certainly NO WEED will be consumed before the next EVANESCENCE concert happening on April fucking fifth! Like, OH, MY, JEEZ! This will be the SIXTH one I attend and amazingly I have touched/talked to/met with either Amy or each/all of the bandmates EVERY SINGLE TIME.
I went to New York City to see them a few months ago (why am I looking back on my posts and NOT seeing one for this?!?!?) Why the hell didn't I explain this?
The place.
Guitarist.
Drummer.
Um yeah duh.
The opening band's lead singer, Ryan and I.
I realize they aren't behind cuts but.. sorry. It's me with Evanescence...
Either way, my friend Jake and I are headed to Glen Falls, NY to see her fire it up another time. He is an Ev virgin, but a big fan. I can't wait for that cherry to be popped!
Us this Summer.
That will definitely warrant another update, hopefully chock full of special pictures with my fabulous new photo taker. There is so much else that needs to be discussed that I'm afraid to get into right now, and so many shots that need to be captured.
I'll be back.
J
I got a new digi! Holy crap am I excited... my camera has been out of service since October/November. I took it to Ritz only to have them inform me it would cost 140 dollars. It sat there for a month and a week before they had the energy to let me know it would be costing another 60 dollars for it to "work properly." I demanded my money back and just ended up buying a new one.
It's a pretty little thing... Olympus.. I've seen/heard good things about this brand so hopefully it will give me great luck and great pictures.
So I guess the first thing I'll talk about is the whole health issue. The last time I made a substantial update, it was concerning my January/Februray bout with a strong gastrointestinal attack. Since my last post, I endured the colonoscopy and was told that I have Ulcerative Colitis. I researched it up and down and found natural alternatives for an inflamed intestines. I bought some liquid Aloe Vera, fish oil capsules, more digestive enzymes and stronger Probiotics. I have been lightyears better - which means... back to my binge eating habits.
I creeped back up from 112, 115, 117... and then everything after that was a blur. I stepped on the scale three weeks later and I was my highest ever. 130.
Even my "I'm a big girl" now clothes are stitching themselves upon my thighs. So, I decided to try. Try. Try.
I wrote up an eating plan starting today, Monday, till Friday. I'll keep making new ones, so long as I stick to them - I won't waste the trees if my eating habits aren't effected. If I DON'T make a change somewhere, I WILL become overweight. For my height, I'm surprised I don't look heavier than I do now.
Since I got my camera tonight, I realized how NOT having it influenced me. I don't want to take outfit pictures anymore - nothing looks the same. I don't feel comfortable with my body and I don't think I am making healthy choices even though I predominantly eat pure, whole foods.
Today my plan was :
B : Two whole-grain Flax Seed waffles with margarine and organic caramel syrup.
L : Carrot sticks and an apple.
D : Turkey meatball sub (sauce, meatballs, cheese, bun), one small piece of homemade pizza, four bites of spaghetti, one bell pepper dipped in organic dressing, a few asparagus spears.
I realize dinner wasn't exactly... tame, but, I can't go from eating what I was to starvation mode - NOT THAT I PLAN ON DOING THAT - because I don't.
It was so incredibly hard to resist my near-binge on Lay's chips before work. I was biting my lip and shaking my head profusely... but, I did it! And boy am I proud. Let's see if I can keep it up. My goal weight loss by Sunday is 1-3 pounds. I'm aiming for the gym 3-4 times by then as well.
Some of the reason (I don't know how significant of a role, but) why I've probably ingested a tad too many calories is because of the pot I've been smoking. Since I started smoking once or twice a week with Jenny, I took it upon myself to be reunited with an old high school friend of mine - James - who could be one of the biggest potheads I know. We started smoking together on Saturday nights, which led to us taking a trip to Syracuses excuse for a smoke shop, which led to me purchasing a bowl, which led to me purchasing my own weed, which led to me smoking basically everyday.
Yeah, I realize this is probably not doing me any good, right? I mean no, I'm not getting insanely high all day, everyday. For the most part, just before I go to bed, or sometimes during the day if I don't have to work. And, when I smoke, I'm not smoking like seven bowls. I'll smoke one bowl, if. I hope that I don't build a tolerance. I don't feel like being a fiend.
I hope this isn't disrespecting for me. I think I am just in a stage. Being high like this really gives me something I feel I've been missing out on.. a depth or an edge - I'll never drink and I don't intend on this spilling into other drugs.
In my weed travels, I've noticed that it does the following for/to me.
. Sometimes I will get a body high, where things feel very slow, fluid, and almost mystic.
. If I am around Jenny, for some reason I get very goofy. Laughy, random, etc. James and I just drive around and chat.
. I do get paranoid.
. I don't necessarily get hungry, but since I have discovered how lovely food is while high, I will eat and find it amazing.
. Same with eating, I don't necessarily get horny, but, orgasm while high is seventeen times better than it is naturally.
. TV shows, commericials, and movies that ordinarily seem normal, seem strange or weird. I remember watching Charlie's Angels and thinking "what the hell? this is totally bizarre" when I am sure it is... not quite that dramatically different.
. Lazy. Tired. I fall asleep afterwards every time.
I've eben been ballsy enough to be smoking in my room later at night when I know no one will come in there till the morning. It doesn't constantly burn the way a cigarette does, and I don't find it as pungent. My mom is well aware that I've been smoking, but I don't think she knows I've been smoking this often. We'll see.
Certainly NO WEED will be consumed before the next EVANESCENCE concert happening on April fucking fifth! Like, OH, MY, JEEZ! This will be the SIXTH one I attend and amazingly I have touched/talked to/met with either Amy or each/all of the bandmates EVERY SINGLE TIME.
I went to New York City to see them a few months ago (why am I looking back on my posts and NOT seeing one for this?!?!?) Why the hell didn't I explain this?
The place.
Guitarist.
Drummer.
Um yeah duh.
The opening band's lead singer, Ryan and I.
I realize they aren't behind cuts but.. sorry. It's me with Evanescence...
Either way, my friend Jake and I are headed to Glen Falls, NY to see her fire it up another time. He is an Ev virgin, but a big fan. I can't wait for that cherry to be popped!
Us this Summer.
That will definitely warrant another update, hopefully chock full of special pictures with my fabulous new photo taker. There is so much else that needs to be discussed that I'm afraid to get into right now, and so many shots that need to be captured.
I'll be back.
J