Warning: Emo post.
Ugh this has been a horrible week. And I feel absolutely horrible and slefish and shallow for complaining, but everything has just been so horrible. I want to cry. I think I'm just really dang emotional right now. Stupid emotional girls.
I wish I could just sit and write and rant and talk about everything but I can't. I can't because half the things I want to say are mean, and I'm not the type of person to go talk trash behind someone's back. The other part makes me feel incredibly guilty and selfish for even thinking it, so there is no way I could ever outwardly admit it. I just. Want everything to go back to the beginning of the year. Or fast forward to after school. I'm done with all this drama. Done with people talking crap behind eachother's back. Done trying to be all happy. Done caring about school. Just done. I want to graduate. And it's not like I'm this horribly depressed person - because I'm not - I'm happy most of the time. I just think everything is catching up to me and it's driving me crazy. At least there is only a month or so left of school. That I am really happy about.
I wish Lacey was here. At least I can still talk to her. I would be going even more crazy if I couldn't. I should just make her come back to school with me until I graduate (even though I know you would hate that :-)). But ugh. I'm just sick of people. I want to be back around people I can trust and people who actually care. Like Sonia. Thanks Sonia for actually caring today and taking time to IM me. That really means a lot to me.
ARGGH. I can't keep pretending. This sucks. I am going crazy. I feel like everything is just one big haze. This sucks. But I'm done complaining. Because I can't complain anymore. And you know, compared to a lot of things, my problems look like I'm a two year old whose ice cream fell on the ground. So I am going to stop now. And be there for people who need me. And be a friend to those people who are still my friends. And just be.
Wow. Surprisingly this made me feel a lot better. Yay venting. Ok, in happy news. Uhm, I got this really cool half moon chair for $20 that is usually $60 from American Eagle. That made me happy. And now I am going to go think of more happy things. Like shopping. And Lacey coming back. And seeing Beauty and the Beast.
I wish I could just sit and write and rant and talk about everything but I can't. I can't because half the things I want to say are mean, and I'm not the type of person to go talk trash behind someone's back. The other part makes me feel incredibly guilty and selfish for even thinking it, so there is no way I could ever outwardly admit it. I just. Want everything to go back to the beginning of the year. Or fast forward to after school. I'm done with all this drama. Done with people talking crap behind eachother's back. Done trying to be all happy. Done caring about school. Just done. I want to graduate. And it's not like I'm this horribly depressed person - because I'm not - I'm happy most of the time. I just think everything is catching up to me and it's driving me crazy. At least there is only a month or so left of school. That I am really happy about.
I wish Lacey was here. At least I can still talk to her. I would be going even more crazy if I couldn't. I should just make her come back to school with me until I graduate (even though I know you would hate that :-)). But ugh. I'm just sick of people. I want to be back around people I can trust and people who actually care. Like Sonia. Thanks Sonia for actually caring today and taking time to IM me. That really means a lot to me.
ARGGH. I can't keep pretending. This sucks. I am going crazy. I feel like everything is just one big haze. This sucks. But I'm done complaining. Because I can't complain anymore. And you know, compared to a lot of things, my problems look like I'm a two year old whose ice cream fell on the ground. So I am going to stop now. And be there for people who need me. And be a friend to those people who are still my friends. And just be.
Wow. Surprisingly this made me feel a lot better. Yay venting. Ok, in happy news. Uhm, I got this really cool half moon chair for $20 that is usually $60 from American Eagle. That made me happy. And now I am going to go think of more happy things. Like shopping. And Lacey coming back. And seeing Beauty and the Beast.