Ever wonder.
Have you ever wondered if it is really worth getting out of bed in the morning aching.. getting older.. becoming more alone and isolated. Every pain staking breath.. every sharp pain.. every thought process.
My life .. is absolutly pathetic. I have a few good things going for me but not much else. My life has become a series of events. I get up in the after noon after a fight with myself to get up and wake up. I smoke too much I drink to much coffee. I wash my face brush my teeth, comb my hair, throw it in a pony tail.. try to eat something or not. I speed off to work .. where I do the same shit every night. At 10pm I drag my ass out of the building.. and out to the parking lot and get in my car and speed home.. and eat . maybe not.. play Secondlife.. till all hours of the morning.. since I can't seem to sleep anymore. Not sleeping.. not eating.. not caring..
I am behind on bills own over 400 bucks to cable and electric. I couldnt pay next month.. my paycheck was shit this week.. not enough to cover the rent and those 2 over due bills. So I have to talk to mom here in a little bit when she gets up to figure this out .. I am perpetually broke.. and people wonder why if ever even asked, I dont want to do anything. I never have any fucking money.
I am tired of my ocd fucking job. I am tired of conforming to people standards. I am damn tired of being everyone whipping post. With the exception of a very .. very few.. everyone is shit in my life.. they treat me like shit .. the act like fucking shit.. they are shit.
Sometimes I wish.. I would have been DOA that crazy morning back in October.
Fuck you if you don't like my writing or think I am depressed I could give a shit less.
My life .. is absolutly pathetic. I have a few good things going for me but not much else. My life has become a series of events. I get up in the after noon after a fight with myself to get up and wake up. I smoke too much I drink to much coffee. I wash my face brush my teeth, comb my hair, throw it in a pony tail.. try to eat something or not. I speed off to work .. where I do the same shit every night. At 10pm I drag my ass out of the building.. and out to the parking lot and get in my car and speed home.. and eat . maybe not.. play Secondlife.. till all hours of the morning.. since I can't seem to sleep anymore. Not sleeping.. not eating.. not caring..
I am behind on bills own over 400 bucks to cable and electric. I couldnt pay next month.. my paycheck was shit this week.. not enough to cover the rent and those 2 over due bills. So I have to talk to mom here in a little bit when she gets up to figure this out .. I am perpetually broke.. and people wonder why if ever even asked, I dont want to do anything. I never have any fucking money.
I am tired of my ocd fucking job. I am tired of conforming to people standards. I am damn tired of being everyone whipping post. With the exception of a very .. very few.. everyone is shit in my life.. they treat me like shit .. the act like fucking shit.. they are shit.
Sometimes I wish.. I would have been DOA that crazy morning back in October.
Fuck you if you don't like my writing or think I am depressed I could give a shit less.